Girl problems...Should I figure myself out and get back to it?

so basically...I have this story...link below

link

Follow up from story:

So now I'm 16, gonna be 17 in september, and I feel like I've grown cold, and heartless. I don't show a whole lot of emotion anymore, and I feel like it's hurting my chances with girls, and I feel like I should figure myself out and try to change it...Do you agree?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i think ur in a gud place honestly...i have and am in the same situation so I can totally understand..i do have a boyfriend currently but I still have that cold feeling...dont worry bout it..when you meet that right one ull wake up..believe me...dont let the pressure of having to have a gurl get to ya...it really isn't tha serious..live life to the fullest and when the time comes it comes..take it easy...nuthing is wreong with u!ive even had guys tell me I'm cold hearted but I don't let tha faze me becuz I kno who I am and what I'm made of...so don't be discouraged...take life slow and see what it will bring u

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What Girls Said 2

  • What a tough way to enter into the world of relationships. I know it's difficult to see past the hurt, but you need to understand that sometimes bad things happen to good people. There wasn't anything you did wrong, or anything about you that deserved what she put you through.

    Our hearts can be so tender and easily bruised; it is understandable that your reaction to this whole situation would be to withdraw and try to figure out what went wrong. Just know that your behavior had nothing to do with her choices - whatever is wrong with her belongs to only her. Knowing how she was so deliberately manipulative should tell you that you would not have been the only victim of her callous actions. No matter what you would have done, or did do, or even didn't do - it would have ended the same way.

    Taking time to heal and reflect on this is the best way to handle it - even the strongest person needs time to recover. Hopefully it won't affect your ability to trust and love in the future. If it does, then you have given her too much power. She would have found a way to manipulate you for life - don't give her that satisfaction. She is so not worth it. Like the gentleman said below - what goes around comes around. You may not be around to witness her downfall - but it's coming.

    Good luck, and I wish you the best.

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  • I think you should try to figure yourself out first. No one wants to enter a relationship with someone with a great deal of emotional baggage. Because guess what? Your significant other will get the sh*tty end of the stick. It would not be fair to her. My advice, do some soul searching ( I know you're young). This will allow you to enter your twenties with a more bold and confident approach towards life and relationships. Optimism is a powerful thing. Keep in mind, as far as getting hurt, these things happen. This was something you had no control over. Forgive the person, learn from the experience, and move on.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Dude, just read the link...That was a totally messed up situation. I agree with everything Adam0889 said. Just know that you deserve better, and that the right girl will come along one day. If thinking about relationships is too troublesome, just drop the subject temporarily and try to enjoy everything else in your life (friends, family, school, hobbies, interests, goals, etc.). Even make new friends, look into new hobbies, find new and exciting stuff to learn or get involved in. Volunteer in your community--helps you out big time to sort your emotions when you're busy helping other people. I guess my point is, trying to have some fun and allowing yourself to grow as a person should take the edge off.

    It's so easy not to trust girls after something like what you went through--but know that all girls won't be the same (emotionally secure and psychologically stable girls will never act the way your ex did). Let friendships develop slowly and naturally with other people. I guess I don't know what to say really, but hopefully these ideas will be of some use. Good luck bro.

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  • Dude, I have an idea of what you are feeling... Several times I've asked myself if I can really love someone again.. I've been hurt by many girls before.. and it sucks ass, but really, you just gotta pick yourself back up and get out there again... I mean, have some confidence in yourself. Just take... HOLY FUCK... I just noticed that link... Dude that's one of the most f***ed up things I've ever heard... Girls like that aren't right in the head... That is definitely a horrible first relationship... And an even worse way for her to choose between guys.. You got played HARD... I can see why you are so irate over the whole ordeal, I know I would be too.. Especially after that slap when you only wanted an explanation... I'll tell you this, Karma WILL come back to haunt her after something like that dude. I too have been hurt in similar, f***ed up ways...

    But I think I agree, take some time and heal yourself, it may take a lot of time, but during that time, be on the look out for a nice girl... One that you can be proud to have a relationship with... Some girl will come along and just melt your heart. But you need to gain your emotion back, trust me, after something like that, it will take time to be able to feel again... It sucks and can be frustrating at times, but I know it will get better for ya man. Figure your sh*t out and fix it, don't let it get worse... and believe me, after so many girls hurt me, your feelings sort of morph and there can be some gray areas on what you are feeling... But just think it out and then decide. Best of luck to you man.

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  • Oh teen angst...

    You'll get over it...it's a bumpy ride...but you'll get comfortable with the fact that the majority of people are stupid and awful...

    but back to the question...don't hide who you are...you'll get over it.

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  • If your havin girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

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