I don't know what to do anymore! Be direct, or give up?

I just so sick of having to try so damn hard. I know that things you want in life you have to work for, but I don't feel that applies here. I'm really into this guy and we are "dating" as in we were supposed to go on a date but things happened and we both got busy. Anyway we were talking at school for a while and we got really close one day but then he went away on vacation and when he came back it was like all that progress had just melted away. He knows I like him and I know he likes me. We are both shy but he's definitely the shyer of the two. I know he's interested in me and I don't think he lost interest but he's being distant all of a sudden. I don't want to play mind games anymore. I don't want to scare him off by being too direct but I just want to know what's going through his mind. Should I wait until he finally comes around, if he does, or should I just give up? OR should I talk to him myself and ask him what's going on with us? I know he's shy so I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable with that but I am already so stressed out and don't have time to deal with this nonsense.


Most Helpful Guy

  • theENFJ's advice is rather solid. Even a shy guy should have normal human thoughts and emotions. If you ask for a date and he is so shy and indecisive that you cannot get an answer out of him, then disregard him because he's wasting your time and he's either uninterested or absurdly immature -- or both.

    Most guys like forthright girls because it saves time from pointless, meandering mind games. The last girl I took on a date had already written her phone number down, but I asked her out before she gave it to me because we were giving each other obvious cues of attraction.
    If you're as forward as you seem to be, then he really has no excuse. Either he wants to date you or he doesn't.
    Yes or no, then the end.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Try to sit down and ask for a heart to heart conversation. Try and understand what might be going on.


What Girls Said 1

  • Ask him out again. If he says he's busy, tell him to find a time because you'd really like to hang out more. This puts him in a corner--he has to say yes, or tell you he's no longer interested. You'll get his feelings. But communication is ALWAYS key to a relationship.

    He might not realize he's playing mind games. He might be confused about how he's feeling. Give him a little space sometimes, and try not freak out every time he doesn't text back or what not. Good luck!