Want to clarify some things with someone I've been hooking up with but not sure how to phrase it?

I’m a university freshman and there is this senior that I really like. Personality wise he is exactly my type and I am crushing so hard on him. Thought it was impossible but recently, there has been a string of parties at which he’s been kissing me and we’ve been dancing together and making out quite a bit. We also talk quite a bit outside of these parties, chatting practically every day about a range of things. Recently, I told him that the hook ups for me meant something because I really liked him in many ways, and he said he also really liked me too but at the moment “just wants to have fun” because he just came out of a 3 year relationship this summer. This actually made me feel quite down because it felt like a flat out rejection and like he’s just using me to have fun, yet the hook ups continue. Chatting so often has made us quite good friends I’d say but he never asks me to do something (e. g. grab a coffee) outside of these parties. Now, I’m utterly conflicted on what to do. I enjoy hooking up with him and don’t want to be the obsessive girl that starts mentioning more serious things when he clearly stated he just wants some time to have fun and not be too committed. But damn, I really like him in more than a hooking up way. I want to clarify two things with him:

1) I want him to realise that although I’m all up for having fun and not expecting much seriousness at the moment, I like him enough to hope that he can take me serious – I’m really not some easy, slutty girl who throws myself at this same guy every night; it’s only happening because I really like him.
2) I want his honest thoughts: Am I just some girl for him to have fun with and nothing more (except maybe some level of friendship), or is he taking it easy at the moment and just waiting to see whether it could become something more. Need to know this too because personally I want the latter but if he has 100% ruled that I need to start getting over him.

How can I ask this is a casual manner?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You're saying two things at once. He wants things to remain exactly where they are outside of the hooking up... but likely wants the 'hooking up' to include sex (if it doesn't already).

    There's nothing for you or him to explain. He's telling you exactly what he wants.

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