Why would you flirt and then put me in the friend zone?

I really don't understand this. I went on a couple dates with this girl I work with. Thing is, she was cool but I really didn't pursue her at all. She came on to me. She would flirt a ton with me, she got my number to talk about "work related things" soon after that we were talking on the phone for hrs a night. After we went out said it would be better for us to be friends. Now she's still trying to flirt with me and all that stuff. I do like her for sure but my question is why would you seek someone out, be so aggressive, get them interested and then act like we should just be friends?


0|0
4|2

Most Helpful Girl

  • Dear Andrea_Mariee,
    I completely understand how you are feeling and don't ever think that you were messed up or rude for trying to cut him out like you did. You were simply protecting yourself from getting hurt. Sometimes when it comes to love its all or nothing and this "in between" stuff where he is treating you nice and basically treating you like his gf is very confusing and like you said very unsatisfactory to you. It sounds to me that he is having major commitment issues. Maybe he was in a previous relationship that was destroyed and now he is "traumatized." I am just predicting from what your story is. He is right, he isn't ready for a relationship if that is the case. If I were you, I will honestly not expect too much from him even though he is making you expect with his actions. His actions say that he wants you, but he is not mentally and emotionally committed yet. I'm telling you to do this so that you can also protect yourself, so you won't be the one who ends up getting hurt in the end. He said that he wants to "ask you out" or have a relationship with you soon. Don't take this too the heart and think "oh soon he will ask me soon" just go with the flow without expecting too much. And if everything seems to be cooling off from your last argument, then bring it up! Don't be afraid! Because you have the right to do this since he is showing affection and care for you. Approach in a calm and collected manner. Also, set up a time. You said you don't want to keep waiting forever. Set up a time limit for yourself and him. By the time you ask him about it again, if he isn't ready then stop and think... is it worth it? And then set up a time as you go at it. But remember DO NOT EXPECT TOO MUCH FROM HIM! Hope this helps!!
    Xoxo,
    Babiixoxo

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • She was likely testing the waters. Seeing whether you'll object to her idea of friendship or not... she wanted you to "fight" for her and tell her no you don't want friendship but more. It's a pretty sneaky way of trying to see if a guy likes you or not. If I were her I'd just straight up ask. If you like her for sure then tell her how you feel. I don't think you have anything to lose.

    0|0
    0|0
  • She may realize that you guys aren't compatible for a relationship but it doesn't mean she doesn't find you hot anymore. I have liked guys and we got to know each other and I realized we were better off as friends but I still flirted with him because I still thought he was hot.

    0|0
    0|0
  • She's a tease.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 2

  • Following time spent with you, she feels that you two are better off as friends. This, however, has not altered her attraction for you, which I assume manifests in her flirty behavior towards you.

    And yes, there are friendships between women and men which involves flirting, without expectations or intentions of taking the relationships further.

    Or, perhaps she setting the stage for a friends with benefits proposal. But, who knows.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I need to know a few things

    What's his background like?

    What does he do for as an income source?

    What is his personality like?

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...