Is forbidding a lover from drinking alcohol ever again because of infidelity wrong?

Long story short, my girlfriend recently did something with another guy while she was drunk and I was hurt badly but I forgave her.

I took an oath with her that neither of us would ever drink ever again, I told her If she ever drinks again even a little bit, I would leave and we would only be friends. She got upset because of it.

I'm not asking for pity, just is it too much of a demand? Be honest

  • yes
    80% (4)50% (4)62% (8)Vote
  • no
    20% (1)50% (4)38% (5)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Side note , I did give her permission to drink with her family only because its her tradition at the end of the year to do so with wine.

0|0
3|8

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think there's anything wrong with that, since you included yourself in
    the no drinking thing not just her. However, I know you said "she did something
    with a guy while she was drunk". How do you know that she won't do the samething
    again, only this time sober? I get that you want to prevent another cheating incident
    and all. But, whether she's drunk as skunk or stone cold sober. There's nothing
    stopping her from hurting you again. Truth is, if she did once and you forgave.
    She might just do it again. I'm not telling you this to freak you out, I just think you should
    be aware. But, no I don't think what you asking of her is too much. Because, as I said
    you're participating in it too. So, nothing wrong with that.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • My daughter had the same issue... so I think I understand a little better than most. First of all, true, alcohol is not to blame... it's the way a person reacts while on alcohol that's the problem. My daughter would lose complete control, whether she drank too little or too much was of no consequence, her reaction would always be the same. She would black out and do things she later regretted. So when a person has no control over themselves when they drink, I think it's only fair, for the sake of the relationship to ask them to no longer drink... the fact that you are willing to stop as well is very generous of you, especially since you're not the one with the problem. My daughter has also stopped drinking willingly for the sake of her relationship, she knows if she ever drinks again, her relationship will be doomed to fail.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks, I know im being unreasonable but I just want to ensure our future together

  • That's kind of ridiculous, you said you forgave her, you then can't hold it over her head like that

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 8

  • I think that's absurd and if ether of you are average young adults, not a realistic expectation. You should demand she drink responsibly rather than reinstate prohibition on the consumption of alcohol.

    That being said, alcohol doesn't make people do things they don't already want to do, it just gives them the apathy required to ignore the consequences- the booze is INNOCENT! Have mercy! Say no to prohibition!

    0|1
    0|0
    • I actually agree, alcohol just dissolves your evaluation system of consequences, aka you are less likely to think and more likely to do. But even when I was drunk, people could not get me to smoke cigarettes...

  • I don't think any victim of cheating is wrong to require conditions for the continuation of the relationship.

    Whether it's wise to require conditions, or whether it's wise even to continue the relationship, is another matter. Personally I would dump any girl who cheated on me. But, it's up to you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • "Don't ever drink booze ever again" is a long way past "Don't ever get drunk and cheat on me again". You're not forgiving, you're punishing.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You can not force someone to change. Only God can keep promises. Promises are made to be broken. I do not see anything morally wrong with that, but obedience out of fear will never topple obedience out of love. In my opinion sounds like your relationship has some holes.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think that is a bit excessive, considering we sometimes drink champagne for celebrating family reunions and stuff. Your morality is incompatible, though. and you are the one who takes the relation more seriously.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dump that slut.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Should have broken up with her. By forgiving her you gave her permission to do it again with no consequences.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Of course it is. You're trying to control your partner because you're insecure and don't trust her.

    That is weakness of the lowest sort.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Tbf, he doesn't trust her while she's drunk. Also, he's insecure because she cheated. Given what he's said, that seems reasonable.
      I don't think it's weakness. Besides, he said he won't drink either so he's not being unfair IMO.

    • It's weakness because if it mattered that much he should break up with her, not try to control her with ultimatums.

Loading...