I'm interested in a relationship after starting things casual. Too late?

I've been seeing a guy for 3 wks that I met through a gaming group. I've known him for 8 months. He texts me all day, every day to talk about our day, to say good morning, goodnight, discuss gaming group, music, TV, sex (mostly), and say mushy things like couples do. We dislike talking on the phone. We saw eachother 2x weekly doing: 2 scheduled dates at a bar & 2 last minute sleepovers where we had sex, then cuddled and kissed all night. He treated me to a cafe breakfast last Sat. I got sexual with him quickly (1st date) since I recently ended a 10 yr relationship & figured sex comes first and if a relationship happens, great. if not, at least it's fun. I told him so. Details: Last Monday I agreed to our 2nd late minute sleep over. I joked in the morning "sorry if that seemed bootycallish" He showed in his body language that it bothered him that I said that & told me he considers it a sleepover. He had said earlier that he invited me because he knew he would be too busy to see me until next week. Turns out that "busy" meant doing nothing but relaxing while texting me almost nonstop. If he's seeing anyone else, he's ignoring them. Is it a bad sign that he wanted to wait till the following week to see me again? The last 2 weeks, he wanted to see me again by Thur/Fri. On Tues I suggested making plans to meet up (to discourage last min "sleepovers") and he enthusiastically said he was thinking the same and that he'll plan something. Then he asked me for ideas. It's Sunday and he hasn't brought up going out yet. Another weird thing is that he doesn't want us to "kiss and tell" within the gaming group because "it's not their business to know or care." Is that always a red flag? We acted like friends at the last event. It seems we're functionally friends with benefits to the fault of mine. Question is, does there seem to be any chance of a real relationship or is it too late? What is the best way to ask without making a big stink out of it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i don't think you ruined your chances, i more feel this guy isn't serious about you and is stringing you along. when you made the reference about it seeming like a booty-call, he only seemed bothered because that was a way of making u believe that he wanted more from you than just that. now that you don't mention it anymore and your the one who initiates these get together's he seems to have you just as he wanted. He also suggests plans for you guys to go out and then neglects them when asked about it because this what you guys have is obviously not important to him. who acts like friends when they go out to an event together or doesn't want people to know about them when they are in a relationship unless they are truly seeing someone else and doesn't want to get caught or not ready to deal with what comes with being in a committed relationship. my advice is to move on

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What Guys Said 2

  • You've got a chance if there is still that strong chemistry. Just make your expectations clear, and try to move forward one step at a time.

    If you make it clear what you want, and how you want things to be - without being overbearing about it - it makes it easy for him to give you what you want - which is that real relationship.

    "Hey I'm really into you - but I want this to be a real thing. Do you want that?"

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  • It does sound like it has a chance. He may not to have said anything because he isn't ready for all the questions. Gamer chicks are hard to find, he probably sees that as a positive if things go further. It is funny when I hear friends with benefits as I think of my wife , and she of me, as best friends.

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