Its strange but I don't find guys interesting anymore? Is it a phase or something permanent?

I just broke up with a guy 3 weeks ago (actually he rejected me after we were friends for ages, after he fell for me and kissed me but somehow didn't want to commit). Its not the first time a guy doesn't want me. I am a beautiful girl, with a nice personality, goofy and fun but extremely easy going. However, this is what people see on the outside. On the inside, constant rejection has rotted away at my self-esteem. So much so that even when I have to consider a guy, I just don't feel it or don't want anything. I wonder if I will always be so put off men? I guess the last guy was a real blow to my identity since I felt this was the real deal and for the first time I trusted him and gave a part of myself. He wasn't a bad guy, just didn't love me enough. They never do, I receive a lot of male attention and often from the good guys but they just never want anything substantial. Of course I would realise I am just not good enough and this time I really gave up, I don't have a nice image of love or happiness anymore. Its like I am waiting for my parents to find someone for me and I can settle down with anyone. I have given up beyond repair but it surprises me that I don't even find guys attractive anymore. Perhaps I don't dare to? Thanks for any advice or insight!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • its normal feeling... i loved one girl before and i broke with her then i feel like i don't want any girls. then i fall in love with someone... so don't worry . you will love someone in the future

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    • I'm glad you found someone :)

    • haha thank you but she broke with me (^_^)
      cause she live too faraway from me... what a stupid reason only 12 hours away from me

What Guys Said 3

  • To me it seems like u put too much focus of ur self worth, on the approval of men.

    Focus on your positive attributes outside of dating, to boost ur self esteem back up again.

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    • Wouldn't even the most confident person develop low self esteem if no one thinks they are worthy of a commitment or love? But I'm working on exactly that, my self esteem is fine in other areas of my life. I am a great friend, have a successful career and am fashionable and well groomed. Its just this one area, a nasty wound I don't know how to heal or be numb to.

  • You are either going through a phase or it's not just guys you may have an attraction to. I'm not saying this to be mean, I was raised by a homophobic dad for 14 years and I fooled myself so much I thought I was straight until earlier last year when I finally came out about me being bi.

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    • I have no problem with that, trust me. I'm not gay, although I knew that suggestion would come up. I just mean I've become numb to feeling anything because I've been rejected so much that there is nothing left to chip away at. I'm just over the edge so to speak, that no guy could even want me. And I'm proud of you, I can only imagine what all you struggled with internally.

    • Thanks and the whole over the edge feeling I get, that would be stage 1 of what I am going through, (depression, not the straight to bi thing) so far it's only gotton worse, maybe one day it'll all work out, it's tough and I'm personally at the point of having chest pains from anxiety and stress. I hope you get better long before that, I hope you have really good friends to talk to and that care for you.

  • It makes sad reading stuff like this, and I wanna fix u and make u whole again!

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    • Ahh thanks :)! I'm a strong girl, I can live but I want to stop hurting. I wish I was strong enough to not be so sad about never finding love. Oh well, at least now I know I never will. My only wish now is that no one goes through what I have, but then again... I am surrounded by lucky people thankfully, will always be happy for their happiness

    • I think ur wrong.. and I think u should message me if. But that's *my* opinion :)

    • Wrong about :)? If its about not finding love, I've tried.. i've given up. But somehow its the same vicious cycle. If you get up and are pushed down every time, you will be too tired at one point to even stand up. I've consulted friends, people and tried to change things about myself or be more aware the signs that a guy doesn't think I'm worthy. But its hard to tell, I've always been the rule and never the exception. I'll always be rejected when it comes to a serious commitment and I have never wanted to settle for less (unless when I was just dating and things didn't go further). But I wish I could say, I hope you're right... but I've been hearing those things for years. I'm always the single friend (the one no one understands why since I seem so great.. but probably am not). I look confident too, which I used to be. Now.. nothing... just a bit of a shock that I am so perfect at not getting a boyfriend. It hurts me every day since the past 3 weeks. Thats all I wish to numb or hide

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