“The exclusivity talk,” how does it work?

So I’ve been talking to this girl for a while now, and I feel like she is interested in me, but neither of us have confessed our feelings for each other yet since we’re both super-shy. But we text everyday, see each other every weekend, have gone out to the movies, and even met each other’s families, (which all seem like bf/gf things to me) so I’m curious when we become “official.”

This weekend when we hang out I’m planning on just flat out telling her how I feel, because at this point I feel like I’m just leading her on. I’ve never had an official gf before, so I’m not really sure how the whole “exclusive talk” works, so I have a few questions I hope you fine people could help me answer.

How do I bring it up the topic of us being exclusive?

Is flat out telling her I like her a bad idea?

What do I say/do if she says she likes me back?

If she does feel the same, where do we go from there? Do we keep doing what we’re already doing (talking everyday/hanging out every weekend) but just change Facebook statuses?

What do I do/say if she doesn’t feel the same way about me?

Is it possible for us to stay friends if she doesn’t like me back?

If there’s anything else I should know before I go through with this, please let me know!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • In the end, it's a 50/50 gamble and there's really nothing you can do to win the outcome in your favor either way.

    But that's life, son. That's life.

    What has happened to me in the past has been one of two things:
    1) I have accidentally called a girl my girlfriend (on the phone) after thinking it for quite some time and she has gleefully agreed
    OR
    2) I'll be making plans to hang out with exclusive girl and something else will come up which I will cancel. When the girl asks why, I'll say "because I told them I'm hanging out with my girlfriend right now."

    Neither have ever ended horribly, and I'm guessing it's because both these girls WANTED to be exclusive to begin with. Can't really do much about a girl who doesn't.

    Simple as ramen, my friend. Life = complicated + simple / burgers + wine + RC Cola

    Dig it?

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    • But yadda always makes some good points down below. Also best to be honest about your feelings.

      Relationships based on honesty tend to last. Relationships built on lies are fun and exciting for a bit, but crumble like an atomic bomb.

    • Thanks for MH!

What Girls Said 2

  • Just find a nice time to talk, when you two are alone and have some time. Tell her how you feel, listen to her, make sure she feels the same. If she does, then there are not too many problems.

    sounds like you two already behave as a couple, so there shouldn't be any real changes after you make things official.

    If she doesn't like you back, usually its easy enough to stay friends.

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  • Things will definitely change once you talk about exclusivity. If you are prepared for some tension, go ahead, get on with it!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, tell her how you feel, flat out.
    You bring it up like "I've really liked hanging out with you, and would like us to see each other and no one else"

    If she doesn't feel the same way, you just thank her for her honesty. Tell her you might need some time to process her words. Then decide if you want to keep seeing her on her terms.

    If she does feel the same, nothing really changes. Changing FB status really doesn't mean anyting.

    You might be able to stay friends.

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