How to tell if I'm being stood up by a girl I asked out?

So I met this really cute girl at a Halloween party, we were both pretty drunk, she told me that I'm pretty cute. Anyway, I worked up the courage to ask her out for coffee, she wrote her name and phone number down, so far there are only three things I know about her: 1) Fitz and the Tantrums is her favorite band; 2) she's 18 and a Band student; and 3) she's adorable.

Anyway, I woke up the next morning excited (but hungover), and called her, wanting to know when she was available for a coffee date, she told me she had just woken up but we could talk later. I've called her a few times since then but all's I'm getting is voice-mail. I feel shitty about waking her up when she was probably hungover so I feel like I fucked things up.

I guess I'm wondering if she thinks it's a mistake since we were both drunk, but then again she could just frankly tell me that she's no longer interested. If not, should I assume she's not really punctual about answering her phone? I'm seriously losing sleep over this :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you called her too early, but calling her the next day was not a bad idea. I mean it is great to do it, while she is still fresh from your encounter you know? While the flame was still up as they say. I would have called her in the afternoon though, not in the morning lol. Waking her up was a bad idea, i think you blew it there bro. Either that, or she doesn't remember you and she just regrets giving her number to a drunk guy while she was drunk. Some girls might not be in all of their senses when that happens. It happens you know, when a girl wakes up in a guys bed or with a guy she barely knows and then feels remorse for doing that. This might be the same situation.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I would say you are trying too hard, I have been in your position and I kept texting him and he lost interest. I would say wait maybe 3 days and text her asking how her day has been, if she texts back then great if not, then move on, I know its hard to do but it will be worth it :)

    • Can't I send her a frank message asking if she's still interested or she thinks it's a mistake? I feel a bit hurt if the latter is the case and she won't let me know.

    • No. Play it cool.

    • yes play it cool, she could just be busy and need a few days, asking her if she is interested will put her off, but I know what its like to want to know a clear answer

What Guys Said 1

  • You were too eager. She may think your too clingy now. You must wait for 3 days and as ann. Said Ask how her day was. Then SLOWLY take it from there. Yes it is frustrating girls often just ignore the situation rather than tell you they are no longer interested. If it doesn't work out then chalk it up to experience. If she thought about going for coffee with you, someone else will too. Now it is important not to look too eager or girls take it as a sign of neediness and run for the hills. If you act like it is no big deal then they are more likely to stay interested because it is a sign you are comfortable with yourself and your life, and may have other prospects, which also shows you are someone to be interested in. In other words: play it cool. Always. Got me?