Can a girl ask a guy out on a date?

Sorry this is so long!!

I like this guy that I work with, same company but different areas of work, it is well known across the company that he likes another girl that works with me behind the bar, but she has a boyfriend and he has admitted to me that he no longer wants to be with her or see her but he can't help having fallen for her and if she texts him he starts liking her again, and she does nothing to stop this, she's stringing him along.
Anyway we all went on a staff night out and we were drunk, I was talking to this guy at the bar just he and I and was basically telling him that he's a mug for liking her when she's stringing him along and he agreed and said that he can't help who he's fallen for... The same night she saw us talking and took me into the toilets and told me never to talk to him again because he and her are in a situation that although she has a boyfriend she wants to be with him etc. I ended up staying that night at the guys house in his bed (strictly PG - no cuddles or anything!!), and she went mental the next day at him...

She recently broke up with her boyfriend, according to some people "to be with him", and now they're starting to see each other more (more than they already were before!) and are apparently bf and gf now!

I tried to snapchat him the other day saying hey, and he opened but didn't reply. Now at work he's being super blunt and not joking around like he normally does with me... And I just get so upset!!

I'm starting to like this guy, and I really want him to see me as a potential date-- what should I do? I don't know how to talk to him without coming across as needy or desperate and people around us know that I like him. Can I ask this guy on a date? I wanted to say something like "It's a shame, I would have liked to get to know you better"

  • Yes - say "It's a shame, I would have liked to get to know you better - maybe we could go for a few drinks?"
    75% (3)20% (2)36% (5)Vote
  • Yes - just outright ask him on a date
    25% (1)40% (4)36% (5)Vote
  • No - it's awkward and cringe-worthy
    0% (0)10% (1)7% (1)Vote
  • No - you'll only get yourself hurt
    0% (0)30% (3)21% (3)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Girls can totally ask guys on dates! But a big factor is that he's um... taken or whatever you call that. If that's how she treated her ex, then imagine how she'd treat the new guy. If she breaks his heart, you'll be there to pick up the pieces. If that's not how it works out, then: HE'S NOT WORTH IT! You can be friends with him until his "girlfriend" gets ticked or something. Does he even REALLY know this girl?

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    • Only downside is he won't speak to me lately and I think it's because of her :(

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    • Oh. That makes thing more complicated. Do you have any way of contacting him?

    • Only through Facebook but the last couple of times he hasn't replied, albeit they werent exactly interesting messages to reply to!

What Guys Said 4

  • This was well worth my time to see. Should you ask him out? I am sorry but the answer is no. Why? Well basically he has fallen for another girl and pursued her and he got what he wanted. thats it. Your not in his love match interest. He wasn't pursuing you, he was after that girl that work at the bar, am I right? Okay so here you are coming along trying to change his love interest cause you liked him. Let me remind you, he saw oppertunity and she did too and made it work. Now they are together you can't change that, if so you will come off a despite. You Already made that girl upset and now the guy loves that girl he's not going attend to you cause he got someone already.

    What to do? Be polite, do to him the same thing he do to you. If refuse your texts then it's best to give them there space. Or else the couple will be at your throat like when that girl talked to you in bathroom. If he slowly stops talking to you. Again be polite and excuse the friendship and let him be. Leave him alone. It's sad, it may hurt, and it may bother you in all but it's best to know future signs of rejections than to waste your time with him and be rejected.

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  • I voted D, but the Question and it's poll are very different.

    Can women ask guys on dates? Hell yeah they can.

    Should you ask this particular guy out? No, he seems like a total ass, to be brutally honest.
    And so does she, actually.
    He pesters a taken girl and she didn't seem too sure who she wanted for a while. If she was worth dating she would have finished the first relationship before pursuing the second.
    As for the guy, he already knows you and that you were interested, and despite this, he picked her - he's not interested in you. Find someone who wants you first, don't just be this guys second best.

    It's a mean or disheartening post, I know, but your story just got me really involved.

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    • Completley agree with you

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    • I assumed interest between you two was insinuated due to some rather unusual 'platonic' behaviour.

      "I was talking to this guy at the bar just he and I and was basically telling him that he's a mug for liking her when she's stringing him along and he agreed and said that he can't help who he's fallen for..."
      Is not the sort of conversation I would have with a purely platonic friend. That's really weird. Platonic friends do not inquire into the specifics of who I am or am not interested in.
      "I ended up staying that night at the guys house in his bed"
      Oh, because that can only be platonic. Why were you even at this guys place over night? Why didn't you sleep on the couch or something?

      Perhaps you don't mean it that way, but from a 1,000 character anecdote, this is the impression I get. I imagine everyone reading feels the same way.

    • I know it sounds really strange when you put it that way! :'), but honestly we've had a few conversations and you know what it's like when drunk, you just spill your mind?

      As for staying in his bed it was a simple case of two people either side of the bed! Plus there were two of our other work friends in the same room in another bed!

      I don't think he thinks I'm interested in that way, but I mean we used to talk on fb chat a little I mean, basically we'd ask what each other is doing that night he once asked me to come over to his house and stay in his bed before he got attached to this other girl! There was another time we were talking about our plans and he was out and asked if I drove and could I pick him up, but I couldnt! But I asked him the other night where was he whilst I was drunk and he read and didn't respond? As a guy what would that mean if you were to do that?

  • OF COURSE SHE CAN!!!

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  • i didn't read it but in short - yes. takes a lot of confidence though for a girl

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes girls can ask guys out on dates. I've done it a couple of times.

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  • There's nothing to do at this point.
    He chose that girl and they're a couple now.
    I'm sorry, but it's not the time to pursue him.

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    • He didn't have the option before though!

    • I understand, but he's made the choice to be with her.
      He's a taken man now, and you wouldn't want a woman pursuing YOUR man, so I think you should respect the relationship he's in now by not pursuing him.
      When he's single, THEN you should pursue again if you're still interested.

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