In need of a second opinion please, what should I do?

About five years ago or so, I was talking to this guy who I met when I was in kindergarten online. We made plans to meet but eventually never did. Last year, I was back in town, so I emailed him to say hi somewhat randomly (after hearing that he told someone to tell me hello, of course) but he didn't seem that excited to hear from me but he gave me his number to call him anyway. I, in return, gave him my number and told him to call/text me if he wanted to but never tried contacting him after that. Almost a year later, with no contact whatsoever, this guy texts me completely out of the blue, insisting that we see each other face to face before the year is through. Now I am kind of unsure what to do and what it is that motivated him to do it. He claims he will show up this time around because he doesn't want to ask himself "what if". I am completely wary of him and I am kind of reluctant to meet up. As far as I'm concerned, he was probably bored shitless why he text me and all this means nothing. But on the other hand, I'm curious. This is a guy that I liked very much, in fact, I still kind of do and I'm convinced that no matter what I decide to do, I'm going to be one who will end up getting hurt all over again. What should I do? Any advice?

Updates:
This guy told me that he saw a friend of mine so he decided he to text me. So apparently, she reminded him of me so I doubt he was thinking about me before he saw her...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Um tell him you want no contact with him period. You sound like a quick and easy target for him on a rebound. Or better yet to trick you into sex. This will get a ton of down votes. Bring two guys friends with you. They do not have to be visable to him. Meet at a restaurant you know is busy. Go Dutch do nothing to imply that you owe him anything after meeting. I would also have your guy friend's sit close enough to over hear the conversation so the can listen for key words that might indicate he is just playing or tricking you into something.

    Not having meet the guy before and it taking this long just seems very weird to me. And why would he leave you hanging on the first meeting.

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    • He suggested we hang out but never made formal plans to. Getting friends to tag along on our date just seems like too much work for someone who isn't even worth my time. I'd rather not go at all. But I agree with everything you said though, no down votes here!

What Guys Said 13

  • Kindergarten?

    My advice is to go meet him. Have a safety plan in place, but at least meet and see if there's anything between you two.

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    • Lol, yes Kindergarten. We met there and were classmates until the sixth grade... What do you mean by "safety plan"?

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    • safety plan, if he doesn't like you/rejects you, you can still do something else to keep the value of the day up.
      better said.. meet another person that day if something doesn't work as planned.

    • Ok, got it! Will do! Thanks...

  • What you share is childhood memories. It's been 15-20 years. You and he are no longer the same two people so it will be sort of like a blind date. Just sayin'

    That said, there are people from my childhood that I would just love to meet up with again and see if we could rekindle a relationship. So I for one would go for it. . . but cautiously.

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  • He sounds like he's had something happen, maybe lost out on something he wanted and thought of u. He seems like he doesn't want to lose something else he's realised he has feelings for. Give it a shot ho in to it with eyes open and don't expect anything but u might get something u wanted for a long time.

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  • If ir suspicious, avoid

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  • Of course you should meet him. You are judging him that he is shitless even though you haven't met him! That's wrong. Meet at least once before assuming things. What could go wrong? Perhaps an awkward date where he is trying to get you? So what then? Even that is not for sure. If you do have some time for him, definitely go for it.

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  • Forget that he sow your friend. In my opinion sometimes is better get hurt for trying on love than just stay waiting for the save situations. Probably the guy just want sex or play around with u, but at least go meet him and find out for yourself. Give him/yourself/love a chance 8)

    & be happy

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  • One way to find out. Sounds like you won't feel the matter is settled unless you know for sure. Meet somewhere public, like a restaurant.

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  • You were in love with him in kindergarten? Bahahaha!!! Dude... Move on. Get a job. Get a life. And forget this guy. I text girls when I'm horny and/or drunk all the time.

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    • Lol, we met in kindergarten, the love came later on in life, five years ago to be precise...

    • " . . . who I met when I was in kindergarten online."

      So she was online in Kindergarten?

    • Lol, ok I get it, it was a poorly constructed sentence, my bad! So here we go, "About five years ago or so, I was talking to this guy online who I met when I was in kindergarten". Any clearer now? lol

  • Meet him in a public place; watch and listen carefully not to what he is saying but to what he is not saying. Take your time; time is YOUR best friend. Your a smart girl follow your heart.

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  • people change over time, if you are interested go test it out.

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  • Bring a guy friend that you trust with you to meet him. A brother, or someone close. Just in case.

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  • WHAT THE HELL IS THIS LOVE STORY? It sounds a little freaky to me. But i would say trust your gut.

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  • Just be safe and meet him

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What Girls Said 21

  • It sounds like being it was this "Online" Ordeal, a "He said, she said" and nobody really bothered with numbers or notices after that. Yes, your Email was a positive note in my book but perhaps he didn't seem to take it that it was much of a sign for anything but A------Hi somewhat randomly. He may have gotten discouraged.
    I am feeling there may have been a bit of a misunderstanding somewhere along the line, a communication gap. And coming out of the woodwork, just 'Out of the blue' like this, is telling me he is giving you a second thought, wanting a second shot again. And with his wondering, maybe it has always been eating at him with the "What if," something else may be tugging at his heart strings to 'Show up this time.'
    You may be this Curious George yourself in finding out for yourself if this is some sort of Fate. Tell him you will agree to meet up but please don't be late, you say, for a minute longer, you will think he is not coming and when you snooze, you lose.
    Take a chance but be on your guard. Don't be so quick to wear your heart on your sleeve until you are sure it is something or someone worth grabbing the cat by the tail for.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Thanks, I would have agreed with you completely, except he said that he decided to text me after seeing a friend of mine. So I'm not so sure that he is thinking of me...

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    • No, I think you've got it all wrong. He decided to text me after seeing a friend of mine, meaning she reminded him of me. This would also mean that he wasn't thinking of me before seeing her...

    • Ohh, sorry, my bad... Yes, I see what you mean... I have it now... yes, seems something that maybe you would have second thoughts about. xx

  • Do you believe in fate? The Universe speaks to us in whispers before giving us the brick wall. You've been hearing it (off and on) since Kindergarten! And well, (slow as man may be, lol) he's FINALLY hearing it now too! So its time for the two of you to meet. Just do so in a public place if you're still feeling uneasy about it. If you choose not to meet him, it could be several lifetimes before given the chance at meeting what very well could be your soul mate. So go meet him cuz remember, "regret for the things we did can be tempered with time. It is regret for the things we did not do that's inconsolable!" - Sydney J. Harris

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    • I have a hard time believing it's fate when he said he saw a friend of mine and decided to text me. I think its boredom honestly. But most people on here and my friends suggest I still see him. I think fate would have allowed him to contact me a long time ago or see me the first time we decided to meet up or at least contact me on his own volition instead of when he saw my friend. I'm so confused... Great quote btw!

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    • I don't think that's petty at all. Motivation = intent and intent decides whether I'm being used purely for his entertainment or not. I'm sorry but I don't want to be an option to him and respond at his every beck and call. I really believe I deserve way more than that...

    • Im not suggesting you allow yourself to be used or cater to his every whim. Just meet the guy. Hard to say what he might have had going on previously. At least meet him and go from there.

  • It sounds like he just recently got out of relationship. My advice is if you really like him then go see him. But make sure you're the one setting everything up (time, place, etc) and make sure it's not a night meet up. Have a brunch/lunch type of meet up in an open busy setting. Hope everything goes well!

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  • That's an odd situation... Have like a safety plan incase he turns out to have ulterior motives. So meet in a public place (preferably one with lots of people around), tell people you're going to meet up with him (when and where), and just make sure you be safe because people can change over time as I'm sure you're aware!
    I would say meet up with him. It's odd that he just kind of let it hang for a few years, but if he's up for it, why not? You have nothing to lose!

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  • A long time has past you are not same people obv but if he wasn't interested and suddenly is, knowing men he has probably became single and his x may know about you and he is looking to make her jealous, he genuinely thinks what if but very unlikely. I would go meet him but dont be swayed by what he says and dont rush in

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    • Ok but what would be the point in meeting up then knowing this? What good does it do me? I have the same feelings too. But if he's not interested now, chances are, he won't ever be...

    • Maybe he just looking for a bit company and knows your interested so your easy bate

    • Exactly! And going out with him would confirm that. I don't want that! Chances are, I do it this time , then he disappears again, then the next time he's bored, he contacts me. And around and around we go until he decides to stop. I can't be that woman a man calls when he needs to pass the time. I won't do it! I'd rather forget about it, as much as I would want to, and work on getting over him...

  • He maybe had a girlfriend when you came back in town and was not interested the first time. Just give it a shot and see what happens. But if he blows you off again just leave it be.

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  • Follow your instincts. You can sense that you're going to get hurt - why follow through? Let this one go.

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  • I say meet him, either it will go well or not, i bet you will regrett it if you dont meet him, so better to meet him and get it over with and see if there is anything between you two, or httpdont meet him and always think what if..
    so meet him but dont have high expectations :)
    help me plz?
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1205316-am-i-over-anaylsing-this-situation-or-is-this-a-lost-case-could-use

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  • something very similar happened to me twice except not kindergarten, class 5, rest is the same story... not that I liked both of them but I was curious and kind of afraid of getting hurt but I tried it anyway, I did ensure my safety by taking stuff like pepper spray n it was useful on one while the second guy is my bf now! so ensure ur safety and I say go for it.
    :)

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  • Meet him if you feel your curiosity gets the better of you but nothing might come out of it. He seems indecisive and flakey.

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  • Meet him! What could it hurt? Just do it in a public area to ensure moat safety! Goodluck! !!

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  • Meet but you need a safety plan definatly.

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  • You should just go on a casual date and give it a try... See how it goes. Even if it's not officially a 'date', it's worth a try. I'm sure it will be find, since you've known him for ages

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  • say you will hang out with him and try to but don't put in too much effort to hang out cause if he doesn't put in more effort then you he doesn't really want to.

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  • You should go meet him and if it makes you feel any better maybe bring a friend with you. ❤

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  • So have you arranged to meet him before, and you showed up, but he didnt?

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  • meet him but in a public place if u can u never know what might happen

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  • go met him go for a coffee or whatever you have to catch up.

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  • He do sound not so interested with you but I think you should meet him, it's been that long and just to clarify the "what ifs". I would agree with the other guys here and have a safe plan and meet him in public places.

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  • I was in a simliar situation although it wasn't quite as long as you. He would tell me how he wanted to see me and then i'd go long periods of time never hearing from him again. He was the guy I lost my virginity to so I had been the one who is more attached. After finally deciding to cut off contact with him and years of him randomly saying he wanted to see me and me getting feels for him all over again i realized that it was when he wasn't seeing someone or when he was bored or reasons like that. Although are situations are a little different it sounds to me that your'e in the same boat as i was. I would still regardless of that say if he continues to reach out to you and stays admit to see you then you should meet up with him. After all you owe it to yourself after all this time although go in with a right mindset. Be open to possibilities but don't put too much into it because the more you work yourself up over it the harder it will be for you in the end if things don't work out as you hoped/expected.

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