What makes a guy come up to a girl?

I'm not hideous but not gorgeous and i've never been approached by a guy ever and i live in NYC so I'm around a ton of people on a daily basis. Is it something i'm doing or are men just not like that anymore? Also i'm a very nervous person so i dont approach men.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It depends on the guy... generally confident men will approach a women if they are given a sign, like prolonged eye contact followed by a smile. Maybe you don't give men any signals. Usually when a man feels you are attracted to him he will have the confidence to approach you. You have to be open to being approached, if you have closed body language or have a stern look on your face this can repel men. When you make eye contact with a guy you find attractive hold his gaze maybe throw in a cheeky smile... if he's confident enough he will approach you however shy men may never approach women.
    VERY confident men may approach without any signs.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Most guys are shy when it comes to girls. If you're in a group, that makes it harder to approach. If you're by yourself in a coffee shop, easier to approach. Also, if this is a problem for you, you might wanna try watching for signs of interest (likely a guy keeps peeking over at you sort of thing), then take the initiative to talk to him.

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  • Men don't aproach you because you're not an open door hun. They see you are quiet, nervous and such so it makes men believe you're not interested or don't want to talk to anyone. People are considerate to leave alone, but the ones who do aproach a girl like you, you should be weary. If you get lucky its gonna be a real nice guy, but most will be creepers lol

    Gotta change your act if you want different. Girls can't have it too easy.

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  • You have to show interest first in order for a guy to approach you. I get girl cues quite often but don't always make a move. That being said, you have to give signs out that shows your looking for attention and also have the facial/body language that's approachable

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  • Yes I agree try to make eye contact and give signals. It might be a little awkward but who cares?

    You have to realize that a lot of guys these days don't even understand that you have to approach women. Or some think it's only appropriate at a bar or a party (which is wrong!)

    And it's even gotten worse now with Internet dating.

    I think there is a good portion of men that simply do not approach women at all

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  • there are so many reasons as to why no one could approach you. maybe its the time. or the place. perhaps the guy is shy or maybe he feels like you are way out of his league. or perhaps some dont find you attractive. you just have to ask yourself why you wouldn't approach someone. personally im a shy guy and its so hard to do that thing.

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  • In my opinion,
    I would say i think too much.
    If I see you for 10 seconds above, high chance i wouldn't approach you'
    cause bad thoughts start coming into the head

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  • Thank feminism for that. They have convinced a good portion of men that it is innapropriate to approach women on the street because it can make them feel uncomfortable. They call it "street harassment".

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    • Well i'm not a feminist so there's that

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    • I know. I'm just saying that's what a lot of feminist believe. Look up street harassment. I'm not saying this is what I believe. But it does explain why a lot of guys are less comfortable approaching girls compared to before. There is an unfortunate shift of mentality and men are being oppressed and told to not approach woman even though it's our role to do so.

    • I agree in the sense that feminism can be a 'double edged sword' for women. Feminists have got carried away with their own sense of independence that it can hinder their chances when they need to be reliant on men (being approached) ... But as men we should not be discriminated against by feminist, we must continue to do what we believe is our duty and not let feminism dictate our most natural of masculine instincts.

  • Basically, unspoken flirting. You need to work on that, so that guys know it's okay to approach you.

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