When should I have sex with someone I'm dating?

I know there isn't an exact time on when to get physical with someone you're dating. However, when is it too soon?

I've been dating this guy for a little over a month now. I think we have a great physical connection. We've had our fun while still in our clothes. He's hinted it's time for us to go all the way, and although I want to, I can't shake the feeling that is too soon. Is it? should I just go with the flow?

Updates:
I think that is the thing, I want to but i'm not sure I fully trust him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ask yourself, do you know what it is that you want with this guy?
    Do you see him as someone you can be in a relationship with? Do you want a relationship?
    Do you know what the guy wants?

    Do not have sex untill you two have fully communicated what you want with each other that way you will know what to expect after you have sex. You do not want to be one of thoes girls that wants a relationship only to find out that the guy just wanted sex with no commitment and then she is being strung along thinking that she can get a relationship out of him and being trapped in a friends with benefits relatinship that she never intended to be in because they never communicated what their intentions were.

    If you want a relationship then ask the guy how he feels about relationships. If he wants a relationship too then tell him that you would like to get to know him with intentions of it growing into a relationships. If you two are on track to a relationship then you can have sex anytime you want and the guy will still think of you as relationship potential.

    If the guy is not looking for anything serious and you are not looking for anything serious then have sex with him any time you want. If you both have communicated that then you will know what to expect after sex. You both will be dating but with no commitment or will be friends with benefits.

    If the guy is not looking for anything serious but you do want something serious then you can decide if you still want to have sex with him anyway. He may not be the commitment type but you could still have fun with him while meeting another guy who actually is looking for a relationship.

    Its best to find out before you have sex so that you know what to expect afterwards especially if you are the type to catch feelings

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    • Do not go with the flow untill you two have communicated your intentions!!

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    • I got really good at finding out what a guys intentions are from the start. Think of casually asking "do you want a girlfriend?" in the same way you would ask a guy "so what do you like to do for fun?" its all about getting to know someone so never be afraid of asking what you want to know. If you just causually ask questions while you are flirting then it will never scare the guy off because he will still think of you as a fun person. I have asked guys that question the first time they get my number and yes many of them have said that they did not want a girlfriend and they just wanted some fun and they still wanted to keep hanging out with me and seeing me. I also met some guys that said they they did want a girl friend and im now engaged to a guy that wanted a girlfriend.

    • Great point, thanks!

What Guys Said 7

  • When ever YOU feel comfortable doing so.

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  • Whenever you feel like it.
    Somewhere between a day and a week normally works for me. Sometimes it's been 2 weeks.

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  • whenever you feel like it.

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  • Exactly 3 months, 13 days, 11 hours, and 16 minutes (plus or mins 8 seconds) from the moment y'all started dating...

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    • When I calculated the time from today, for a moment there I thought you were trynna hint to wait for Valentine's day lol

    • LOL... I literally just made up random numbers

  • Never, because you will get chlamydia... and die

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    • You know they made a full body condom in case he/she has ebola right?

  • When you feel like you're [its not on his terms] comfortable with him, and what you both want in a relationship. We don't know all that goes on.

    Best advice to you TRUST YOUR GUT! don't talk yourself out of it, thinking about well I may not have someone for Christmas or Valentine's day. If you don't trust him yet, then make him work for it. If he cares he'll stick around, if not you called it, and if he sticks around for it and then leaves. Then you did the best you could and you're not stupid he's just a bad person.

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  • Typically, it's the third date. Lots of people go by the third date rule. The question is though, what defines a "date" and how far in between should the dates be. That's all in what you personally consider a date, and how busy you two are. If it's the third date in one year, then it will take a year for you to have sex (I'm just using it as an example, as not very many relationships would be a third date in a year, ya know?). Again, this is just a general rule. There are of course people who wait until marriage etc..

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    • Definitely not marriage. Well from I considered a date, we've only been on two dates.

    • How long were they between, just curious? And, well, if you follow the rule, the next one would technically be the sex date... someone would have to make the move. But never do anything, you're not comfortable with, of course

    • a week in between. I've had a tight schedule lately. The last date we had we had fun with our clothes but I wasn't willing to go all the way. I'll give our next date a shot and see what happens. Thanks.

What Girls Said 6

  • It's too soon if you think it might be. Seeing as how there's no set time for when sex is okay for the first time, I'd say go with the flow. It's hard to plan when exactly as it'll differ from guy to guy, and also depends on what you're looking for.

    If you feel like you can trust him, know he would never intentionally harm you, that's all most really need before making it happen. If the chemistry between you two is right, it'll probably just happen one day. You'll be making out on second and, thanks to natural progression, sex.

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  • Well if you trust in your gut that you don't trust him then it could be too soon. When you are ready to have sex with him you will know for sure. Don't let him pressure you. Take it as slow as you need. :)

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  • I lost my virginity to my now fiancĂ© 5 days after our first kiss. It's never too soon or too late. Just do whatever you're comfortable with sand things will work out as they should.

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  • Whenever comfortable and you feel you can trust him

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  • Do it when it feels right to you! don't let him pressure you in any way. Since you do want to, try to make it special. usually people might wait until the 3rd or 5th date so a month should do!

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  • Whenever you feel like doing it. :)

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