Why do women drop really subtle hints and then expects guys to pick them up or understand them?

I never understood why girls make subtle hints when everything would be a lot simpler if you just came out and say what they want. I also understand guys have their own ways of lacking communication, but from a guy's point of view I don't get women.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • maybe you just don't understand hints, but other guys do. there are men who are in relationships, have wives, gfs and fwbs so maybe its you who doesn't understand. why not just pay attention to womens body language? its not hard to tell when someone likes you

    sorry but im not gonna just walk up to some guy and say "hi im attracted to you" wtf

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    • It's not really that easy. Some women claim that a look can be a hint. Thing is, most guys dont pick up on this. When some women think that they are obvious, we won't even notice because we dont really know what to look for.

    • What is the purpose of hints though. Why not just say it.

What Girls Said 10

  • Because for us those hints we give are as subtle as an elephant in a crowded room and obviously we don't want to just go out and spell it even more clearer for you and risk a flat rejection. Because, unlike most guys, rejection is the end of world for us and strangely we always expect it.

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  • Fair enough.. I'm always straight forward in what I want because I hate beating around the bush.. I think we just do it so guys get that hint, but we don't want to make the first move, that's why we leave hints so that you guys hopefully get the idea.. But that hardly ever seems to work..

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  • Because they don't understand that most guys don't get hints.

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  • Amen! We send so many confusing signals even we can't figure it out.
    LLOL!
    Just try to not take us at our every word.
    C'mon you guys are not exactly pillars of information.

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  • Well for me, I'll usually tell them if they ask... but if they don't, ill usually drop 'subtle' hints like you said ONLY because I feel like I'm already super obvious.. I suck at have a 'poker face' in my actions and stuff like staring when it comes to someone I like, lol. So I feel as if they already know and I don't need to say much..

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  • simply because girls want to feel be loved or be needed "naturally "
    not ask for.
    ask for something and something people gives to you is different feeling. s
    even the something is same

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  • Because we don't want to be rejected - if we said what we wanted then we would be easy and the chase would be over and you would go after another girl who played games and kept you guessing... isn't that how men work? We don't understand you either!

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  • were complicated hahaa

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  • So do men.
    Because women read other womens articles, that say look at a guy and he'll want to come over.
    And men read other mens articles that say if a woman "points her body" at you she's into you.

    People should just stop reading the same sex pretend to be experts on the opposite sex, it doesn't work.
    Besides, I've seen women drop huge hints only for the guy to remain oblivious.

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  • Well... The funny thing is, I always thought guys didn't get hints much. But the guy I'm dating now is very good at picking up on hints.

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    • But I also go out of my way to communicate clearly and simply when it comes to the important issues and concerns in our relationship. Just because he tends to be good at picking up on hints doesn't mean that I should just use hints for the big stuff.

What Guys Said 4

  • You know what's funny? From my observations here on GaG, the hints girls use intentionally to get a guy's interrest does not work. Furthermore it's almost the same stuff guys do without really thinking about it, and even then girls doesn't seem to get the hint.
    Hence my conclusion is that girls use hints they seem to be unable to get themselves (because when guys do it, girls don't get it), but expects guys to pick them up.
    Also it seems like said hints just leaves the guy wondering. You don't get him to ask by making him wonder, especially not if he's a "shy guy". he needs to KNOW!

    Just my observation, and i'm speaking gnerally here

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    • I think that's because from a girl's pov, a guy is not supposed to play coy and give hints. That's the problem with shy guys who expect girls to pursue them... not that eventually someone won't, but it may take a long, long time before the girl even suspects you may just be a shy guy.
      And we also need to find out if you're just interested or actually really like us, which is quite different, so we tend to downplay the interest level you may show or not until we find bigger evidences of what you may want.

    • No, we don't expect girls to pursue them. We expect them to play the 21st century and show ome goddamn interrest. If shw doesn't change interrest, we move on. The result is... you downplay interrest, you downplay and wait for signals. Congratulations, you just got yourself dumped because you HAD to make him chase you.

      We're in the 21st century and we know it, so we actually expect the girl to show interrest if she is interrested in us. And you know, all your reasons can be summed up with "i'm afraid to be rejected" To that i got one reply.
      That rejection is whag guys face EVERY day and for some reason we are expected to not really mind it and make a move. Welcome to the 21st century, the dating rules has changed.

  • Because they think like women. Women wish you would think like women too.

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  • apparently it's their nature or how they were conditioned

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  • Frustrating, isn't it! Not all women are like that but certainly most are. What's funny is that those women get frustrated with men for not being able to read their minds. LOL.

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