Confused as to why I'm getting cut off after first dates?

This happens pretty frequently where a girl will be really interested in me and then completely lose it after the first date.

The first time it happened, this girl from my class made the first moves on me, adding me on fb, chatting me up and asking if we could meet up for lunch sometime. I thought she was alright so I obliged and took her out. We met up, talked about some stuff, and then I took her back to her place. Never heard from her again. Didn't think much of it because I wasn't really into the date.

The second time, it was a girl I met on Tinder. We were really hitting it up by text, we both thought the other was cute, so she was instantly down for a date the following week. We texted and snapchatted every day, most of the time she started the convos. When we finally met up I took her for sushi and then a walk down the waterfront. Talked about stuff, I was actually into it so I made her laugh a few times, and we shared some life stories. She texted me after saying thanks and that she had a fun time. Not responding to any of my texts anymore.

Now it may be of note that I didn't make any real intimate moves on them, could that be why? On the other hand I tend to try to avoid awkward silences by talking a lot, so did they get the impression that I talk too much? I always make sure to ask her things about her life and put the spotlight on her so that I'm not talking all the time, but I find that they always run out of things to say and I still have too much haha :P I'm not boring I don't think, I find it easy to make people laugh and I have stories of travel, extreme sports and just random funny stuff. I always pay for the dates, hold the doors and walk them back. I'm not ugly in person because I've been told to my face many times by girls (not just my mommy...) that I'm attractive.

Any clues as to what I'm doing wrong? I'm thoroughly confused here.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • A women has never come home from a date complaining that she talked about herself too much!. If you talk a lot about youself, you can come across as self-centred and arrogant. If you start to feel nervous, and start talking too much, start asking her questions. About college, work, her dreams, goals in life etc. You should only be talking for one third of the conversation, leaving the remaining time for her. Good luck dating!

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    • What if the girl doesn't talk much, even if you ask her about herself and does nothing to further the conversation?

    • @bloodmountain1990 you need to ask open ended question? E. g. If you could travel the world where would you go and why? Are you a cat person or dog person and why? If you got lost on an island and could only take 3 personal things ( emergency supplies and food, shelter have been supplied) what would you take and why?

What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe they think your not interested in them than more than a friend.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I know how you feel man, I feel like I'm going through a revolving door of dates/women and it's nothing to brag about especially when you want a relationship and it goes nowhere near that. The closest I've felt to a relationship, I ended up being used as a rebound/ego boost. This girl was all over me and begged for my attention but as soon as I showed interest back, she acted like I was being clingy and desperate which was a bunch of fucking bullshit.

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