Am I a terrible person for doing this?

I've never really been good at picking up girls but over the summer I met a guy at a bar who was AMAZING with women and we became friends and he started teaching me how to become better with women. He basically told me that if takes lots of experience and practice and that the best way to do that is to just start with going on dates with women below your league that you would never normally even consider dating. The whole idea is that those women are less intimidating and I'll start learning how girls think.

So over the last few months I have been doing that and I've pretty much been taking advantage of girls who are not very attractive and kind of desperate. I'm not actually attracted to any of these girls so I usually go on 1-3 dates with them and then cut things off. I've only had sex with 2 of them so far and it wasn't even my idea. I'm not using these women for sex I'm just using them to get experience and get the right mindset and build confidence. And we also have fun on the dates so there is that.

But I've been getting away with so much crap like it makes me kind of sad that some of these women have so little self respect that they would let a guy get away with almost anything just to make him happy and make him stay.

I'm getting a lot better with girls but I can't help feeling like a huge asshole and a terrible person in general for using these girls.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah, you are. It's one thing to go on one date... another thing to go one three dates and have sex. They think you want them, truly, and you're just using them as test-runs. "Getting away with almost anything" isn't going to impress the girls you want to date who aren't desperate. Not only is this scheme ill-conceived, it hints at the lack of a moral compass.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Even if you say these girls are having fun, you are still using them. It sounds like you already know it's wrong because you feel bad about it. There are other ways to get to know girls without using them, like hang out with girls in groups, join activities with more girls in them, etc. In the long run, you'd be better off doing those things than what you are currently doing.

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    • How would I be better off? Girls are different in groups than when they are 1 on 1 with a guy who they see as a potential sexual partner. I do feel bad but not necessarily guilty.

    • Well, I thought you wanted to be better with women and by understanding women you hang out with them. Yes, you could hang out one on one but if you don't see them the way they see you, it's better not to lead them on.

  • You have already answered your own question. And your answer was correct.

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  • You shouldn't be using woman. You feel bad about it because you know that what you are doing is wrong. Stop doing it!!!

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  • You're just a dog, and I'm really sick of you honestly you discuss me. I hope one day you'll get exactly what you deserve. . Really a true piece of shit. You'll learn to stop being immature, and a dick and that guy only seems great with girls cause he's gay.. us women love the gays

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    • Woah relax there lady. They're just dates it's by like I'm leading these girls on for months or years. And I can assure you that my friend is not gay so you are very wrong about that. What you said doesn't even make sense because why would any normal girl go after a guy who is gay? Clearly you are not very smart.

    • He's "bi sexual".. He likes men and women. Ugh doesn't matter. Enjoy ur life living a lie

  • Usually when you feel bad about something it means it's wrong. Your conscious is trying to tell you something. You should start trying to talk to girls you're actually attracted to and interested in. You will get rejected a few times but you will meet girls who say yes. In order to succeed you must fail. Right now you're just practicing talking to girls you're not even attracted to so you're literally getting good at picking up women you don't even like. You're also making them feel like shit so it's a lose lose.

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  • Yeah you are terrible, buf if you realllly really plan on stopping this shit, then i dont think you're terrible, people make mistakes , just dont do them again

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    • Going on dates is fun though :)

    • Using people is not , so ok ur a terrible dude

  • This isn't right. Because dating below your league, means that those women were given a confidence boost and you practically used them to get with someone you find as 'worthy'.

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What Guys Said 6

  • As long as you make it clear that you're not looking for anything serious, there's no need to feel like an asshole. But you should never need to mislead a girl and trick her in order to get her to sleep with you. There are tons of girls out there who just want to hook up so using innocent girls and breaking their hearts isn't necessary.

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    • I mean the first few dates are never really that serious anyway right?

    • They can be for some girls... especially if they don't get much male attention.

  • You're becoming a user and you shouldn't do that. Dating a lot of girls is fine. Even girls you consider beneath your league. But leading girls on is messed up. You shouldn't do that. You feel like an asshole, because right now you're acting the part.

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  • Welcome to the fucked up reality that is basic human psychology.

    Hitler realized the same shit, just with everyone, and used it to HIS advantage to murder millions of people.

    "Right" is a subjective definition. Since you don't seem to enjoy it, why do it?

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  • You prob should feel bad about it. Finding a girlfriend doesn't have to be a game. Sounds like you just want to work on your skills to get girls in bed

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    • Yeah I'm not really looking for a girlfriend just looking to mess around but with hot girls

  • I don't see what's wrong with it. As you say, you're just going on dates. You're giving them a fun time. That's not committing to anything.

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  • It's called dating. That's what it's there for. These people saying you are wrong are out of their minds. He'll I have gotten dates because I was just bored. If you were using them in relationships that would be different, but it's just dating for Christ sakes. You are fine.

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