What should I do in this situation of when dating an Ex?

My girlfriend of 3 years and I have recently split up (within the last month) and she I are in still in limited contact. She broke it off with me because she thought that I didn't want to integrate myself with her family and friends and vice versa. She saw that as being a big red flag for her and niggling during the 6 months leading to the break up. The other main reason is that she has become unsure of what she wants and where she wants be in life, personally and professionally.

After the break up and I moved out (we lived together for 1 and a half years), she wanted for us to be friends. I told her that I didn't want to be friends but instead, work on our problems and fix our relationship (basically I walked away from her 'offer' on remaining to be friends) . After that she proceeded to cry profusely, saddened by fact that she could lose me forever. She said that breaking up with me could be her making the biggest mistake. She also said that she doesn't want to work on our problems right now because she doesn't think that I can give her what she needs; family integration. And she needs time and space to figure out what she wants. I've taken responsibility for my role in the break up and I'm working on myself, getting back into my groove and focusing on myself.

During the 6 months leading up to the break up she was unable to articulate her needs and even when I asked her about them she would be tight-lipped. Shortly after we split up, I heard through a mutual friend that she had gone on a date with another guy (most likely, a rebound). However, recently, she and I have been in contact more often and have started to hang out again. She says she still wants me in her life but I've made it clear that I don't want to be her friend. I said let's start fresh and see where things take us without any expectations or labels. We've hung out twice both at her place and mine since the break up,


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What Girls Said 1

  • If you don't want to be her friend cut her off. If she ever comes around to wanting a relationship then good for you. If not she just wants to keep you in her back pocket until she's ready if she will ever be ready.

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