What kind of initiatives happen when a guy tries to pull a sex move on you? like some said he'll grab your boob and that's how it gets started?

I'm a virgin, and I'm nervous about being alone with him a little. it's our 4th date and he wants me to go to his house to watch a movie which I'm okay with. and I could see myself having sex with this guy but I'm just not comfortable yet. I need more alone time with him without sex to feel comfortable

is it normal to talk to him or kind of tell him I'm not comfortable with it yet ahead of time? do people often do this? should I tell him I'm a virgin?

also I was molested and that's why it takes a bit longer to feel comfortable should I mention this before hand?

and lastly what kind of signs should I expect that would initiate he wants to have sex so I dont freak out about if it happens?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to be clear with yourself that you wanna have sex with him (do you want to be your first time with someone who loves you and cares for you, with whom you can see yourself in distant future) or not (maybe you are not ready). If you want to have sex with him, tell him that you are a virgin (sometimes your first time can be painful, so it is good for a guy to know that so that he can be gentle and doesn't make you feel awful). Maybe he is not ready to sleep with a virgin or doesn't want a romantic relationship, but just sex. It doesn't mean necessarily that he'll grab your boob. It can be a part of the foreplay, but if a guy knows it's your first time, he'll try to make it easy for you- pull you closer, maybe a heavy make out, kisses on other parts of your body (not only lips and neck), grabbing your a*** or even stimulate sex over clothes (it is pretty nice if you're not ready to loose your virginity and it can loosen you both up). If you're not comfortable with something, just say it. Just relax and enjoy.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You don't have to unload your entire past to him. Just be clear with him that you don't want to have any sex yet. If he is curious enough and you feel comfortable with him knowing it, then you can tell him. Don't go to his house though.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well, I don't know the guy in question, but regarding to your first question, a sex move is anything that makes you feel aroused. For example, if he grabs your boob and they hurt because you're close to your period, then you can just answer with a kiss and move his hand so he grabs something else, for example, butt. Yes, probably you should tell him you're a virgin so he knows he has to be careful with the hymen. Next, keep in mind this wouldn't be molestation, this is an entirely different situation, you've chosen to do this, and by going to his house, it's like giving him permission to do it (probably people will kind of tell me to go to hell, but yes, going to your bf's house alone is pretty much like saying "yup I'm up for sex"), if you think you'll freak out and react as when you were molested, then probably you shouldn't go to his house and should drop the news about the molestation and being a virgin and all of that before, on a safer environment, where you feel ok, see how he reacts, see if he's not freaked out, etc.

    There are no "signs" to tell you that he wants to initiate sex, probably he's going to give you a tour on his place, and then you'll be watching the movie and will make out and that will take to petting and that to sex... probably he'll tell you right away what he wants, probably he isn't even going to think about it :)

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    • oh I'm aware that if I give consent and let him then it's not molestation lol, and he's not my boyfriend yet, we've just been on a few dates and I've only known him about 2 weeks ish maybe less.

      what I was saying is that for me to feel comfortable with him to actually have sex I feel like I'd need to be alone with him a few times before... you know work up to it lol should I tell him that before hand? or after he grabs my boob lol

    • yes you should tell him, there's nothing wrong on being open, if he can't handle it, they maybe he shouldn't be there, that's part of who you are, probably you should wait a little longer before going to his house

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