Why is it that the more effort a guy puts into a relationship, the less effort women put into a relationship?

Why is it that the more effort a guy puts into a relationship, the less effort women put into a relationship?

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Refreshing the question. Its really easy to answer...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because, generally, the bigger mismatch in interest level, the harder we try.

    If you're both really interested, it feels magical and easy. If neither are interested, no effort is expended. When one person is more interested, the effort seems bigger.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It's because the relationship is maintained through the effort of 2 people so if one puts in extra effort - it means the woman doesn't have to put in as much effort to keep it going.

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  • Because it might feel too easy to slip into giving the bare minimum. If you're giving in 90% effort we feel like we don't need to give in much effort because we already have you 'wrapped around our finger' in a sense.

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    • But what if it makes the guy feel unwanted and unappreciated? Do the girls even care

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    • Well I'll tell you about my current situation. You're my ex, and I'm the girl you don't understand. My ex put in so much more effort than I did, and I took it all for granted because I expected him to always stay with me. Now we're not together, stuck in the same apartment, and I really regret how I treated him. If you love this girl, and can see yourself seriously being together forever (or even for a long time), give her some sort of ultimatum. Tell her you want her to put in an effort or you have to let her go. It's not fair for you to put in 110% and for her to try only half as much, if that. She probably expects you to bow down to her and do everything for her like I did with my ex. But trust me, giving her a reality check into your 'relationship' will help you both understand where your feelings are at. Maybe she wants to break up, or maybe she's like me and just assumes she doesn't need to put an effort in. Either way, you need to talk to her...

    • ... Because then she will understand how you feel. I hope everything goes okay for you. Let her know EXACTLY how you feel. Try and create a new thing between you two and explain to her exactly what you need from her. Clarity is key in this situation. If worse comes to worse, take a break from her, and act like you're moving on. The way she reacts to that will give you a clear understanding of how she feels about you.

  • well I don't think all women are like that and also the most effort women put in a relationship the less effort some men put into it. I guess is because since the other side put a lot of effort the other person thinks that relationship is excellent and unbreakable so this person feels there's nothing she/he has to do to make it better.

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What Guys Said 2

  • - crashed my ex gfs car
    - she dumped me
    hows that for effort

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  • Sounds like you should do nothing so she does all the work then

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