Do you think my standards are too high?

So one of my guy friends told me that my standards are too high, do you think he's right? These are my must-haves for any potential guy that I might date:

- around the same height as me (doesn't necessarily mean taller just about the same height)
- in school
- no more than five years older than me or two years younger (I'm 20 so I don't want to date a minor)
- No drugs or smoking
- Clean/hygenic
- he can't hate dogs or kids
- able to accept me for who I am and respect me as a person bc I would do the same for him no matter what
- Be there for me
-trustworthy
- can't be a stick in the mud, has to at least have some sense of humor, even a bad sense of humor is all right.
-not afraid to try new things


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Those aren't generally high standards, but sadly nowadays most people don't our age don't have any standards. It's mostly about sex and that's that. So no one tries to live up to any sort of standards because the other person doesn't expect it. Sex, sex, sex. Once that's given up, no one feels the need to try. I'm 20 as well and it's hard to find a guy around our age that fits all of these things.

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    • Nah there are plenty of guys I am sure. It's frustrating to see people complain about there not being any decent guys left when in reality there are plenty. You just don't notice them.

    • i'm not saying they aren't out there, I'm just saying they aren't as prominent as the douche bags.

What Guys Said 17

  • I don't THINK so, but a couple of things.

    How tall are you?

    Your point about wanting to be accepted, and about accepting a guy for who he is, is meaningless really. You're saying that, if you like a guy, then you like him. And you're saying that you want a guy who likes you to like you. Or am I misunderstanding?

    Perhaps the best thing to do is to ask your friends why they say your standards are too high. They know you better than we do.

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    • I'm 5'8 and skinny. I mean like if the guy has other quirks or is a bit dorky or has some other stuff that I might not particularly find super attractive I'll be all right with it- I love reading but if he's not into books then that's fine I can respect that. Is that bad? I don't want to contradict myself or be unreasonable

    • So, basically, if he is 5'8'' or above, that's fine? I don't think that's unreasonable.

      But, your friends must be telling you what they're telling you for a reason. Ask them why.

  • Based on that list, no, not at all. So a quick question--is that the whole list?

    And are we talking about going on a first date or multiple dates? If a first date, probably a bit too high (you don't know them yet!). For multiple dates, quite reasonable.

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    • pretty much the whole list and I think after the first couple of dates when you get the general idea for what kind of person the other is... after date #5 if you don't feel right about the guy, there's no point in going out with him again-girl code.

  • Uh! Most of them are okie. But How is it possible that you say that You will accept him for who he is and respect him, but expect him to be of all these standards. Its a bit contradictory, Yet okie. Its difficult to find one who matches all, but not impossible.

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  • everything else seems pretty ok besides the school part. Why does he need to be in school? is that a testament of how worthy a man is just because he's in school? What if he already has a stable job with a good company and does not feel the need to educate himself at the time. And the years are pretty strict. You won't date someone born past 1989? hmm.

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  • By any chance does he not meet your standards?

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    • the ones that I have met are way too good for me so that's why I'm questioning

  • My personal view is that, in general, your standards might only be getting too high when you start complaining about being single.

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  • well i dont think he was referring to personality... im guessing you have high standards when it comes to looks.

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  • I don't think that those are particularly high expectations.

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  • That sounds normal, at most.

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  • well only the height thingy and the age thingy is other then my needs.
    depends on how tall or small you are and it's normal for most girls to like older men, I don't know why (milf hunter).

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    • when you're over 18 and taller than the average female those things matter though. I don't mind if the guy is 2 or three years older than me but I'm not dating a 17 or 27 yo dude its just not gonna happen

    • that might be where it's going red. I used to have a high standard aswell but I think that would be bad for what I might be loosing. I would like things to be legal but aswell not date some girl who I know will surely die before me lol. when I turn 18 I don't know if I should look up for older or younger cause younger is ilegal

  • No that isn't very high, but I'd fail them since I smoke weed

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  • These are my standards, not as lengthy
    1. She is a Christian or willing to be a Christian
    2. She is sweet and loving
    3. While I am not too shallow about looks, she must be decently attractive physically
    4. She is a virgin

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  • Only thing is the 25 upper age limit. Many guys in med school, phd or law school are over 25, I would raise it to 30 if I were you.

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    • no way I could never date a guy that old...10 years older? what sick dude would want to date a girl 10 years younger than him that's soooo effing creepy

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    • so true dude. age should not matter when it comes to the love you have for someone.

    • no disrespect to your parents if it worked for them cool but i disagree about the age just being a number i dont think thats true and i would not feel comfortable dating someone that old

  • I think, yes your standarts are high. But not impossible

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  • Let's see... all those requirements for him, followed by "able to accept me for who I am".

    Hmmm?

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  • Eh, the first and third seem a little arbitrary, but overall, not unreasonable to expect.

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  • thats not too high though!! dont worry u will find that kinda guy!!
    (but its high)

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    • really? should I lower them? Jeez I thought they were pretty standard

    • means those r kinda my standerds too but they r kinda difficult to find!!! But they r best for u if u wanted a perfect partner! the ones i think doesn't matter is the second and sixth one!!

    • and for the note i am not gay and these are my standerds about a girl!

What Girls Said 3

  • do ur guy friends fit those criteria? if not then that explains it. usually guys will tell u ur standards are too high if they feel some type of way for not meeting it. OR they may think u are not attractive and telling you that beggars can't be choosers

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    • my guy friends are kind of assholes... lovable assholes but still assholes haha. No they don't fit most of these at all... pot smokers, cocaine snorters, a lot older than me, hates dogs or kids... I don't know why I'm friends with them sometimes haha

  • They probably don't fit your standards but assume you like guys that are like them since you hang around them.

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  • Sounds like the standards of most people.

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