Can she really be THIS scared?

I have been talking to a wonderful lady for a while now. It began as friends, but it has turned into more, for both of us. The only problem is, her last serious relationship, she was physically and sexually abused and now is very scared. I can understand that and we are taking it slow. The only problem is, she says she is even too scared to give me a phone number or a picture. We are 10 hours away, so even if I were a "bad person" I wouldn't have easy access to her. Can someone be so scared that they would even be afraid of giving their number out? Or is this something I should be looking into this more?


Most Helpful Girl

  • of course, she was beaten and raped/sexually assaulted by someone she trusted completely so its natural she's not going to trust complete strangers either. What if you were her ex posing as someone else because he can't let go? what if you were lying about where you lived and wanted to take advantage of vulnerable people? the internet is full of liars and to a paranoid person you could be anyone with any motivation. just take things slowly with her and show her you are nothing like her ex and you're someone she can truly trust.


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What Girls Said 2


    What has happened to her before you was traumatic and that is more than an OK response.

    She is protecting herself!

    If you are genuinely interested in her, be patient. If you can do that and little by little build up her trust, you could save her from her past.

    However, keep in mind. If she does end up going out with you, she will have a TON of emotions and paranoia because of what happened. If you do love her and you can help her, then FANTASTIC! BUT: being someone else's mental support as well as your own can be very tolling... Take care of yourself too. :)

    If she doesn't end up wanting to date you, you could just try to help her re-learn that the majority of guys are NOT monsters.

  • dude she isn't even that scared... anyone who's been there would be loads more scared, you're lucky you two are even talking


What Guys Said 1

  • the very simple answer is yes. her faith and sense of trust in men was significantly destroyed in an abusive relationship so she is weary about trusting any man. the easiest way most humans think they can protect themselves is to keep people away