EVERYONE: is it rude to say that you aren't interested when someone asks you out?

So I asked another question on here and a guy told me it was rude to tell a guy that I am not interested when he asks me out.

This guy asked me out over text (I had several reasons for not liking him, none of which were nice, i. e. he's not very bright, stuff like that) and I said "I'm sorry, I'm not interested :/"

He proceeded to ask me out a couple more times. To which I replied again, "I'm sorry, I am not interested."

Now, this guy is telling me I should come up with lies, a good example of which being: "I think I'm asexual."

I find this ludicrous/hilarious. I should for one, have to lie about my sexual orientation to protect a guy's ego? Rejection is a part of most people's lives! (I'm a girl and have experienced unrequited feelings so yeah I know it hurts.) But lying about your sexuality is a bit extreme.
Especially considering he lives in my area and if he saw me with a future boyfriend I don't think he'd be too happy.

So..."I'm not interested, sorry!" vs "I think I'm asexual"

  • saying you're not interested IS rude as fuck
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  • saying you're not interested is NOT rude
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Saying "you're a dimwitted fuck face and no intelligent girl would ever date you" is rude saying not interested is literally how you feel and it's the furthest from rude. Hell lying to them is rude as fuck too.

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What Guys Said 15

  • Whoever told you to lie about your sexual orientation is a dumbass, although I must admit it is possibly fairly effective in terms of achieving the result.

    What you should also note however is that saying you are not interested can also be translated into "not interested YET" and he will end up keeping hoping because while your initial response is perfectly respectable, it doesn't convey the message of permanence. Basically, you have to imply that no matter what he does, this opinion and stance of yours will not change.

    So something like "Sorry, I don't think it would work out on the long term, and I am not willing to take a gamble on this therefore I am not interested, and my stance on this is final" should be sufficient, although I would only say this if he tries again after the first rejection.

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  • If I get rejected, I respect the girl's right to say no and leave her alone, no hard feelings, no one chooses who they're attracted to. It's not rude to say no, the guy is just a douchebag that can't accept not getting what he wants.

    Ignore him, if he becomes too big of a problem to ignore, tell him you'll never love him and he should fuck off. Seems harsh, but it's for the best.

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  • No it is not rude. Honesty is the best and you right if he ever saw you with a future boyfriend that would hurt is feelings more. It is not rude to say you're not interested if it is done in a respectful way, that gets the point across while upsetting him as little as possible. Where it does become rude is when girls are strait out mean and nasty about it. However, it does not sound like you're the type to be mean and nasty about it.

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  • No, its not rude AT ALL. If you lead him on in spite of not being interested and finally drop the bomb on him, THEN you would be a horrible person.

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  • Please people, no. matter you are a gal or a guy, don't hand out your numbers to people you don't see yourself have anything to do with (platonic friendship, lovers or even i don't know becoming members of a dungeons and dragons group) in the future. It is a waste of time. In fact it gives you a bad time dealing with people that suck. Humans are good in groups but function only really well in likeminded groups. Sure you can meet someone nice and sympathetic but in the OPs example she was pressured by a group of people to give some dumb ass her number. Tell him he has no shot and simply isn't your type. It can never and will never happen. We also cannot be friends sorry, auf wiedersehen. Block number and delete.

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    • They didn't pressure me to give him my number, i just didn't wanna reject him in front of others. I was trying to be nice

    • but thanks for sharing your opinion :)

  • It's rude to say you are interested when your really not. You actually handled it well with the "Sorry, not interested", I see nothing wrong with that response.

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  • i think its important to be honest. its not rude. you can't make everyone like you even if you change yourself physically, emotionally or mentally.

    if its meant to be it will be.

    but i hate people that lie, id prefer to be hurt so i can improve on my flaws and whats wrong with me. but you can still be polite and say the truth you dont have to be like. because your fucking ugly. you could be like i dont find you attractive but im sure someone else will

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  • Better to tell them politely up front and then to accept their invitation for a relationship and end up hurting them more later down the road.

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  • In most cases being straight forward is the best thing to do, but if he pesters you tell him your gay or you have a new bf or just tell him to go fuck off.

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  • Its definetly not rude, but it does suck and thats just something people have to get over, its an obvious possibility when asking people out.

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  • Of course it's not rue if it's the truth, what else could you say?

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  • I never understood why guys think it's rude; you get rejected so move on.

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  • Rude? No. You're just being honest.

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  • Well, did you give him a reason? If you didn't he's just going to keep coming back... Lie if you have to, just give him a reason so he no longer persists.

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    • he asked me a couple more times after that, but stopped. I saw him at a baseball game holding hands with a girl. So maybe that's why.

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    • eventually I'd tell him off.

    • Why not try alternative ways to dissuade him? I mean, you're already waiting an exceptionally long time for him to give up, why not try other routes while you seemingly allow him to test your patience? lol

  • So if you don't LIKE him, why are you even friends with him. You even called him, dumb

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    • who said I was friends with him.

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    • Oh yeah men/women friendship is basically he scatches her back she scratches his but the thing about his back is that its located on his Dick.

    • @traxlem hahahahaha! that accurately sums it up

What Girls Said 9

  • Apparently by you even giving him a number, he thought he had a shot by thinking the both of you had a shot at 'Going out' was just A-----Shot in the dark that he needed to find out.
    By being honest with him, being a straight shooter, you did the noble and kind thing. However, if he persists you need to set the record More Straight out that you like him for a friend only and you May be Interested in another right now, will help ease the situation, get you off the hook hopefully... if he decides to Abuse the number he has, just block him and put the whole matter to bed in a heart beat, no More Explanations of any sort.
    Good luck. xx

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  • It isn't rude at all. And why must a girl accept any guys that approach her, surely there must need to be some form of attractions? As for that guy who you is rude js because I guess he had been rejected before and was bitter about it. Ignore him

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    • Exactly! :)

    • There need to be benchmarking
      Dont bother about thirsty guys here

  • Lol, no. That's why it's called ASKING someone out. The person being asked may not give you the answer you want, and that's okay.

    The dude doesn't seem to know how to take no for answer. People like that perplex me. It's just like, dude, please. Continue your life. Goodness.

    25.media.tumblr.com/.../...idtoJs1sey443o1_500.gif

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  • Nahh it's not rude... although I always find a way to deliver my message without being straightforward..

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    • Tried the lying route, it didn't end up good... I have bad experience with this

    • I think his suggestion is ridiculous, and he's being sensitive. It's totally not your fault.

  • It's not rude, i think it actually is worse if you'd say yes when you aren't even interested :)

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  • I prefer when someone tells me directly when they're not interested

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  • It's not rude. I've said it plenty of times before?
    I don't see how it's rude at all.

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  • You're just saying a fact, what's wrong?

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  • That's as far from rude as possible

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