How long have you dated someone that you didn't see a future with?

How long have you dated someone that you didn't immediately have string feelings for? What was the reason you kept dating them?

  • I wanted to see if the relationship would grow into something more.
    Vote A
  • It was strictly a physical thing
    Vote B
  • I liked the attention
    Vote C
  • They kept me busy while I was waiting for something better
    Vote D
  • None of these, I'll list my reason below
    Vote E
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
*strong feelings for


Most Helpful Girl

  • I dated someone that I did not see a future with and did not have immediate feelings for because I felt like I was holding back and not allowing myself to feel anything which was true I was trying to get over my ex I did like the guy at first but on the other hand there just not anything there. We were tether for 8 months should have just been friends I was just comfortable over time it was never love. Very stupid of me I was in it for the wrong reasons and it was the biggest mistake of my life because he turned out to be a psycho and once I found that out I was terrified to leave him for a while. Lessons learned don't get into relationship for the wrong reasons, initial sparks and connection are important, rebound relationships don't work, and if something does not feel right and you can't figure out what it is, that's probably because you are being blind either open your eyes or run for the hills.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 7

  • I am gonna be totally honest with you. I have not dated someone if I didn't see any future. First date mostly I understand what I feel, and is this a potential relationship or what. Or max second date, I go out with him. If I still don't see any light coming there, I let it go. I don't push or fake or pretend.
    It is just not fair if you don't feel something I think. And it am not afraid of loneliness so I try to be honest as much as I can.

    • Show All
    • I don't go out with them. I can only go out maybe some, exceptions. If something happens bad at the first date, like I feel I need to give chance.

    • Wow, I'm impressed. Sometimes I've got to know if a "maybe" might just be a "hell yes" that I misjudged.

  • I'm unofficially with someone right now but my heart belongs to someone else. I'm just lonely and stressed out about the guy I really like.

    • Do you feel okay dating someone, but knowing your heart is with someone else? Some say you have to date / serial date (which should be called parallel date) and others say you should never date more than one person at the same time - or even date one person when your heart belongs to another. What do you think?

    • I think that at times like this i need to think about myself. I get sick when I'm too stressed out, so I'm supposed to avoid as much stress as possible. This is the only way for me to distract myself from the pain I would feel otherwise.

  • I dated a guy for over a year because I thought if I stayed with him longer I'd be happier. He kind of got me to be with him by saying "hey let's try it, nothing bad can come from it" and I kind of just didn't care at the time. Then he tried changing me and cheated on me since I didn't give him enough attention.

    • I wonder if the other "interested person" eventually drifting apart is a natural consequence of being in a relationship when you aren't completely interested. What do you think?

    • Show All
    • If we date someone, but are only half committed, because we are just looking to see if things will develop into something more, perhaps the person that we're dating eventually picks up on that and deals with it in their own way.

    • Well I kind of thought in that relationship that "Sure what do I have to lose" was the case. It just didn't work out, and you can't help that.

  • 2 year long abusive relationship.
    All I ever saw in our future was basically that but with kids involved, making it harder to leave him.
    I couldn't leave him because he threatened to kill himself everytime I did.

  • I didn't know how to break up with him without hurting his feelings.
    Now I'm older and wiser, I realise it hurt him more to be led on.

  • 2.5 months... wow some people made it a long time!

  • "String feelings for" and "didn't see a future with" are two different things.

    I had feelings for my high school boyfriend we dated for almost 4 years. I loved him then and always will he's a very special person to me, but I couldn't go on dating him any longer because he never aged. We started dating when I was 14 and he was 17 (but he acted like a 15 year old so it worked at the time) but he never grew up. It's like he was Peter Pan he stayed a 15 year old boy forever.

    At first I obviously didn't notice. I thought oh yeah boys just take longer to mature he'll grow out of it, but when I turned 17 I realized he wasn't going to change anytime soon. When you have to schedule classes for your 20 year old boyfriend and help HIM with his homework you know you've got a problem.

    I stayed for all of the reasons that you mentioned. I wanted to see if the relationship would grow and if he would age and change with me (I hoped he would.. maybe we'll reconnect when we're 30 and he'll have grown by then you never know), he was my first and also the best I've ever had as far as oral goes to date so yeah it was physical too, I liked the attention he gave me.. but slowly that started becoming less and less toward the end of our relationship we went from going on dates to me watching him play Dead Space, and he was my first love so I was afraid to leave until I knew I had found something better. At the time I figured it was better to stay with what I had than leave and have nothing.

    • We stayed together for about a year and a half after I realized he wasn't the one for me btw.

What Guys Said 3