I don't understand women

I don't understand women at all. In high school, I got real close to a girl and never had the balls to ask her out. She then moved on and I am kicking my self every day because of this. Never really liked anyone else since. Just recently, I got these signals from a girl I knew for a while that suggested she liked me. I was pretty certain on these signals and didn't want the same thing happening again. We hung out a couple times, talked, and texted. She then told me she "didn't like me like that". What makes me mad is I don't have luck with women at all. I don't know what to say, do, etc. I am a real nice guy and it makes me mad that all the assholes at school always gets the girls. Ahhhhhhhhh!

I just needed to rant.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all change the way you think. If you think that you can't get have something then you won't, if you believe its already yours then you likely get it. Its called the law of attraction, wiki it.

    Secondly we don't necessarily go for those other guys, we complain about them just as much as you, but unlike the "nice guys" they're come off more assertive and confidant which (at least for me) means that if I ever got into a place where I'm bitting off a little too much I can count on him to be my stronger half(I don't mean beat up other guys...thats insane).Also it means that he wouldn't depend on me to stand up for him. He's independent, that's hott no matter who you're into.

    Plus because the come off slightly more confidant, and yeah we're confusing confidence with cocky, they're a bit of a challenge...girls like to chase a little too, you know.

    Idk, Even though I was on a dating strike...here's how my cute super nice guy friend got me to start dating him: Platonic. Buddy! Platonic, Flirt, disappear. Teasing. Concern about my daily life, flirt, give me advice, get appropriately touchy wait for + response then suddenly platonic friend, Flirt even more...hug, disappear for a little bit, platonic, slightly less concern. Now I'm curious, over my ego, and he hasn't been an jerk I start to consider that him and I would be a pretty nice thing. I start crushing...and can no longer tell if he's crushing back.

    I become compelled to get his attention, suggesting outings (him tricking me into asking him out) where I'm wearing my "d@nm!" outfits, classy/covered but when I walk through a room I hear a few under the breath, eye poppin, "d@nm!"

    I tease him a little . Him, poker face but flirting a tiny bit more...then bam I gleefully agree to start dating, because really I was excited that I was RIGHT, he was SO into me. And...I feel like an idiot, I knew what he was doing, he got me second guess myself just enough to give him a real chance. And I got use to the idea, because well...he's cute and we been friends long enough that that there's a lot of trust and respect of the each others personality, which means almost 0 fighting.

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What Girls Said 10

  • The ass holes get the girls in high school. Because most of them are dumb and don't know what they want. They think they want a bad boy because they think they'll be the only girl in the world that can make him see his ways and change just for her. Bullsh*t. Grown women who know what they want in life and in a man want the nice guy. They want the sweetheart that is kind funny honest and faithful. I don't know what signals you think you read though. What indication did she give to make you think she was interested?

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  • lol dude. I'm in the same position. its damn irratating when you think someone likes you and then find out they don't after getting so close. I was crushed when this guy told me he didny like me. buy you know what, I looked in the mirror and thought I'm ay too good for him and he so wouldn't be able to handle me. so try it. it worked for me. and I also thought that he may like those slutty girls. but whatever you do, don't change for anyone. be who you are and there might be someone waiting to make their move on you...all the best.

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  • Ok so you've liked two girls and haven't had the balls to ask them out...boo-friggin-hoo. No offence but it's not the biggest sap story in the world! You just work up the courage and ask them out. It doesn't help to whinge about other guys getting the girls when you won't ask them out. Just ask and get it over and done with. Oh and DON"T ask a girl out just because you think she likes you. If you like her yes but not just for the sake of it.

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  • We love men to approach us, believe it or and out women are alt more traditional then men would like to think so next time suckit up and take a chance or you will never k now most people miss out becasue they are to affraid of rejection but you will never know unless you try.

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  • some girls are afraid of losing guys as friends...especially the nice ones because nice guys are really hard to find...and they don't want things to end badly...but if she knows you like her, the thought of you guys being together is bound to cross her mind sometime

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  • Get some balls and ask them out. If your turned down say ok. Then ask if you can be friends. Mabe over time she will like you. when she gets to know you more. A lot of girls don't like a guy right of the bat and want to date and so on. They want to start out friends and take the time for you to get to know each other.

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  • SHOW that you're interested and TELL HER;; I know it might hurt to be rejected many times but just keep trying .

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  • i hear you... why flirt if you have absolutely NO attraction to that person at all!

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  • Yea... sorry we're weird... Ur never gunna get us... hell we barley get us!

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  • I don't get men.

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What Guys Said 6

  • OK, so I might come off sounding like an asshole saying this, but... the only sure way to hit the bullseye is to throw a lot of darts.

    You've thrown two darts! 0-for-2 doesn't really mean much. Take it easy, ask out more girls, and get more comfortable with the prospects of failure and success. Otherwise you might come off as desperate or fragile, and that's scary to a lot girls (and not without good reason).

    If that doesn't work, move to someplace where not all the girls date assholes and try again. I'm being serious, I swear.

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  • If you're single (and I think this goes for ladies too) you shouldn't focus all of your affections on one person. You should get out have fun and participate in activities other than just partying. That way you become an interesting person and will meet new guys and girls. You will then be able to create a list of girls who peak your interest. If it doesn't work with one, then move onto another. You'll have fun conversations like, "Naw, man. She's off the list. I found out she's a cutter!"

    As for getting signals from a girl, there's an old saying, "He who hesitates, masturbates." A man of action is preferable to a woman. Just hanging out with her like you would with another guy minus all the sex jokes or what not isn't going to light any fires. You have to flirt early on. Playfully tease her, make extended eye contact, engage in non-sexual touching. That makes it easier for you to know if she wants you which makes it easier for you to transition to kissing her. Unless this is milf porn, a chick will not come out and tell you she wants you. This is just the way of the world.

    I felt exactly the same way at your age. I just didn't get it (don't worry, I'm not going to try to sell you a product at the end of this). But what those "assholes" had over the "nice guys" was confidence. "Nice guys" often loose this through socialization. Imagine being confident and not an asshole. That would be an attractive combination.

    If any of this seems too out of your grasp at the moment, the best way to build confidence, especially as a man, is to be good at something. That's the start. Cultivate areas of interest. That way you will become even smarter and gain experience. Also, philosophize. Find out who you really are and what you believe in. All of these things are building blocks of confidence.

    "If you build it, they will come" And hopefully you will too.

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  • Sounds like something I wrote in 1980!

    Women who go for the bad boys are never going to change man. And I pretty well promise you that whe they reach age 40+ and they finish up their third or fourth lousy marriage you will hear them moan and complain how all men are the same. Well... DUUUHHHHHH! If you constantly gravitate to the same kind of man YES THEY ARE! So Who is at fault?

    You might be looking for your ladies in the wrong places man. Try looking in places where the women have a little bit of moral fiber to them. I know it sounds corny but go to church. stick with areas where the bad boy lovers don't go. Your success at finding a woman that has her head screwed on differently will change.

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  • Don't beat yourself up about it. Relax and ask a girl out, and if that doesn't work then its okay, there are more fish in the sea. And just like prettybella said, try becoming good friends with some of these girls and then see what happens after that. Be yourself and don't change for anyone, and be confident in yourself.

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  • Make sure you have confidence in yourself and your actions. Try to be a little more assertive when going after girls.

    People noticed confidence fast, and they are more likely to approach you.

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  • sack up

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