Guys, online dating habits?

I've been trying online dating recently because it's difficult for me to meet men.

I met a couple of guys through online dating and found out that after when they meet me, I can see that they still go online and check out other girls. I've been seeing this guy for 2 times now and we are scheduling a third date tomorrow, but I see him online on the dating app.

My point is, it's not just him. All the guys I met online are doing that and it's not that they're not interested in me. Is it just a habit of keep on checking more girls out? When I see that, sometime my heart drops a bit.

Is it really that difficult to find a seriously relationship online?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. A lot of lonely, horny women use dating sites. These lonely women are easy. Dudes looking for an easy lay love to use dating sites to find a hookup.

    2. Until you and the guy are serious, there really isn't any harm and checking out what else is out there until the two of you become exclusive.

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What Guys Said 4

  • If you are not exclusive, it's actually a good idea for them to stay meeting more women.

    I can't tell you how many times guys go on dates with women and they just disappear. It's happened to me as well. They'll even act like you're hitting it off so great then suddenly no replies to any texts or anything.

    Just because he's on the app doesn't necessarily mean he's meeting more women either. He may have been talking to a girl before you two even met and such. 2 dates is nothing. Don't be surprised if it takes like 5+ to go exclusive. Just keep dating him if you feel it going somewhere or state it in your dating profile that you're an "exclusive dater" and hope someone takes note of that.

    Plus guys know these girls can have like 30+ messages in their inbox. One girl who was using match emailed me through craigslist and I managed to get a look at her Facebook and she was lining as many guys up as possible for dinner dates and bragging about it on her Facebook not realizing she had it set to public.

    Keep in mind many guys will go through a night or messaging because of the lack of replies they get. So they're gonna message many girls per night and hope one even replies. So he can have sent out a bunch and you got included and then someone replied back later.

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  • 1. You're not exclusive. You've been out twice. Some people don't even count the first meeting as a date any more, especially for online people since it' more of a 'okay, you're not going to kill me and wear my head as a hat' assessment

    2. Could it be that he's going back to look at your profile? To admire your pictures, read your bio and (if on OKC) your match questions to find out more about you so he knows things to ask about or what you don't like? I do that.

    3. You're not exclusive! You are already pissed off for no good reason at this guy (and other guys) over nothing and WE KNOW. We know you can pick any or no reason and dump us, so we're hedging our bets. We'd really like to keep seeing you, we'd really like for you to give us a chance, but we also know you owe us nothing (and vice versa) so until we become an official couple, sorry.

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  • First of all, we're all pretty much scum. Women see things differently than men ( the Mars/ Venus thing) so these guys honestly don't know what they are doing bothers you.
    Question, are you ready to commit to the one guy exclusively? After 2 or 3 dates? Unless he's thinking that you may be "the one" then he's not ready to quit looking. 3 dates are not going to have most men ready to hang up their dancing shoes.
    So, you gotta show him how it feels. go on and use that dating app yourself so he can see YOU active on it. Be casual if he brings it up. Let it lead to a conversation to decide if you're in a relationship or just dating till something better comes along.

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  • well you must be online to see them online... And you've seen more than one guy. Personally though I wouldn't go back on if I had another date with you lined up. Perhaps they think nothing serious will happen with you so they're keeping options open.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't know what dating site you're on, but I am currently dating a guy I met on tinder. We really hit it off, we had 3 dates and I was moving to another state for school so I wasn't sure what the verdict of that would be ( I go home alot). The point im making: I went back on tinder before I left for school just because I was curious if he was still active... I went on and it said he was active 6 minutes ago, and we were even texting at that time! (we texted everyday). So, I asked him what's going to happen when I leave for school and he said " I dont think anything can really happen" and so I basically said "peace out" but he sent me this whole big paragraph blah blah he didn't want to stop talking-whatever. So I finally left for school and we didn't talk for 4 days which was unusually b/c we talked every day for 2 months before that. So I was like whatever that was it. He ended up texting me on that 4th day and now we talk every 1-4 days for another 2 and a half months (currently). During this time, he dropped this text that said " You're the only tinder match I'm still talking to." BAM. There it is. I didn't push it, I let it go and I just was the amazing girl that I know I am. Clearly I beat out all of the other girls he was talking to because not only does that text say that he is only talking to me, but it also basically said hey, I was talking to a lot of other girls on tinder while talking to you, but only you're worth my time, no other girl was worth it. I just came back from a weekend with him. Dont get me wrong, it's still hard because we did meet on tinder so I always wonder and we're not exclusive but be confident and go with the flow. Guys are always afraid to make a commitment to a girl, but once he finds out all other girls do not even compare to you, then it'll be clear in his mind that he wants you and only you.

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    • We're in a similar situation. He told me he is talking to other girls and he's being honest about it. He doesn't know what he wants. However, I'm sure he likes me the most because he's been seeing me for the past 3 weekends. We text everyday. I don't know if he's seeing other girls but then we're not exclusive so I can't say anything. About the texting thing, I know how it feels. As we speak, he didn't reply my text since this afternoon. I hate this feeling but he asked me out tomorrow. Sometimes, I think he purposely not reply my text so soon.

      I think he is afraid to commit and plus, he doesn't know me enough to see if I'm the right person. I don't blame him. It depends I guess. This other guy I met on Tinder turns out to be a total jerk. Similar situation to yours I saw him on active after going on dates with me. I backed off a bit from him and he sent me paragraph and called me and ask me what's going on. But he also had another girl on the line! I stopped talking to that guy.

    • Yeah it seems like guys nowadays are scared to make commitments especially when there are so many options available to them now. Especially with my guy, since we are long distance it's even harder to figure this out. I know he does like me but lately it has been dropping off a bit. I finally called him out on and basically straight up told him I liked him and he apologized for being really cold and distant because he had strep and hasn't been in a very playful mood. But then I decided to go back on tinder because why not? We're not exclusive so I can see what is out there too and he is still active to who knows anymore. Just got to trust that if it is meant to be it'll be. He'll come around when he comes around if he thinks it is worth it. Guys just need time away from the situation to evaluate. Sometimes guys panic when they like a girl because they weren't expecting to be in this situation. Don't forget you can still see other guys too since you're not exclusive :) that's the fun

    • Actually, this guy I'm talking about asked me to be his girlfriend. He told me he wouldn't be using online dating anymore since you're now my girl. I didn't meet him on tinder. I met him on POF. I just checked today and he was online 2 hours ago and luckily, I can see that he went on to view my profile :) But ya, I'm having this insecurity and trust issue because of what I've been through in the past. Good luck to you though!

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