I laughed at him when his card declined?

I don't think the guy I was dating likes me anymore because I laughed when his card declined at a restaurant.

It wasn't a "haha you're broke" kind of laugh. It was a "haha I can't believe that happened" kind of laugh.

When he was told it declined I laughed and immediately took my card out and paid for us. I made no other mention of it while he was taking me home but when I contacted him the next day he said I was very rude and classless. wtf.

Am I at fault? What should i do?

  • He's stupid and dramatic.
    43% (15)28% (12)35% (27)Vote
  • I'm rude and classless.
    57% (20)72% (31)65% (51)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think your reaction was cool, you could of left him hanging but without a beat stepped up, for all the whiny little boys & girls who agree with his lame logic, girls can pay for dates & many of us get nervous laughter I do? & I've had my card declined or ran out of cash & my SO or friend helped me out & I just laugh tell them I owe them & pay them when I get back home like jeez people learn to have a sense of humour...

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What Guys Said 28

  • You should apologize, even though it wasn't meant to be rude. It was rude, and disrespectful. He is embarrassed and you laughing didn't help. Even if you had no mean intentions it is still rude.

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  • Am I the only one that thinks you behaved perfectly normal? If it were my card declined, I would've laughed myself. I would've been greatful that you had yours to save us and I would've thanked you lol.
    I think everyone is assuming he knew how much money he had and was hoping it was enough. I'm assuming it was a mistake, he forgot about a purchase he made or something and didn't have as much money in it as he thought he did. Happens to me sometimes.

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    • Me too! It's happened to me a couple times. And it was never some traumatic event so I felt I was safe to laugh.

  • I don't think the situation is straight forward black and white. On one hand you laughed at something that happened but you know why and how it was meant but to the outside observer it might have been conceived differently. But on the other hand you stepped up and paid for the meal without rubbing it in his face because you don't know why his card was declined.
    I think you two just need to talk about it and clear the air and everything will be ok if that's what you want. :)

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  • Sounds like he owes you head for covering his ass.

    Most banks have apps on the app stores/android markets that allow you to check your balance, etc. I downloaded the Chase app so I can check my balance at anytime. It's his fault for being on top of his current money game, all he had to do was download a damn app lol.

    While your laughter was not meant to be rude, it felt rude to him because you put him on shame blast. He's already embarassed from not being able to afford the damn meal and thus giving a broke impression to you. On top of that you make a mockery of him by laughing and obliterate some of his self worth by showing that you're packing more cash and can hold your own. This dude must have had a bit of a superiority complex too if he dumps you over this.

    You could suggest a cheaper place for the next date or insist you want to take him out and show him a good time.

    Personally if that was me, you'd be a keeper. Instead of bailing out on me with a bill I couldn't afford, you coughed up the dough. Cleary that's a sign you like him enough that you're willing to pay despite the fact HE invited you.

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    • Yes to the first sentence! Haha

      I feel the same way. I'm a keeper. I could have told the waiter to split the bill and paid for my half only. But I wouldn't never do him like that.

  • I feel sorry for old boy. He possibly saved all his money to take you out and impress you with a nice diner and had expected to impress you and he was short $1.27 and got declined. You got to feel for old boy, he was expecting to get some and all he got was his nuts handed to him in a doggy bag.

    Call him and ask him for a do over. Tell him you are bring your card as a back up.

    It was funny but you did it all wrong. If you had a few drinks and burst out laughing, I possibly would have done the same thing. You know there are some guys who stick the date with the bill with hopes of another date. If this was his plan the laugh broke his stroke.

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  • It very much depends on the person. Pretty much everyone of my friend would poke a little fun at me if it was to happen. It would all be in good faith (my friends would never guess I'd be that broke and assume a card malfunction).

    Now since it seems to be an early date it could be tricky since you presumably don't know each other that well. So jokes could be taken the wrong way. If he's legitimately broke, laughs on top of it could be devastating. To the level of a guy laughing at his self-conscious date because she can't fit in something.

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  • I would have said:"Wow, that's cool now you can pay all my bills;-)". People really have no sense of humour.

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  • u werent rude at all, u even save his azz right there ;P
    i would jokingly laugh at myself or ma gurl if that ever happen. i think it was funny, he take it too seriously >.>

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  • "its disrespectful to take me out to dinner when you dont have enough money..." Yeah you're a rude stuck up ass.

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    • even though I Paid for his food and mine.

  • This is why I use cash. It's never declined!

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  • A guy is paying for your food, his card gets declined (do you even know if this was due to lack of funds or a technical issue with the card) and you laugh at him? It's embarasssing enough when a guy is doing his best to make a good impression for this to happen, never mind that you laughed. You paying was nice but for him it might be the icing on the cake for his embarassment.

    Regardless of how well you thinkg you know or like each other, that one moment still felt rude enough to him for him to tell you. You should apologize (I see you already have) and try to move on with things.

    There's very very few people that I would take that from without being offended.

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  • I would say pretty much both of you were at wrong. If that ever happens to me (I hope it never does because it is going to be a mother of all humiliation and embarrassment) I would be totally feel like a loser even though i didn't expect it, but still, things like this shouldn't happen. And I really laughed at you reaction when I pictured it, the poor guy sweating and embarrassed even more because of you.
    I am not accusing you or anything but you laughing at him (even uncontrollably) made him feel even worse.

    *sigh* What a poor fella. Don't be surprised about what he said over the phone, it seems like he couldn't sleep after the incident. Just try to tell him what you exactly said here, (apologizing could help) and see if he is going to let it go (which I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't) if he does just tell him it is okay bla bla bla shit happens bla bla bla... you know the deal.

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    • I paid for his food without thinking twice. He should know how sweet I am. I didn't even make him go through the "swipe it again" song and dance

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    • LOL okay I will.

    • @DeltaDanner I could have told the waiter to split the check then called a friend to pick me up.

  • It's embarrassing, and it's not something to be overly dramatic about. That's his fault his shit declined...
    It was a light laugh, I'd laugh too.

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    • I wasn't even judging him. My card has declined before when I least expected it.

    • I understand, but it's already embarrassing enough without the giggle. He probably lost sleep from that.
      It doesn't justify him saying you're classless though.

  • Rude and classless?

    Is that what they call taking out your card and offering to cover both of your asses called these days?

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    • Thank you! He didn't even have to ask me. I did it automatically. I didn't even make him go through the "swipe it again" routine. He's being ignorant.

  • you made him embarassed

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    • plus you hurt his ego... a man should be the one who pay for bills (i. e dating)

  • It wasn't rude for you since your intention were different; he was just so embrassed and when he heard that laugh he got crushed. This guy seem to have such a small ego; I would have been laughing with you; bad things just seem to happen you can cry or laugh about it. I prefer to laugh; it would happen on tonight.

    If you still want to purse a relationship explain it to him; if you don't you could count yourself lucky. A guy with such a fragile ego is a ticking bomb.

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  • I don't think I would have taken that as an insult. If I did interpret it that way I would have asked you about it. by the way my first impression is a person laughing at that out of a shock irony.

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    • Yes! and I have a horrible case of nervous laughter. And he knows that.

  • I hope the guy severed all ties with you after such rudeness, no man can be that desperate for a woman that he'd tolerate such a poor display of manners.

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  • Rude that would have been the cutoff point for me no call the day after we done

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  • if you're going to laugh in that situation it's probably best you kept it to yourself.

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  • I don't th it was rude. But he was probably embarrassed by his card getting declined. And then you laughed at him, which embarrassed him more

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  • Nobody is at fault here. That's just embarrassing. But totally awesome you covered it. That's a plus.

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  • I would personally laugh and say to you "couldn't have said it better myself", but this guy must have felt embarrassed and made him wanna kill himself at that moment, but mistakes happen.

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  • You made him feel like a cheap tool that couldn't pay for a date

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  • "It wasn't a "haha you're broke" kind of laugh. It was a "haha I can't believe that happened" kind of laugh."

    How is anyone supposed to tell the difference?
    If you can tell me how one of those laughs is obviously different to the other, then it is the guys fault for not picking up which laugh you meant.

    If no one can tell the difference, then you're at fault.

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    • He's known me for a while and I have an "evil laugh" and a lighthearted laugh. I used the lighthearted one lol

    • I doubt he sees it that way.

    • Well maybe that laugh was abit heavy hearted on the day. Heavy enough to bruise his ego because a man without money is a man without pride

  • OMG you had to pay? Quick someone call 9-11.

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  • So you laughed at a guy that was good enough to even take you out in the 1st place?

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    • I like him. He knows that. He knows my personality. He knows i wasn't being maliciois.

    • Malicious

  • And women wonder why men are sick of dating and marriage.

    Here's a hint, deary--rude behavior is a turn off. Get control of yourself.

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    • i dont think i was rude. i took my card out immediately and paid for not just my food but both of us. even if i was rude... which i wasnt... that alone should have reminded him that im very sweet.

    • Your inability to recognize your own rude behavior is part of your problem.

    • Thanks

What Girls Said 20

  • You definitely bruised his ego with that one. He probably felt embarassed.

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    • should i keep apologizing?

  • That must have felt extremely emasculating. :P Yeah, it was rude. Unless you're BFFs, laughing at someone like that is generally considered rude, no matter how you do it (a laugh is a laugh, nobody can really tell the difference in a situation like that). Just apologize and move on.

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    • We aren't bffs but he's known me for a while

  • I think you are disrespectful. It doesn't matter you laughed because of that reason, this reason whatever. He doesn't know you. He can not understand, why you laugh.
    He probably did not know it would happen because nobody wants to be in that position.

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    • He knows me! Lol

    • If he knows and still acts like that, then there is a problem of understanding. Or he doesn't like what he understood. Apologize and move on.

    • I agreed

  • neither of your options are correct. You need to explain what kind of laugh it was. You need to explain you weren't laughing at HIM but at the fact that that happened because you couldn't believe it because that had never happened before. Explain that it is totally cool and you understand why he misinterpreted it and everything and if you like him, ask him for another chance. It seems like it is just a big misunderstanding on both of your parts. He thinks you're rude because he thinks you laughed at HIM. Does this make sense?

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  • Ouch. If I were him, I'd probably blush and say I owed you one, and start planning that date already. But everyone has a different reaction, it might have been a sensitive subject for him. Or maybe he was so tense and embarrassed at that moment, he couldn't get what your laugh meant.

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    • Good point. I'll just go to his house today and apologize again.

  • Did you not think he was already really embarrassed, you just added to it. Completely insensitive...

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    • I wasn't purposely laughing. It was a reflex.

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    • Well all you can do Is try

    • i guess this guy put a barricade for you asker

  • He's being dramatic. It was a good-natured joke, not a harsh attack on his person.

    Hell, my card has gotten declined for stupid reasons before, I simply move the fuck on... no reason to get butt hurt over something trivial.

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    • I agree. There probably was a problem at the bank. No big deal.

  • That was really insensitive of you for doing that.. i dnt blame him. Next time just pay for it.. things hapn and if u felt like he wasn't worth it just pay for it and dnt date him anymore but u embarassed him and made urself snobby

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    • I did pay for it. Immediately without thinking. My card has declined before and I've laughed about it.

    • Everyone Is diffrent not everybody will take things the same way even if it wasn't ur intention

  • he took it wrong lol

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  • That dude needs to learn to laugh at himself. So long as it wasn't a condescending laugh I don't see why his panties are in a twist.

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    • everyone is different not everybody will take things the same way

    • It wasn't mean or malicious at all because I really like him. If I didn't I would have laughed for at least 3 minutes. What I gave was a light chuckle at the most.

  • Could of been worst. I think you handled it just right.

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  • I would have laughed too or probably smirked. Things like that are funny sometimes. Anyway, he should have appreciated that you were woman enough to pay unlike others girls who are stuck up enough to have caused a show or walked off without say a word. He. could have just gen cool about it and said "this is the only time I'll let a situation like this ever happen again" or something funny like "I guess we switched roles for today" lmao... i guess he isn't witty and easy going... not cool

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    • I agree. He took it way too seriously. it's Only money. Most of my friends say I should have split the check and only payed for my stuff. The Bill was $73 by the way haha

  • You probably meant it in a good way to sort of ease the awkwardness, but it wasn't a good idea in this situation. Oops.

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  • To be honest, it was kinda rude. I'm sure he already felt bad and you laughing probably made it worse.

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  • yes you were rude, even if ur though was i can't believe that happened, it was still an insensitive act on your part. put urself in his shoes, how wld u feel

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  • Why would you laugh? That had to be really embarasing for him. That was a real bitch move! Just say'n..

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    • It was a nervous shrikes laugh.

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    • No. I didn't know how he would react to the card being declined so I was nervous so I paid.

    • But you still laughed... hopefully you can rekindle this

  • Men understand love through respect. Your laughing could have been misinterpreted as disrespect. His ego was bruised... as would anyone's if they were in that position.

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  • This not even a question I'm pretty sure you are aware of why he would no longer want to date you. He already told you you were rude and classless. You should just move on honestly
    I wouldn't even expect him to contact you anymore. I'm surprised you even contacted him after that. Well now you know

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    • I'm really cute and fun and sweet. I don't think he's going anywhere.

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    • That was a typo *you should apologize and move on

    • Thank you!

  • I honestly think you probably just laugh under awkward situations and its okay just tell him how you feel and how you feel bad. But you didn't laugh to make him feel bad.

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  • Honestly I'd have to have been there to determine. Sometimes laughing makes things less awkward but im not sure what your laugh was like. Or how even you meant it... It is rude to laugh at this though. I think it's hard to get out of it being classified as rude.

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