I dont know if he likes me or he's keeping me as one of his options?

We met online 2 weeks ago. we text and he calls me. We had our first date after two weeks texting and calling. We had dinner at a restaurant and talked and laughed and even mentioned places I've never been and told me that he'll take me we disnt kiss but he held my hand. And after our date. He told me that he'll visit me in my place but never mentioned when. now its been 4 days since our first date and i just heard from him just twice and didn't had a long conversation. But he's the one who texts first. He'll just text me "my big baby" or "hi baby" just stuffs like that. So i'll reply saying how was his day? Stuffs like that... And wait for his reply for loooong hours.

What does this mean? Does he not like me? Or keeping me as one of his options? Cause he still texts me sometimes... What should i do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is really, really early in a relationship. It's not necessarily a case of keeping you an option at this point, it's probably too early even for that kind of thought. This is in the stage right after 'the pursuit worked', which is when they guy has to make some decisions about moving to the next stage.

    He could be totally into the idea, but wants to figure out the pacing. Or he has things to do during the day... even committed long term relationships can have cases where they don't talk every day. So he is possibly trying to establish a precedent for 'we don't need to talk every day' before you become too accustomed to it, since it seems you are already expecting that despite only knowing the guys for two weeks.

    Basically, it's way too early to be hitting a panic button. You need to take some time for yourself and make sure you are not putting too much pressure on this relationship.

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    • Thanks for your advice! I guess i just used to him texting me everyday. I'll calm down and give him time to think. :)

      One thing is, he said he wants to meet again but he's not making any effort to see me. He wants me to visit him again and stay at his place, but i think its too early for that kind of date.

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    • its almost been a week. sionmce she wants to know i think she should ask him out for next week. if he's not interested move on. lives short. why waist time getting hung up on someone wgho doesn't want what you want.. was lready know he doesn't like texting or communicating on a level she's comfortable with. so far she's doing the compromising. and all they id was meet on line. and i dont think its a coincidence that she feels she might be being used. asking him out OR having an adult discussion.. would clear that up.

      they met on line so ostensibly he knew what he was going there for. shouldn't be any big shock to him that she's interested,.

      communicating and letting it be isn't putting pressure on him., its taking pressure of the unknown.

    • I'm not saying she shouldn't send a text after four days of silence. I'm saying there shouldn't be a panic if it takes him a couple of hours to respond. Stuff like: "So i'll reply saying how was his day? Stuffs like that... And wait for his reply for loooong hours." is not necessarily an indication that he is putting her into a 'side girl' category. She has heard from him twice in the four days, so it hasn't been four days of silence. That would definitely be cause for a 'hey, how's it going?' text. For sure.

      I'm saying not to panic, but to be cautious. He is showing some warning signs, but nothing that says he is not interested. Yet. But it is trending that way. By not panic I mean not to assume that he is not interested. If she wants a more definitive conversation then by all means she should have it. As long as it is approached with an angle of curiosity and a desire to clarify, and not approached with a 'you didn't message so you hate me' angle. Which I have seen.

What Guys Said 1

  • Wait.. its only been two weeks... things are still being considered/classified/categorized. be patient. just because you are free to think about it, doesn't mean he is. give it time, or you can ruin it now by thinking too much. when he is ready, he'll contact..(like always)

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    • You think so? maybe i got used to him texting me everyday.
      And now he barely texts and barely reply to my texts.
      Thanks for your advice!

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    • Yea. Thats what my friend told me that i could be his option which sucks bad! Cause i think i like him. And i was expecting that he'll ask me out again.

    • you can always take control of the situation... but I'm not putting that out here. (though i believe some people know a bit about it already)

What Girls Said 1

  • it is only 4 days ago, just try to be patient. Im sure he likes you.. but just wait.. Maybe he's just busy you know.. I wish the best for you but try to be positive! let me know, good luck!

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    • Thanks for your advice. I'll be patient and will wait for his reply.

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    • Aawww! Thank u so much! :D
      i'd tell him to pay me a visit and will tell him that its too early too stay in his place. we'll see what he has to say.

      So how about you? How long have you known him?

    • send me a private message okay? :)

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