Nice guy syndrome = social anxiety disorder?

Anyone ever wonder if those nice guys actually suffer from some kind of a social anxiety disorder? Many of them are so afraid to ask a girl out, I can't help but wonder.


Most Helpful Guy

  • For a lot of them I think that is likely. I grew up hearing a lot of bad advice about women. I remember one poor guy that this girl started screaming at, calling him shallow for asking her on a date, when they weren't already close friends. Everyone in the school acted like he was a pervert just for asking out a girl he thought was cute.

    Male sexuality often is demonized that I think a lot of these nice guys, just have no idea how to attract a woman. They end up thinking they are suppose to be friends, and then they can start dating. To the guy befriending the woman is a part of the courtship process, but women are now claiming that is deceitful for pretending to be her friend. When this false courtship ritual, the guy was following, fails he thinks the woman was just playing with his emotions. Then he gets angry and bitter. These guys are also being taught girls don't care about looks and stuff, girls only care about finding a nice guy that treats them right. I think the biggest problem is no one is teaching men the truthful basics on how to approach women, or what a woman wants.

    I think this confusion may add to or even cause social anxiety disorder in some guys. These guys are being taught if they ever stand up for themselves then they are selfish, and that isn't what nice guys do. They aren't being taught a balance on standing of for themselves, and taking other peoples feelings in into consideration. Basically it is bad parenting brought on largely by single mothers that don't understand how to teach a boy strength.

    • That hits right on the nail, I had the same exact problem. I grew up without a good male role model, I was raised by a single mom. In my younger college days, I had failed dating efforts either because I didn't realize to make the move, or getting too obsessed on the girl who didn't like me back etc. Even then, I knew how to talk with girls, I found that talking to a girl, exchanging names and a little small talk, worked very well. Many of them came to me later interested in getting to know me better. Nowadays, one of my best friends, a guy over 20 years older than me, is like a father figure to me and it is allowing me to catch up what I missed in my childhood, its great. I'm also learning what it is like to meet halfway between a boy and a girl, thanks to some very good platonic friendships.

    • Wow, I actually agree with most of it; being social award is just a situation and with the right knowledge you can stop. The difficult part is figuring out which information is correct and what isn't. When it comes to people related issue there are lots of shades of grey.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Don't confuse shy guy with nice guys

    Nice guys approach, shy guys don't

  • Unusal question it doesn't matter whether a guy is nice or not they can still ask girls out and with social anxiety its about loss of confidence and fear well it it wasn't heard about when I was growing up.


What Guys Said 3

  • I don't know if I was ever a 'nice guy' but I've never dated anyone. Always shy around girls , but never really talkative in any circumstance, people just lead different lives than I do.

    I can barely relate to anyone, people around me aren't interested in music like I am, nobody plays guitar or any other instruments, nobody likes writing songs. Or playing video games lol

    So I am basically always alone, I even gave up on socialulizing for a long time after I told my best friend that I didn't want to hear from him ever again. Until some people at work started inviting me out I just went out by myself. Now I am used

  • a nice guy is one that doesn't beat their woman, cheat on them, use them, hurt them. so it depends on what you mean by a nice guy.

  • Im not a nice guy but when it comes to asking a girl out I get very shy but maybe thats just highschool.