I am not sure if she has any feelings for me?

So I asked this girl in my Japanese class that I really like out for coffee, and she said yes. She originally said she could do it soon, then had to cancel, but said we should reschedule. The last few days we talked some and had some short, funny phone conversations. Except for a few times though, I'm normally the one who initiates conversation. I really like her, but am starting to think she doesn't think of me as more than just a friend. What do you guys think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmmm. That's kinda tricky. But I think you still have a shot.

    When I like a guy and I have a legitimate reason for canceling on him, I always make it a point to reschedule because I don't want him to think I'm bailing on the date. And there's honestly no way that it would just slip my mind. If you're interested in someone, it's constantly on your mind.

    So my theory is one of two things. Either;

    (A) She's not sure how she feels about you. She might be unsure whether or not she likes you as more than a friend. Basically If she's unsure of what she wants, that would explain why she's procrastinating about getting back to you about it. She might be buying herself time.

    Or (B), Maybe she doesn't even realize it was a coffee "date". You said that you haven't had much time to flirt with her and make your intentions clear. Maybe she believes that you just intend to be her friend, so the coffee thing wouldn't even seem like a big deal. In that case it would make sense that rescheduling isn't her first priority.

    So, as to what you should do. I don't think you should move on quite yet. How long has it been since the coffee thing? If it's been more than a couple weeks I think it's fine if you ask again. But maybe ask to grab a casual lunch instead so it doesn't seem like you're still stuck on the coffee thing.

    Also, as a side note, do you know for a fact that she's not involved with anyone else? Have you guys talked about that sort of stuff?

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What Girls Said 16

  • I'd ask her one more time, and see what she says. Be light and easy about it, something like 'Hey, I know we've all been super busy, still up for that coffee? My treat.' should work. If she's interested in you she'll either tell you yes right away, or she'll suggest a better time. It's possible that she did get busy and forgot to reschedule, and now feels awkward and like too much time has passed to suggest it to you.

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  • She sounds like she's disinterested at this point. It might have been that she was interested at first, but as plans fell through, she reconsidered, and now that you're asking her again... she has now found someone else to fixate on. You can just ask her if you aren't sure, honestly, most girls appreciate that. Just ask her if she's still interested or if you should move on.

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  • if you know her pretty well i think it would be socially acceptable but, if youve only talked to her once or twice in person then you should probably call or ask in person.

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  • TEXT HER. you're in the modern world. Now a days the only thing "Wrong" to do over text is a break up. Go for her, do what you can to make this date happen.

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  • there's not quite enough to tell whether or not she likes you, but if she wasn't uninterested you should try and ask her again! don't give up so quickly :)

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  • If she doesn't reschedule then don't ask her again. She canceled and she needs to offer a make up date

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  • If face to face is out of the question at least call her. Texting is do spineless (no offense), it wouldn't make me say no but it wouldn't excite me to be with you either.

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  • Given the context, it's a possibility that she just got distracted and simply forgot, though it could be a variety of reasons. Did she continue to talk with you as frequently as before you asked her out to coffee? If not, then perhaps her lack of an answer could be her expressing her disinterest. If she continued to talk to you as she normally would, then that just tells me she just forgot. Perhaps you could suggest another outing, propose something more subtle like the coffee outing, and communicate your interest to her there. Either way, I wouldn't give up just yet, as there doesn't seem to be enough evidence to point to her dislike or disinterest in you. Additionally, she hasn't been forward or too obvious in expressing that disinterest, which might indicate she isn't disinterested at all.

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  • You want you could casually bring up that she never answered and then say "if you don't like coffee we can go out to dinner"

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  • you're right, she probably only thinks of you as a friend - but you can change that!

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    • I agree, you can make her like you. Just spend more time with her and flirt maybe.

  • Girls don't like a guy less because he asked over text btw.

    But idk, you'll find out tomorrow. there's not much to go on

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  • Seems like you stand a chance.. I mean she did say yes :) Go for it :D

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  • Ask her on a date!!

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  • Y'all should really go out for coffee or something and talk about it lol.

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  • ask her on a date I know when you are a college student sometimes you are really busy to even text.

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  • Text is totally acceptable

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What Guys Said 10

  • she wanted to reschedule so that's a good sign. how exactly do you think you fumbled the situation? you hardly gave any detail to that. and you know don't be in the mindset that you don't want her to feel like she's doing something she doesn't want too, because trust me, if he doesn't want too do it then she wont. don't always ask for her permission, just ask and see what she says, that's it.

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  • You know I had the same thing to me and I thought the girl I like wasn't interested in me but it wasn't the case. It just took me a shit load of weeks to get her attention and show her that I am interested in her but at the same time not clingy or obsessive and so far it's paying off since now she wants to go out.

    How long do you 2 known have met and known each other? I'm assuming she might have somewhat interest in you if you have her phone number and initiates normal conversation.

    Where are you visiting her? At her job? school? because if it's her job then by default she could be just being nice because she "has" to.

    How are you initiating your texts with her? Are you spamming her texts? does you or her carry the conversation or is it one sided? For me I text the girl I like once in awhile because like you I have initiate the texts because apparently girls like it so endure it but I carry my conversation with her. Right now I don't text her much but I visit her work to say hi and whats up and she talks to me and asks thing about me so yeah.

    I'm just telling you my recent experience so you get an idea but feel free to answer those questions so I can give a better opinion out of this.

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  • Basically she said she will let you know. The ball is in her court now. Further pressuring her will certainly turn her off. You have to wait and see now. Nothing wrong with texting "hello" every day.

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  • I think if you asked her before, and since it's such a small date (compared to a fancy dinner or some such thing,) you could at least use texting to broach the subject. At the very least, it will break the ice for both of you to make talking after class or something a bit more nonchalant.

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  • Maybe you need a girl's opinion here! But i think its better for you NOT to insist to date her.
    Being not interested to date you is not the only reason can make her not confirmed. maybe she has fears or family affairs or maybe she is not ready physically or emotionally, and sometimes it can be as simple as she doesn't have the right outfit :)

    Relax and give her some time and keep yourself busy and in contact. she already knows you want to date her and said she will let you know!

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  • Don't let girls decide when is the best time to go on a date/dinner/hangout AT ALL; they will say (YES) right to your face but they will never... eva eva eva eva eva eeeeeeva tell you when (I learned it the hard way), because they want YOU to decide instead. Ask her again but in a different approach, but first give her space and time, like when you see her and talk to her again, don't mention the date, because she probably STILL busy.

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  • Just chill. If Thursday doesn't happen, then forget about her.

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  • Make that decision after you have met up. If she cancels again, you have your answer. If she shows up and still seems interested, you'll have your answer. Don't give up before you know for sure.

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  • dude... talk to her... legit straight up convo... hey i want to hang and do somethin... you go this

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  • Ask her for a coffee again, around weekend..

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