Should I turn to online dating since I've never been asked out and never had a boyfriend?

I'm going to turn 25 and have literally no love experience.
I just don't get why guys never seem to be interested in me or if they somewhat do, simply stop or turn out not to be.
I'm thinking I might get on an online dating site and see where things go. I am not desperate for a boyfriend or have any expectation but I'm telling myself that this could be a great way to just get out there and start having something that can look like a love life.

BUT I have some fears related to online dating:
first I don't feel safe putting my picture up there.
Second I am a virgin and not really up for casual sex.
Third, how can I trust someone I meet over the internet? I have a hard time trusting people I meet in real life so I guess it would be much harder with a complete stranger.

So are those reasons enough for me to stay away from these sites ro is it worth the try?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay:
    First, if you don't put your picture up there, you are not going to get anywhere. Countless people every day see your face, this is a fear you have to get over. I and the overwhelming majority of other guys will just skip over a profile without a picture because we figure you have something to hide.
    Second, that's fine, dating sites are not just for hookups. You can specify what you're looking for - dating, long term, marriage, friends, etc.
    Third, talk to them first before you agree to meet! I usually talk to girls for a week before I meet them: sometimes more, sometimes less. Meet them in a public place like a coffee shop and don't leave alone with them if you don't feel safe.

    It's a strange experience at first but once you get used to it, it's a lot of fun chatting to new people online, going on dates with them, and more ;)

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    • I see, thank you for the advice. I hope if I end up trying it this will at least give me some experience, confidence with guys.

What Guys Said 10

  • Ok, give it a shot, but not on plenty of fish, or tinder, those sites are purely for sex, and nothing else. Try match, eharmony, if you're religious christian mingle, or other religious dating sites. Now if you're trying to get some casual dating experience, step out of your shell, when you're walking down the street, give a greeting to everyone you see. Standing in line in the coffee shop, strike up a conversation with the person standing next you. Learn to be comfortable talking to people, and eventually you'll be asked out.

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    • Well it's really hard fro me to just chat up anyone in the street. I do it sometimes, mostly with women though but I'm much more shy with men

    • understandably so, the only way to get good at it is by doing it though…the more you talk to men the easier it gets.

  • I would say give it a try, you have nothing to lose. As a girl you will have a far better chance of meeting someone online than a guy would. Though I do have to warn that a good percentage of the guys are strange, but you just need to filter them out. Don't rush to meet up, just chat a bit to get to know them first, as that will ease the fear and help you find the genuine people on there. If you are considering meeting up with someone, might be a good idea have a chat on the phone as that will give you another indication of who they are before you meet. In regards to a picture, I think it is a must have, as guys won't message you if they cannot see you, just like you wouldn't message someone you couldn't see. If you do meet up, do it in a public location as its always safer :)

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    • Ok thanks this would be useful probably, as I thought meeting fast could be a good way to gauge someone. I know a picture is a must. Well I don't know right now what I will do but thank you for those advice.

  • Your third fear is reason enough to stay away in my opinion.

    Put yourself out there in real life, in events/occasions/situations that you're comfortable with.

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    • yes right, I mean I might totally have the person I meet there show me their identity card if anything a bit more serious were to happen. I am also very worried about these people kissing sleeping around.. anyway, the thing is I've been through a "depressed phase" where I sort of lost many friends so that nowadays I don't have a lot of people to hang out with and am not really invited to events or anything... Besides I've moved to anew town and I just don't know where to go to meet people etc..

    • Show All
    • Guess it sucks to not be able to make friends after 2 months of trying, but your options are give up or keep trying.

    • I made some friends but they're just not the type to throw party, organize events or just go anywhere. They go to classes and then back home. They're nice people though, but I think at this point I just don't know where else to meet people other than those that have classes with me and we're very few (around 20)

  • online dating= lots of fags, guys who send you dick pics, players, some who want fwb, others who just want to troll around and.. the minority of guys who actually are normal and just have the dating site as a boost or idk.
    that's how I call it

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    • Yes it seeks consistent with the idea that nothing serious can come off online dating site but I'm mostly looking to get more comfortable around men, communicating with them,

    • I use it just to have conversations with random girls, I also talk to chicks who already have boyfriends.
      seems like they are most of the time the good looking ones and the rest must have some kind of problems in dating (psycho haha).

  • I am 20 and never had a gf. Have multiple online dating accounts, they have gotten me some dates, but nothing more.

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    • well I see, you know I don't expect it to land a boyfriend through those anyway. I am not opposed to it but well I've never even been on a date...

    • You have a good body type? As shallow as that sounds, a lot of guys i have seen go for the skinny to average body type and avoid the obese ones.

    • I'm not obese nor thin. I am in between 120 and 130 pounds for 5 feet 4. I do have fat on the butt /hips/thigh area but nothing extreme. I find my weight healthy actually

  • I honestly would not recommend online dating. It works for very few people.

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  • If you have the confidence to try online dating then use that same assurance to meet guys in public there are more lonely guys than girls

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    • this is quite different, I'd have to come up to them and make small talk in real life, while on the internet I'd be more comfortable

    • Then practacie on me , and take what you learn to the real world

  • If you're going to use online dating websites I'd recommend using the paid ones such as eHarmony because it tends to filter out all the casual sex people. When people are paying they usually take it serious.

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  • I really like this honest account, I'm very similar to you in terms of never had a girlfriend and always wondered why it hasn't happened so far, its good meet a fellow person who's a virgin I'm 26. I have never done online dating for the same reasons of people finding out and not feeling safe.

    I have never told anyone I'm a virgin keep it secret, so i find your post very refreshing.

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    • I understand how being a virgin can be seen as a flaw especially when you're in your mid-twenties but well, I happen to be so. I don't tell it to friends though out of fear of them judging me but I've never been obsessed with the idea of losing it so well..

    • To tell you the truth, i personally think your a keeper for a lucky guy, and hopefully you will find a guy who respects you and loves you for your personality, looks hopefully will love everything about you.

    • thank you , this is a nice thing to say. I hope the very same for you

  • wow, glad i'm not alone in this, i'm 26 and still haven't had a girlfriend

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    • have guys often approached you and asked you out?

What Girls Said 5

  • Yeah forget online full. of creeps and liars. Hard enough trusting someone in person lol

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  • Omg.. are u my twin? Well actually im like 2yrs older.. lol I tried the whole online dating thing.. but it weirded me out.. and so I opted out. Guys will approach but be careful bc there are also a lot of pervs.. to filter theough :/ also dont give ur phone number out so quickly rookie mistake I made and boy was it awkward. lol.

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  • It's def worth to try. I'm a virgin myself and kinda shy in person. Online dating sites really help me to communicate better with guys and it actually boosts my confidence everytime I see guys showing their interest in me :)

    I went out with a couple of guys I met online after we had been texting for a couple of days. One guy tried to get me on his bed which was the worst first date I've ever been in (I literally ran away cause I didn't want ro lose my virginity just yet lol). My point is, if you're still wanna stay virgin or worry if your date could be a serial killer lol I'd strongly suggest you to meet in public places :)

    Tinder would be a good place to start!

    Good luck girl

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    • wow, that must have been a very scary experience!! Yes well if I do decide to try online dating then I would most definitely meet them in public places first, with many many people around if possible.
      But I do get what you're saying about boosting confidence and helping someone communicate. I think those are also what I would need. Thanks for your input

  • Worth a try.
    Fyi most the guys in online dating are scum, so definitely be really careful. That being said, I have some close friend who are really standup guys that do online dating. So there are a few keepers on those sites.

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  • I feel as if it's worth a try. But beware men on online dating sites are... pointless in a sense. They're on there for a reason, they make it seem as if they're a great catch but they're really nuts; possessive,
    insecure, evasive dweebs.

    I gave up with meeting men online honestly. Just perverts.

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    • Oh thanks I'll keep that in mind if I ever decide to try it.

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