If guys find me attractive what could be preventing them from asking me out?

So I am bit shy with the males. Even when they compliment me I do not know how to deal with it. As I do have low self esteem. So when a guy does say nice things I dont believe it or just think he's after some booty.

Out and about I've approached a guy twice this year. Both times ended badly but I did get their number but it didn't work out after a date with one of them he was far too into working then having a gf so we no longer talk.

My interaction levels with guys have hit an all time low last year I was more outgoing an now I've become bit reclused. So when I do go out guys stare but dont come on over an I keep thinking what am I doing wrong?

When I go to clubs or bars. Guys tell me I am beautiful but thats about it an most of them want to hook up and nothing more which is why I avoid those places now.

In my. neighborhood guys say I am fit and stare but seem to have an intimidated sort of look on their face. This one guy I thought is cute. Turns around when he sees me and goes all awkward on me so I guess he dont like me. You guys can see my other question for my interactions with him.

I just feel like I am unaproachable but would a guy see it that way or think I am a stuck up cow? lol


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your face expression is probably serious looking and might make guys think that you don't want any of them. I just checked out your profile pic and your beautiful I like your hair but your face expression is somewhat like mine it looks serious and makes people think you don't want any one to approach you. Just work on smiling more when you notice a guy looking at you because your intimidating to them and if you like the guy that's looking at you try giving him a smile.

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    • Aw thanks thats sweet well the pics serious as it was for modelling shoot in london. I see your point tho deffo

What Guys Said 7

  • "so when a guy does say nice things, i don't believe it or just think he's after some booty."
    here's a tip, we are ALL after some booty. its the path we take to get there that differs. some are just disrespectfully direct, others use the right channels, dates, getting to know you etc. when a guy tells you nice things and you start thinking ^that^ he can tell, also that kind of thinking will affect your reactions and make you shut them out. once you do that, they think you are a B word and move on. are you starting to get the picture of why most just look at you awkwardly?

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    • Well the ones who look awkward haven't even tried talking to me so no that dont make sense no

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    • well hopefully I've made you realize we aren't all the same. good luck out there

    • You have :) thanks very much for answering.

  • Most guys are actually quite nice, when someone says nice things you should give him a chance and not just think "he's after some booty". If he ís after some booty, you can dump him a few seconds later.

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    • Well noone has been recently anyway

    • Also, if you're looking for someone who is not a douchebag, stay out of clubs. You can meet good guys on the streets, in school, the library, on the beach... You basically only need the opportunity to talk and get to know eachother.

    • I have said in my question I dont go clubs anymore

  • Smile more

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  • Sounds like you're going to the wrong places.

    IE, in clubs and bars most guys will be looking for casual hookups first and foremost - which you say you're not interested in.

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    • Oh, and this is something that (depending on the girl & guy) people will often pick up on, and not approach because of it.

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    • Fair point - in that case, where are you approaching people / meeting people?

    • In neighborhood, pubs parties etc I dont approach

  • You probably look unapproachable by your body language.

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    • In what way lol. Closed off?

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    • THANK YOU!!! OMG. so you sense it too right @yaddayaddayadda02 I thought I was going insane. she sparked off at me right after asking my opinion, and then tried to rebottle by saying I don't know her when all I'm doing is only answering to a little portion of her life. a perfect example of people who come on here with their mind already set on what they want to hear.
      @Asker , he is one of the Top xpers for a reason. so if you say his answer is weak because its not what you want to hear... good luck out there hon. all I know is we tried. I know what you want to hear, but I'm going to stick with telling you the truth and if you don't like it, go to my profile and read my motto.

    • I asked for guys opinions not boys @Tdiesler an so what if he has high xper do I care. Noone on here affects my life in anyway. You was condescending an I responded well if you dont like my question dont answer simple really this is my post so why would I even go in your profile kmao fools

  • Do you give the I just killed someone look? a lot of girls do

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    • No I dont think so

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    • Maybe there are, but different people have different tastes, and if a lot of people stare at you, then it just means many think you are attractive, you probably are just underestimating your appearance

    • Thanks yeah probably right l

  • U look bitch but sexy

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    • Oh wow. Lol my profile pic was fr

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    • Bitchy and men take it as stuck up or if some look high maintenance they don't bother and save themselves she agony lmao

    • Well I am nothing like that. Total opposite to that

What Girls Said 4

  • Mmm.. They might think you're stuck up. A lot of people who don't know me think I'm stuck up just because I'm quiet. In my public speaking class my classmate at the end of the semester said that him and the rest of the guys thought I was stuck up until I did my speeches. That's when I would be all smiley and make people laugh and shit.
    If you smile more people might come up to you.
    It also may just be where you're at, idk.
    A lot of guys have no problem approaching girls here bitchy, or sweet.

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  • I think since your relationship with those two guys has not been great. so you have lost the confidence in you. At times this same confidence attracts guys a lot. i feel your quite stuck up too at the moment too. But don't live in the past, live for your future. Dont think about guys so much just love and have confidence in yourself and guys will soon come behind you soon. also, when your stuck up the guys come to know so they just leave you alone.
    Trust me love yourself , guys will be after for you and don't live in the past because the same things are not going to happen all the time.

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    • Stuck up? How. I am not like that at all. Thanjs a lot

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    • Of course you need to ask someone out.. then if your not stuck up.

    • So cus im shy I am stuck up. Thats incorrect. Stuck up means thinking I am better then everyone and people beneath me. I am the opposite of that with my low self. esteem. issues?

  • I understand your confusion. I'm in a similar situation. I often get the same kind of compliments, but nothing concrete happens.
    No worries, you don't have any problem. It's just that you haven't attracted the right attention yet ;)
    Just go on with your life, live for yourself, not for the guys. Girls who have a life and love it not for the attention they might get are tons more attractive.
    Good luck! ;)

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  • they might think you're already taken.. they're afraid to get turned down.

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