Would you be attracted to a girl without a "typical career" or a lack of direction? It makes me self conscious?

I'm really into traveling/photography and working from home/freelance.. I'm still finishing up college (psych major) but I'm not sure anymore if this is even my passion. I don't have a stable career and it makes me self conscious. Don't get me wrong, I own a really nice BMW that I paid off. I live in a really nice apt with my room mate... But I guess what I'm asking is, is my lack of direction a turn off to a guy? I find myself pushing people away because I feel like they might be disappointing in my lack of a stable career.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It wouldn't stop me from dating you. Nor would it stop me from getting in a relationship with you if you have got it nice in other areas. I will explain... people want to see that you '' strive'' for something.. not necessarily that you have already ''attained '' it. Like women get attracted to a guy with ''ambition'' even though he is not very well off '' now'' .. but his energy and the sparkle in his eyes makes them know he is ''on to something'' .

    I dont think you should hold your self from dating at all... when i am getting to know a woman for the first time... i am not very much looking for what she has now.. i am looking for someone who has the same ''ambition'' .. someone who doesn't stay still and not go forward... i don't care if she hasn't found her calling as long as she is aware of it and is trying... the fact that she is '' trying'' is all you need.

    Was i clear?

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    • Yes, very clear. Thanks!

    • Thank you for the award! Wish you all the best ! And start dating with confidence ;) you are good enough !

What Guys Said 9

  • I actually prefer that type over the "ambitious career woman" because I tend to notice a lot of them are stuck up and say things like "guys are just intimidated because I make my own money" and when you talk to them you can clearly tell they are pushing the guys away with their attitude alone.

    Overall I think just supporting yourself is all that is really needed. What you do past there is your business. It's much preferred over the judgmental types of people who try to claim that others must follow their path in life or they're "not successful."

    Also don't be surprised at the many people out there claiming to own the type of car you have but are actually not paying it off and falling behind on their payments.

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  • No as long as your lack of direction doent follow into our relationship than its fine if you haven't found your passion. I mean i never found mine its just i did something i am good at which makes pays the bills. Technically your braver than i am by changing your careers but still are getting by just fine. Plus unless you were dumb most men dont really care that much about a women in a high paying job or stable carrer women.

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    • "as long as your lack of direction doesn't follow into our relationship" - what do you mean by that

    • Your conflicted about settling into your career and dont know if you want to commit.

    • Oh ok. Trying to prevent that from happening, hence why I posted this. Gotta pick your guys' brain a little ;)

  • if a man is going after a woman based on her career... then that is sure sign he isn't the right one...

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    • Really? I find the opposite to be true with my guy friends. When they list the idea "qualifications" of a potential girlfriend they never fail to mention "career". Granted, THEY all have careers and make pretty good money

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    • Gotcha. Does it bother you at all that many women feel the complete opposite?

    • Not really. Everyone is different. And many women, despite the whole "equality" and "feminism" crap going around, still want a man to provide for them.

  • This is a question most guys constantly worry about all their lives. My own answer is I don't care about a resume I'm not attracted to materialistic things in any way.

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  • i dont think that would stop me from dating someone. i date people that i like and thats not what they have or do. you could work at coles and drive an excel if your a beautiful person with a good personality or great caring heart. i would wanna date you regardless of which direction your going. even if you had cancer or depression

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  • Would it be a deal breaker? Not really, unless you were REALLY out of direction in life (sitting at home doing nothing).

    Would I prefer she have some direction in life? Definetly.

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  • I really think your fine. Most people never know what they want. We are constantly changing goals and career paths. I would date you as long as you had goals in life and you did not dwell in depression.(short term or long term)

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  • If she is hot, Hell yea?

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  • I don't mind it. I have a similar worry though because My career as a chef isn't a glamourus one at all and certainly doesn't pay well. I'm sortof embarrassed by it because it doesn't feel like a proper career that I personally will get any success from.

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    • Wow, really? I can't speak for other women, but I think a man who can cook is SEXY. A man who is a professional chef is even sexier. I think many women would agree lol... The only way it would be "unsexy", is if you seemed ashamed of it. I say, if you love it, own it and keep getting better and better at it... one day you will be making the big bucks. Sidenote: My girls and I were all outside of a bar one night. This average looking guy pulled my friend aside and spoke with her. When she came back, she told us that he asked her for her number ect.. no one really reacted.. then she said "He's a chef!" We all instantly started smiling and encouraging her to talk to him hahaha.. You made me think of that story

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    • Lol I secretly crave a desk job for the stability. Don't have to worry about ordering or fussy eaters but I like to make things. I show off pics of things I've made specially for celebs. I just don't know how to market it into getting a girls number hahha

    • LOL! Wellllll I wouldn't recommend using it as a line to get a girl's number xD
      But I think the girls you connect with will look at it as a plus. My point is, don't let it make you self conscious in any way. It's a cool career imo. But I'm into artsy people, and I look at cooking as an art as well :) Not everyone is into it. Just like not every guy is gonna give a crap about my photography, ect.

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