At this point, should I hire a dating coach?

At this point, I am incredibly frustrated. I am 20 and never had a girlfriend. I am as super virgin as you can get. I don't know where to meet girls. Yes, church is good, but I am in class during the college group. I don't have any actual friends either. I just do not know what to do anymore. Here, while other people are dating or having fun, I am sitting on my ass twiddling my thumbs trying to figure out where to begin.

  • Yes
    27% (3)36% (4)32% (7)Vote
  • No
    73% (8)64% (7)68% (15)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have seen a couple other of your questions. Your arn't a happy bunny at the moment and that's fine. But if you arn't happy you need to change somethings. I agree with others that you most won't likely attract girls if you have a lot of things you are happy with. Actually it's not strictly true you probably will, however they will most likely be in a similar boat and be generally unhappy with thier life. Do you want a girlfriend who is sad unhappy and always down? Or someone who is a pleasure and fun to be around? The girl alone shouldn't be the wone to make you happy, that needs to come from you first.
    If you are going to hire any sort of coach, perhaps a life coach, someone who can help you learn to find the motivation and tools to pick yourself up and get the things you want in your life?

    Have you joined any clubs or groups who meet up socially yet? Once you start to change the other things in your life you arn't happy with, not having friends ect, and start getting out doing things you enjoy, you will probably feel better. You will also then be putting yourself in a situation likely to meet new girls.

    Being 20 there is no reason to worry about not having been on a date or being a virgin. don't pressure yourself or feel bad it's not happened yet.
    Start to make some small changes for what you see as the better and take it from there.
    It is tough being responsible for our own happiness sometimes, but we are. Things don't change unless we do something about it.

    You are attractive your doing alright on that front.
    It's ok to be down sometimes, as long as you can pull yourself up again.

    If you want to be miserable and have a miserable girlfriend and no friends fine, it's your life.
    But if you don't, start making some small changes now.

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    • Your new photo looks great! You have a really nice smile and features. Carry that smile around, even if you feel down, and act happy even if you have things your not happy about. If you look and act happy you will definitely attract friends and potential dates a like. You can achieve an awful lot, just gotta believe and act it!

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    • I just signed up for a group

    • Well that's awesome. One small thing at a time hey. Now you just gotta make sure you get down and meet up with them! Even if when it comes to it your head tries to tell you not to. No excuses. You will be pleased with yourself once you have. Good for you and best of luck.

What Girls Said 6

  • Don't waste your money on some bootleg Hitch. Common dude, you're only 20. It isn't the end of the world.

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  • I say online dating before dating coach.

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    • No luck with online dating either

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    • Where do I begin? Ok...
      First time for anything is very significant, that includes losing one's virginity. Regardless of how many partners a girl has had, she will always remember her first, whether it be good or bad. For example, a prostitute can have hundreds of partners in her lifetime, but do you think she will forget her first? No.
      Each person a girl has sex with, it becomes another stone added to the rock pile or another notch in the post. She may have sex with one and move on, but still, that first time is always significant, whether she wants it to be or not. That does not mean someone else she has sex with is special to her, but still, that first guy earns a top rank whether he was a douche bag or not. That is because he is her first and shared a significant first-time moment with her.
      So, here I come along, still a virgin. Let's say I meet a girl who is not a virgin. If I have sex with her, it will be a historical moment for me regardless. For her, she has...

    • been around the block. She has the memories of a guy holding her and penetrating her, while all I can remember is her. All I know and think to myself is how some guy had her heart one time and got to experience that first time with her, while I do not get that in return.

      See, all I want is to meet sweet, loving, and pretty girl who is a virgin like me and us share those very first moments with each other. Those very first moments with each other with no recollection of someone else is priceless. We can learn about sex from each other, learn from each other, and strengthen that bondage with no baggage or memories of previous partners. To me, that is valuable beyond words.

  • Im 20 and /just/ got my first date. Just hang in there.

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  • You look like a debbie downer... it's not attractive to normal girls.

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  • you are 20, not 40. smh

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    • 20 is old when it comes to finding virgin girls

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    • @Anno_Domini you are very lucky then :)

    • I know. The guy is lucky. Have to admit I am jealous

  • try online dating if you haven't yet, if that doesn't work, then give dating coaches/consultants a try

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What Guys Said 13

  • Your just a late bloomer that's all, If you have trouble talking to women then yes that is a small problem but it can be easily fixed. You just have to find common ground in the conversation something that both of you enjoy talking about and then let the conversation flow. You can meet women literally anywhere bookstore, bar, gym etc having some kind of thing women can comment on can help get a conversation started or rolling like a nice hat or ring. Your not a ugly guy so you don't have that to worry about just be happy, confident and most importantly yourself.

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  • If you carry yourself in real life the exact same way you bear your username. Then you've made yourself to be a walking bottle of girl-repellent.

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  • what happened to that 16 year old you went on a date with recently?

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  • A dating coach can always help. I am currently saving up to see David wygant. He might seem like he is a guy that wouldn't appeal to church-goers but apparently he is very respectful of what different people want out of dating and respectful of religious beliefs. He is $2,500 which is a little bit lower than the standard for hiring dating coaches anywhere between $3,000 and $5,000 per program

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  • It's a good thing that virginity is important to you, because it sounds like you'll have yours forever. Being a misery guts is supremely unattractive, and by insisting on virgins only you've significantly narrowed your field of potential girls.

    Question suppose you find a virgin girl, are you going to have sex with her?

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    • Eventually if we are in a long term relationship yes. And your idea of "significantly" may be different than others

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    • I tried being confident and outgoing, but it still did not work. I have been rejected so many times I can generate an enormous list

    • Being rejected is part of dating. Probably the worst part. It just didn't work with that particular girl. Each new girl you meet deserves the benefit of the doubt, to not have what previous girls did held against her.

  • That would depend on the coach. in my opinion it should be someone empathic with people skills. Rather than some douche who doesn't take no for an answer.

    I'm thirty. I only started approaching women this year. I'm mad shy. Anyway, you learn from it. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere on the dating front, being adventurous and saying hi to people who pique your interest is thrilling. It's empowering.

    Try it. And the virgin thing... I don't know. Personally think it's silly. It's like saying 'I've never played football. And I will only play with n00bs.' Who cares? As long as the person is cool.

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  • If you can afford some phone coaching, it might help. But just be wary of shelling out your money, there's a lot of crap out there, people are spending thousands of dollars and coaching and dating "boot camps", not to mention all these pickup artist ebooks that are popping up all over the internet. A lot of people who are involved in coaching are passionate about helping guys and improving their charisma when it comes to business and career, and have had social struggles so don't have the arrogance that other guy's might. Just be wary of shelling out money just because some guy claims he has the title of the most successful pickup artist in the world, but are often a case of the "blind leading the blind".

    Stay away from the methods that have a flowchart of what to say and exactly and claim it's a blueprint to getting in a girl's pants. Those methods are garbage. But before phone coaching, try to hang around guys that are good with women, but have the same ideals you have.

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  • At 20? No.

    Go places solo... u will be surprised how open people are (including female people) to socializing with u if u approach them first without an entourage. 8-)

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  • No, because there is no secret to getting a woman other than talking with them and trying to hang out with them.

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    • Yeah, but where do you find the opportunities to do so?

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    • When you feel like it's time to ask for her number, you ask for it. If she says no, no problem. If she says yes, good on you.

      True story: This summer I approached a really beautiful woman on a train. We spoke, and I think we both enjoyed it. But I couldn't get myself to ask for her number.

      Next day, I get on the train, sit down, and lo and behold: the same woman is there right next to me. We talk again, it is nice again, but AGAIN I don't ask for her number. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.

      Anyway, ask for it :)

    • In that situation it's important to ask for her number. But usually I try to avoid getting their number unless I have to because I don't see them ever.

  • Ya I would seek one out

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  • I'm in the exact same boat as you! I'm 21 a virgin and never had a girlfriend, I don't know where to meet single girls and I don't know what to do I don't know where to start. So I don't have any ideas :(

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    • I don't either. It's incredibly frustration beyond words.

    • I've had a couple of ideas but oh no it's all couples no single girls, nada. I don't know where single girls go and I don't know what to do.

  • The ladies would probably prefer a motorbike or a hot-rod.
    ... Oh I see...

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  • http://www.mgtow.com/

    Most women aren't worth it, sad to say. Live your life, explore your hobbies and your passions. If you attract a woman along the way, then great, but don't make that the pinnacle of your existence. There is so much more out there.

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