I'm 24 and have never been on date, What can I do to change this? What is my problem? I really need advice (pic)?

As the title says, I've never been on a date, and have never had a boyfriend.
I've never been asked out, or heard of someone being interested in me. Men are nice to me, sometimes it seems like they could be interested but then it turn out I'm just an acquaintance, or a friend.
I'm at a point where I just don't know what it is about myself that repels guys. Every single girl I know has had a boyfriend. A friend of mine isn't drop dead pretty but she always has some guy interested in her even though she's already in a relationship. And me? no one. I've never even kissed.
I am a rather nice person overall, good listener, likes to debate etc.. I have flaws but everyone has some. I talk to everyone and am not a snob.
Every time I read about possible reasons for being in such a situation, the first thing mentioned is look so here is a link to my face:
https://flic.kr/p/pN45aZ
I don't dress super girly (like gossip girls) because I find it hard to walk in heels, I don't put on a lot of make up and sometimes put on none at all. It is also quite complicated to do a neat look to my hair since they're wavy/curly. Could those be reason enough?

I know maybe I should start loving myself more, maybe I just haven't met the right person, but still how can I ignore the fact that I am just plain invisible to men and that they don't take any interest in me, or that they would be nice and then make me feel like I'm bothering them (when I am really far from clingy) ?

I am not looking for pity or else, I know there are much worse things in life but it affects my confidence somehow. I am going to be 25, and most people I know are in long relationship, going to get married, have kids or celebrating their 7/8 years of relationship and I have yet to get on a date. I can't help but feel pathetic and ashamed when I think of it.

It's just like something is oozing off me or maybe I am not aware of how i come off to others.

Updates:
and most importantly what can I do to change this?
I realized I didn't give a lot of info on how I behaved in my question and some of the answers already given, really made me wonder about it.
I am rather shy and introverted (I test as INFJ on personality type is this is relevant).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are in college, find a club, or college activity, that you like. Once you get around some people with some of the same interests as you , you will meet someone. If you are upset or feeling depressed, find a counselor to talk to and don't give up. Look at it this way, at least you have not been in a dozen bad relationships. You must like yourself first before you can be in a relationship with anyone.

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    • I understand what you're getting at, but it is still rather difficult to fully love oneself when one constantly seems to struggle with being liked.

    • Do you have friends that you hang out with? I am an INFJ too. I always find people are sometimes too absorbed in themselves to build solid connections beyond the "I'll see ya when I see ya" stage. Being quiet and shy can have it's tough parts. Take yourself out to a coffee bar and just look around at everything that is going on. If you see someone you like, go over and say hi and see if you can join them. The first step is always the hardest, but it gets easier the more you do it. You have to take some steps and not just wait for things to come to you.

What Guys Said 16

  • Body language and eye contact are your best weapons. Anyone you meet, you should look into their eyes at least long enough to see what colour they are.
    Your body language need to look open to approach, and you need to notice the body language of men around you (and respond with body language quickly enough).

    You'll find some of that in this link, and man other things, but it's a long read (about 100 pages).
    cdn.preterhuman.net/.../...20Love%20with%20You.PDF

    If you just want the short crash course, see if you can find a copy of this.
    www.amazon.com/Superdate-Tracey-Cox/dp/0756607558

    You can do it. You should be able to pick up 5 men a day, if you try.

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  • Most of my friends and cousins are in multiple year relationships and some are even married with kids (in no particular order lol) and I can't have anything that lasts longer than a year. And it's getting worse because I have no wigmen left. But u should never give up or assume it's your fault. We haven't meant the right person yet. You're pretty. Honestly. And nothing about u sounds odd. Besides, now that I'm older I look for personality more than looks. Of course looks helps let's be honest but I've found myself attracted more to a girl's smarts, kindness and sense of humor rather than boobs and butts. I guess I could say I'm looking for more of a potential mother to my children rather than just a hook up like I was before. Don't give up. Put yourself out there, u never knew when the right guy might step around the corner. Be yourself, never change for anyone.

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    • Maybe my personality isn't attractive , maybe I come off as boring. Though, I consider myself a rather interesting person. I just find it weird that during all these years, there has been no one.

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    • you can go to parks, starbucks and mall

    • I go to starbucks and mall no one ever approached me there. Even if I'm alone.

  • I gave some advice out a bit ago that's applicable to you, so I'll link to the other question: http://bit.ly/1wqgYrG

    If you have other questions--fashion, conversation, confidence, etc--shoot me a message, happy to give advice.

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  • Can't see the pic, so I have no clue if you're Audrey Hepburn or a 300 pound whale, lol.

    If you want to find a date, you gotta work for it, unfortunately. Go out places, be social, approach guys. Learn to flirt and banter. If you don't know how, find someone to teach you.

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    • I deleted the pic. What do you mean by work for it. I don't feel like the girls I know have done a lot more than me but they still have someone. I mean most of the time people date classmates, friends of friends. I was not home schooled, though it is true I've never been big on party and going out and all, but still the few times I went, nothing came out of it.

  • https://flic.kr/p/pN45aZ

    PAGE NOT FOUND

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  • It's very surprising to hear this because by your age at least some guy would have tried with you. Have you rejected guys? Do you get out ever? I think you should get out more. Volunteer, go to bars/clubs, the gym. Wherever you can meet guys. Also try approaching them instead of waiting for them all the time.

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    • I haven't rejected anyone since no one has asked me out. I do go out sometimes. I admit I am not really a bar/club type of person. It is true when I think of it that I am not really optimizing my chance of meeting guys. But I go to uni, and my studies are in a field that has mainly guys.. !

  • there was nothing to see in the link but just to let you know I'm a year older and I can relate

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  • You are pretty. You dont have to look nice to impress guys. Most guys prefer women wear less make up, and when it comes to fashion, you dont necessarily have to wear like gossip girls, wear something simple. You seem alright to me.

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    • Thanks , than I guess it must be something I'm doing..

  • I wish I could see the pic to make a proper assessment.. come on put it back up.

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  • too bad i dont have a chance to see your picture... hmmm i can somehow relate to you... i'm 22 never had a gf and dated before

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  • the link didn't work..
    you should try a dating site though.

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    • yes, sorry I removed the picture.

  • link page not found

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  • You need to pic out a guy you would like to date and let him know your interested

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    • I think I've done this once, but it didn't work out. I didn't flat out said "let's date" but I think I was obvious enough..

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    • I think you meant "don't want you" but like I said, I'm just not part of a group. And I have no problem doing things on my own. I am very used to this. What can appear as stand offish can be just me being focused on thoughts or else. And when I've paid attention to men, it never worked

    • There are men that like the same as you, more xomfortable with themselves and their companion then the crowd. its best that way:)

  • I think you just can't get the guys you want. Doesn't mean you can't get a guy period.

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    • That's the case I think with most of the women who post these questions.

    • You're right maybe I could get a guy, I mean if I looked hard enough and was really open to just about any guys (whether or not I have something in common with them, or appreciate them). But what I was trying to get at was that no guy seems to have been attracted to me, at least not enough to make a move. And even the few times I tried to "make things happen" (which is really a big word here...) by casually suggesting we could meet, they never followed through...

  • Why don't u want to put make up and dress nice? U are pretty but u would be uber uber pretty with makeup. I think that may be the reason seeing how most girls do it makes it almost an expectation as bad as that sounds

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    • I will try to pay more attention to this then. It's true that compared to other girls I don't really stand out which might be why I am invisible.

  • well i saw your pic i think you are cute
    i kinda know the feeling
    you have the feeling that no one wants you and you will be alone forever
    first of all let me tell you this if we lived in the same erea
    and i knew this about you i would ask you out because i think you are beautiful
    but you can ask friends to invite someone over that might like you
    or go to a club
    or ask one of your friends to ask a guy with them so you can double date

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    • thank you, well you're right I do have this feeling that things aren't going to change and that I am always going to remain alone. And since I don't know what is wrong I feel very powerless.

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    • so give internet dating a try or just look on sites where you can get friends with people

    • if you want i can leave my name here so if you have anymore questions you can send them diretly to me

What Girls Said 3

  • Well stop standing around and ask them out. I finally got my crush's phone number and in no time we will be going on for a date. You haveto be the queen of yourself, if you are not confident fake it, but do compliment what a nice person and beautiful you are.
    Do something that will spice yourself up that can can you a boost your self-esteem it may be a new hairdo or buy a sexy dress. At the end of the day guys can be shy and very non-observant so you got to take a shot for finding love. Good luck, you won't need it though! :)

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    • I did so already. I am not afraid to take initiative see, but my attempts were not successful, so this sort of make me doubt myself as I thought those guys were interested

  • Don't change anything, if you change for a guy instead of being yourself, you will never be 100% happy in your relationship

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    • I am not looking to change myself, I just would like to know if there might something I am doing that makes me come off as someone no one wants to date.

  • Try joining some groups or social clubs etc. you're attractive so try not to let it get you down :)

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