Do you agree with friend zoning or do you think if you do not like someone you should have the respect to tell them to their face?

I am meaning tell them to their face in a nice way.

What do you think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Unless the guy tells me that he likes me how am I supposed to tell him that I'm not interested? Most of the guys who say they're in the friend zone are the ones who never confess they're feelings to the girl and who settle with being her best friend.

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    • If you don't know if the guy likes you you can't tell him I agree but I wrote this question meaning if you know the guy likes you what option do you think should be taken.

    • If he tells me he likes I'll be honest that I don't feel the same way and I only see him as a friend then its his choice whether he wants to continue the friendship or keep trying.

    • I like you attitude, you seem a fair woman.

What Girls Said 8

  • I think people should tell them respectfully they're not interested. But the problem is, SOME guys think just being friends with a girl should imply he has feelings for her. How the fuck are we supposed to know that? I think some women can be too subtle, but "friendzoned" guys are usually too. If they want the girl, ask. Boom. What a mindblowing concept.
    Then there's the part where she may reject him. Then he gets hurt and continues to hang onto this Disney film hope that maybe later she'll change her mind. Yes, this may happen, but it's unrealistic to expect it. Then he continues on being nice in hopes she'll change her mind. There are SOME women who'll take advantage (as all humans tend to do, male or female, but only women get shit for this) of kindness.
    Also, I'm not sure why, but when you reject SOME guys, they tend to ask why. I usually don't try to hurt their feelings, cuz I know how hard it is to build courage to ask someone out, but sometimes you don't wanna know why. I may not really like your personality, you may not be funny cuz laughing is one of my priorities, your values may not be compatible with mine, or yes, even I may not be physically attracted to you. Heaven forbid that I'd want to to be attracted to my partner too. Guys, do you really wanna know the reason you get rejected? I try to say it respectfully. But guys get mad, don't ask me a question you may not handle the response well.

    For the most part, guys tend to put themselves in the friendzone. Let your feelings be known to her. And if she rejects you, move on. Also, don't befriend girls just for the sole intention of a future relationship. If you do that, you're gonna have a bad time.

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    • I would rather have known why I was rejected. Example, one of my first gf's left me after 3 weeks. I couldn't understand why, she just mentioned we were not good for each other. Then about 2 weeks later my friend told me about this letter going around that got out to all the ladies in school. She wrote about what a bad kisser I was. I was embarrassed to say the least and yeah... no women touched me in that school ever again. But I at least learnt from it and sought out to be a great kisser. That's why pick up artist books do so well. Men don't know why they get rejected and then those who want to get good seek the reasons why.

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    • @Scrambled, if the guy asks, I'll tell him in the nicest way possible. But guys tend to get angry, especially if I mention I'm not physically attracted. What can I do? I can't force attraction. I wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't attracted to me either though. So if you think I'm ugly, and I am in love with you, I'd rather not break my heart and have you pity date me.
      That was a jerk move she pulled though. I wouldn't have done that. I'd have told you straight up why and that's it. No need to be a little gossip girl, that's childish and time wasting.

      @asker, I put it in capitals cuz I'll get a gaggle of GaG men complaining cuz they just skim through it and are dying to tell me I'm a "stupid feminist".
      Women can be subtle, but so can friendzone guys too. I had some guy friends like me, yet they never ask me out. Did not show that they liked me as more than a friend, than I'd be getting tagged like in insulting "women go for douches and friendzone nice guys" posts by them

    • @BuchitaBuchys You are right I suppose. I guy would get angry. Its the same reason why guys stay away from the 'F" word with girls (FAT) because they would get angry if you told them that. The question I always ask... is what causes attraction. you can't force it, but guys can create it and that's what separates the successful guys from the not-so successful guys. Its that area where everyone messes up.

  • The friend zone doesn't exist. If your nice to someone that doesn't mean they're obligated to have sex with you or be in a relationship with you. You can be just friends with the other gender. And if a girl just wants to be friends then whys so wrong about that. She could really enjoy your personality and company but she doesn't have to date you. Being friends is okay and perfectly acceptable. So don't blame anyone for "friend zoning"

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    • I don't agree with the friend zone does not exist but I do agree with if your nice to someone they are not obligated to have sex or be in a relationship with you and I agree with your next comment to of course you can be just friends with the opposite gender, I don't understand people that say you can't. There is noting wrong with a girl that wants to just be friends just like there is nothing wrong with a guy that just wants to be friends. Yeah I agree you can enjoy the persons personality and company but not have to date them, this goes for both men and women. Hey I am not blaming anyone -.-

  • When I say to a guy that I just want to be friends, it's because I like him as a person, but don't want a relationship with him. Because I just like him as a friend. When I don't even want to be friends with him. I say, "nah, I just don't like you" and we don't have to talk again.

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    • Yeah so you let him know where he stands so he can move on.

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    • I do, but I'm also very honest. So if I notice that he still has a chance, I've to be a little more direct with him, but overall, I try to say it nicely and but clear

    • Finally a girl that can understand it from my point of view.

  • you shouldn't have to be told. if you are being friend zoned isn't that obvious? if I liked you we would be dating but since we aren't there's your answer. guys seriously cannot be that dense

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    • Well not "all" guys are the same. Some may need telling and others know, everyone is different.

  • friend zone is a mind set. but when a guy is interested and i am not. I let the guy know that I like him as a friend but don't see myself in a relationship with them. I will respect the persons feelings and expect that person to respect mine. if the guy can't deal with that fact than they can disappear. I am pretty blunt I don't really sugar coat things. I only feel for the people i considered to be good friends other than that i don't feel no sentiment for newly made acquaintances.

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    • Yeah it is good you let him know where he stands because not all girls do just like not all guys let girls know where they stand. Yeah I agree everyone should respect peoples feelings, it annoys me people that don't. You can let someone know without being rude and nasty, there is no excuse for people being rude and nasty about it. Yeah I think both men "and women" need to deal with it. After all that is part of dating. I feel for the people that have others let them know in pretty much the meanest and nastiest way possible.

  • I have never knowingly put someone in the friend zone... I agree with what Yadda said, they put themselves in the friend zone

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    • I agree with him to some extent but not entirely.

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    • That is what I do

    • I really don't like your attitude.

  • ?
    Okay.. Give me your definition of friend zoning.

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    • categorizing someone as someone who can only be a friend no more. cappsh?

    • @j1nnishere I wanted to know askers definition since it seemed like he was saying someone couldn't "friend zone" a person to their face which seemed odd to me.

  • Best to let them know where they stand, so be honest but tactful

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    • Finally one of the very few women that think this!!! Well at least on here.

What Guys Said 6

  • Guys friendzone themselves. They should be more forward with what they want, and not hang on once rejected.

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    • This this and this. Face the truth.

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    • You gotta get over your past. It's purely a numbers game until it's not a numbers game. As you get better at asking girls out, you'll have more success.

    • Yeah that is what I am trying to do get over my past.

  • A simple "I don't see you that way" should be enough really. I think so much of the "pain" these "friend zoned" people go through was hanging onto false hopes that were never there to begin with. Plus honestly, if a person's in control of their feelings and knows where to draw the lines they should really realize that a good friendship goes a long way. Hanging around the opposite gender as a friend can really get you to see things from a different POV that can help with having a good set of social skills. People treat this "friend zoning" stuff like it is some disease that plagues their hopes and dreams and like it's some evil dagger stuck into their heart.

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    • Yep it should be enough. I think anyone should say that at the start. I agree with you about the hope thing.

  • I bet you put women in the friendzone. Its not like anyone actually sees someone and goes... mmm, lets friendship zone this dude. It just happens. The girl is not attracted to you that way, or a guy is not attracted to that girl, but you still stay friends for whatever reason. I have plenty of female friends who are awesome and interesting, but wouldn't date them.

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    • Oh yeah I am not saying I don't put women in the friendzone, In fact I think I have. I do have trouble asking girls out though because I personally have been treated like rubbish in the dating world and that probably results in me putting girls in the friend zone.

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    • Yeah man... it looked like a paradox. I could have diagnosed it incorrectly;) But you must try... and learn, even if you fail sometimes. Why do you think women have such "bitch shields" and are hard to crack? Its because they get burned often too. They made some wrong choices and paid the price for it. I have a friend (she was one of those that friendshipzoned me ha ha) that complains all the friggin time to me about her miserable failed relationships, and how she is now probably going to end up alone. She also rants on facebook... so yeah, many go through this.

    • Yeah well you got the wrong idea of what I was trying to say... That is exactly what I am trying to do is try and what your friend complains about is exactly how I feel myself so I know how she feels.

  • I already told them to their face and even that doesn't work sometimes, depending on the girl.

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  • What, do I have to tell everyone I don't like romantically, that I don't like them romantically? To head off any possible interest at the pass?

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  • tell them to their face only if the person thinks they have a change and they are trying

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