Guys always suggest coffee dates.. but I don't like coffee.

This might be a stupid question but I have another coffee date coming up this weekend.. I totally understand why guys suggest it. Thing is I don't like coffee & caffeine affects me very badly (I have hyperthyroidism and my Dr told me to avoid it). I've been on 3 coffee dates in the past few months and each time I can't sleep the whole night after! Would it look rude if I suggested something else for this next one?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think it wold be rude I actually say grab a smoothie since I usually go for the more fit looking girls. The general idea is to grab something to eat/drink on a one to one basis, if I were to simply say drink it could be anything and anywhere, many girls would then interpret that to different ideas and to what the guy is really asking for. By saying coffee it could just be a small hangout in order to know the other person better in a setting that would be more open, chill and a public place that could be more relaxing and have the other person be more open on their thoughts, feelings and intentions. This would be the make or break in some situations, it;s usually a go to idea rather than a date where the intentions are very clear or not in some cases and amount of effort in a date and just a "hangout" is starkly different.

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What Guys Said 10

  • if he suggests a coffee date then agree to it but then change the setting to something of your liking that you think he wouldn't mind either. or just order something that isn't coffee? :D or just ask him if you two can go somewhere else, im sure he won't mind not getting coffee. its not rude.

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  • Nope, just explain the reason (that it's medical), and make a concrete suggestion for something else you can do.
    By making a new concrete suggestion you make it clear you're not just excusing yourself, on the same time as you give him a headstart for planning the event. As for the medical reason, any guy with any sense would accept that if you're sincere.

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  • Get... decaf? Or get any other drink. "coffee" is shorthand for 'lets go to a cafe and have a non-alcoholic beverage and chat'.

    You don't even have to explain why you're not getting coffee

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  • Propose an alternative when asked, like going out for frozen yogurt. If the weather is nice enough where you live, eat at a table outside.

    With winter around the corner, maybe bakeries are better.

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  • Starbucks and most other coffee places sell other stuff: lemonade, smoothies, etc.

    It's more about having a public place to sit that won't be too noisy, won't get you drunk and where you can stay for a while without the staff telling you to buy more stuff or get out. If you can think of one of those, suggest it.

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  • hahahahah you could let the guy know that you have this problem. or you could order something that isn't coffee... I've never heard of a coffee shop that serves ONLY coffee. they offer a variety of assortments that you can pick that isn't coffee.

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  • it's just for the namesake, you don't have to be a caffeine drinker, just order some milkshake, i go to a pub on a date and mostly drink a soda

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  • Coffee shops also sell a variety of teas and hot chocolate.

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  • It isn't rude at all. And even if you go to a coffee house you don't have to drink coffee you know.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Unless you go a coffee shop that ONLY sells coffee (which I have yet to see in my lifetime of being dragged to fancy coffee shops by friends), you just order something else. I don't think guys ask you out for the sole purpose of seeing you gulp down a caffeinated beverage.

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  • He'll be okay with you changing the location as long as you say yes. It's not like he's going out for that marvelous coffee, he's going out to spend time with you.

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  • i have a hyper-sensitivity to caffeine and have to avoid it at all costs. i was also told by doctors to avoid cocaine, strenuous exercise and sex but... anyways back to caffeine. just order a smoothie or hot COCO ♥︎

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  • No it wouldn't look rude just say caffein makes you sick or your doctor told you to stay away from it. If it were me and I didn't love coffee I'd just say smoothies instead. Same idea I would think.

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  • Get tea, water, or cocoa instead. Just suggest something else, you're allowed to do that.

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  • Then get some green tea instead

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  • Why don't you just get tea or some other hot beverage then? Also, I don't think it would be too rude if you explained why you don't want coffee. It's understandable enough. If he gets offended he's not worth your time.

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