So I've just recently been played by another guy. I'm still pissed and humiliated by it and have cut all contact. The first time I ever got played, which was two years ago, I convinced myself that all players are soulless, heartless creatures. Now that guy is happily in love, so he must be human. Now that I am on the brink of losing faith in dating and in men altogether, I've come to understand why some people become players. Some do because they've been trampled on their entire lives and are really insecure. and end up building walls so that no one can ever hurt them again. I knew there was something wrong with him, but I didn't listen to my gut. My gut has never been wrong and this is the vibe that I am getting from this newest guy. My gut says that this is why this newest guy is a player. I know that trying to be with him would be stupid, cause then I'd only get hurt, and I'm not going to risk that. But I keep getting this nagging feeling that I should be the one to "fix" him, to tell him that he need not to be insecure. That he doesn't need to hide behind this whole charade of being "Mr. Amazing" just cause he's not happy with himself. I have my own insecurities too and have even considered playing with someone as a way to lash out and protect myself, but I know its wrong and have decided against it. I have a good heart and would like to see him succeed in life even though he just fucked me over. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling so mindfucked. How do I deal with this? Its confusing!! I am still new to relationships and dating, so I may be a little naive, but would greatly appreciate some insight!
Most Helpful Guy
Awwww. Poor thing :(. I probably have terrible advice, but I see nobody else answered your question and you seem like a sweet girl.
You might feel you need to "fix" him because of two reasons. The first is biologically you seem to have a nurturing feminine trait. This is actually something you're not alone in. There are plenty of girls who try to "fix" "broken" guys. The 2nd reason would be that again you seem like a really sweet person who wants to help people.
You need to find a guy who's not a player. Find a way to stay away from them. I know its hard because you want to help people, but I say just be friends with the players if you absolutely have to be with them. Then maybe you can slowly help them but not be in a relationship with them. The best thing I think you should do though is stay away from them and find a guy who will give you his whole heart and doesn't plan on breaking yours. :)0