Are the days of people courting eachother over?

So these days most people sleep together first, or within weeks of meeting someone. Things happen too soon in some cases an the stages of courting and truly getting. to know the person doesn't seem. to happen.

People tend to learn about eachothers bodies before their minds. Fair enough to those who want and have FWBs. Thats their choice but I am talking about dating and enjoying getting. to know someone.

Guys I meet after one date I know I dont know them enough for sex or anything else. I do kiss early on but other stuff doesn't need to be rushed. Most guys seem. to have crazy sex drives and no self control but thats a whole other issue. Thing is if someone wants sex after date two its very obvious they are not after a relationship or any commitment.

I have only met one guy who was patient and decent my first ever bf. An he was just 17 when I was 19. Guys I met after him have all been wasting. my time. Saying they love me for sex, saying they want to move in to get sex, wanting me to sleep over for sex. Had many dates but only with my first bf. An a guy cooked for me one time but even he couldnt. control himself.

I understand humans are sexual beings but why the need to rush it. Guys I've met up with aged between 22-32 have all been wanting sex straightaway but claimed they want a gf. As soon as I meet a guy I dont feel like having sex and do not feel that until I know about them and spend time with them but guys are visual an feel it quickly right?

Out of the 8 guys I've met 7 were too impatient and one was totally patient. So I am uncertain as to whether iwill find a guy with a little bit of patience. I am talking 2-3months max.

  • Yes- People rush into things far too quickly these days
    46% (6)64% (7)54% (13)Vote
  • No- Some people are patient and capable of getting to know someone
    54% (7)36% (4)46% (11)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Firstly both the polls might be true? and I agree with the problem here.
    you've just been with a bunch of the wrong type to put it bluntly. There are plenty of romantics like myself out there.

    It all come down to, are they looking for someone they want to see themselves with in years to come, or are they looking just first looking for someone to sleep with and maybe keep for a while and then decide if they want to move on or not. Depends their moral code.

    My advice, just tell the guy I'm not sleeping with you in 2-3 months and see if he lasts, if not you filtered out an asshole. Good luck.

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    • I always tell guys that an yeah they disappeared after I told. them. I am still a virgin so its even harder for me. Yeah many not looking for same as. me. i want to commit to someone. for years to come.

    • well I feel for you, that sucks, maybe your meeting the wrong guys because of the wrong places? to tell the truth 2-3 months isn't even that bad, I usually go with 6 months. I understand the virgin worry thing, I'm one too, but I don't think you should change your strategy, most of those guys would only last less than 6 months with you anyway, one great relationships better than lots of shitty ones.

What Guys Said 5

  • maybe you're just meeting the wrong guys, those guys would be compatible with a girl that is the opposite of you. but hey they gotta try anyways, and in the end its your choice to shoot them down. but both aspects exist. and its been this way for a decent amount of time.

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  • I could have click on both your poll answers. My last 4 relationships i was literally living with the person with in 2 months of meeting them. sleeping with people is just an easier way of breaking the wall and building a new wall with that person, unfortunately some guys and some gals have learnt that you can bust someones walls down and then run away while you still have your own. leaving the other person to build stronger walls for the next person.
    My analogy's are so bad so please forgive me :P hope you can understand.

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    • Might be easier to you but its not really a foundation for a good relationship imo. An lol its cool. Thank. you

  • For me, I'm in the B group. I'm in the firm belief that "physical is the easy part."

    There are some out there that can wait, they're just in the minority. It just seems like most people are just about the act of sex, w/o the "back" behind it.

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    • Ok thats great. I agree physical part is easy but clicking with someone and. emotionally connecting is slightly harder

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    • @Seriousness nobody said it wasn't lol huh.:S random. comment

    • asker, alwaysbelieving asked me question that's why i commented on his answer :P :P

  • nah it just looks different now. With all of the new technologies and stuff. People still wanna bang. You just gotta know how to attract them.

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  • Hey if it requires more then sending a? Text then it's not worth the effort

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What Girls Said 3

  • Times have changed in our culture that yes, more guys than before will attempt to go the hook up route or try to have sex quicker than before.

    On the other hand, girls now have more freedoms to explore, date, experiment, and get their career rolling. You take the good with the bad.

    That being said, I think you might be judging a guy simply based on him trying to sleep with you. Every guy since the beginning of time is interested in sleeping with you as soon as he's attracted to you. That's a male. We can't hate them for it, and it's in fact the reason why they're still the ones approaching and pursuing most of the time. It takes us a little longer to get up to speed with them.

    Disrespectful or pressuring behavior is obviously inexcusable. BUT, maybe give the guy another chance if he tries and you say "no." Can't blame a guy for trying. After all, if we expect them to be the manly, pursuers in this game, then that's what they're going to do in all aspects. If he decides he's no longer interested after, then good riddance you've lost nothing. But I suspect many will continue the dating process until you're ready, if they're looking for a girlfriend.

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    • Hey I make no judgements I just spoke of my personal experience and. uncertainty at finding a patient guy. If a guy wants just sex he. can. get it. from another girl it dont bother me. a guy wanting sex but it bothers me when they lie about wanting. more. I dont hate men at all lol. i even say guys are visual. More so then. girls. sowhen their attracted to a girl. they have sexual feelings iI get that totally. guys I've met tried. pressuring. me and speaking bs to try get some.

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    • Sorry you've had bad experiences. I more meant for those guys that try but still wanted something more. I guess I misunderstood what you were asking. Stay optimistic and good ones will come along.

    • Oh ok I see. Not met one who tries but wants more. Its ok. An thank. you.. maybe one day lol

  • courtship is still very much alive in my place/culture ^-^.. and even if for instance i'd be dating someone from other race he would have to adopt my dating culture and that means ideally to be at least one year of courtship.. no exception. if i feel that he seems to be in a hurry then i would also be in a hurry to turn him down. :)

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    • Is that many in your culture or just you and your family that you know of. Guys tend to hide it even the cultural folk. Whats your culture?

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    • Oh ok then in every race there are guys who dont stick to the rules. Thanks. also :)

    • @seriousness. So there's dating and then courting in the Filipino culture?

  • I love the idea of courting. I would rather be able to get to know the guy then automatically sleep with him.

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