She's worth it, but gives off too many confusing signs?

So I met this girl through an online dating app and we ended up going on a couple dates and things were going well. I felt we were giving good vibes on the dates, she initiated a lot of our conversations over text, we were flirting, etc. However, my emotions got the best of me and I DTR'd too early. I told her how I felt and asked her what she felt about me. She told me how her last bf wasn't into her as much as she was, she's really busy etc. She pretty much avoided my question. And she said she only wanted to stay friends, so at that point I feel like giving up. But right after the conversation she asked if we still wanted to go to this game that I proposed to her earlier and she wanted to share a book together for class. I make another mistake by telling her that I wasn't looking for a friendship and that my whole intention was to date her. She responds saying that the time we knew each other was too short and that she is firm on staying friends now, but not necessarily in the future. I can tell it's awkward, but I feel like she's still giving off signs. Should I just give it time?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You moved in too fast on your First formal date, sweetie, so this gave her a mixed bag of blues right there. And she most likely gave it some hard nose fact thoughts that you wanted something More than she does right now, so she has to be this Honest John in studdering everything straight out as she "Avoided my question" she is trying not to have to explain herself anymore.. it's clear, dear. I see the writing on the wall.
    Stay friends for now. The best relationships start off by nursing and nurturing a friendship that could possibly bloom into something more Real down the road. And it doesn't have to be down this beaten path just because she wants to be buds right now and just feel things out. She has asked you out, wants to hang out so this is a good start and a good beginning to your beguine. No one says you have to stay hooked at the hip in waiting on a whim and a prayer, so if you see someone you might want to date, no strings attached, just go for it.. the ball is now in your court.
    If you do feel awkward after all of this, then maybe it is best to not even be friends. It's your call, your choice and being that the future looks uncertain with her and you do want more in store, there is no guarantees here but death and taxes.
    Good luck. xx

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What Girls Said 4

  • She's using you. Quit it and go elsewhere. Tell her you were just interested in dating her and that you can't cope just being friends with her, so that it would be better for you to loose contact. If she tells you that you are immature or an ass, then its her problem. Put yourself first.

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    • What gives you the impression she's using me? I understand that if she doesn't feel the same way, I move on it's simple. But the fact that she still wants to hang out and gives various signs is just mind boggling.

    • She is not into you, but at the same time she likes the attention that you give her because no one else is giving her the time of the day like you are. She's using you as an ego stroker

  • Stay friends, because something could happen. But I would say stop initiating dates, or conversations. If she wants you in her life, she'll make the effort. For now, try and go out and enjoy your life.

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  • just be friends and see what happens there's nothing wrong with that she's been honest saying just want to be friends

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  • How long have you known her? Online and off?

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    • Total, about a month. I realize that I should have handled the situation differently, but in the end all I wanted was to confirm if we were headed towards the right direction. I guess she thought I wanted to be her girlfriend at that point? Although that was not my intention.

What Guys Said 1

  • Keep your options open, but maybe keep the friendship going and see where and if SHE takes it you know [because right now you have no play with her, she's set the tempo]. Don't be taking her out constantly buying dinners, but maybe put in just enough work where it might go somewhere.

    With that said no reason you can't get a friend outta it while you keep playing the field. Believe me if she was on a dating site she's still getting spammed to hell especially if she's good looking.

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