Have you ever gotten attached to someone you never even dated? Like a friend?

I did... And it hasn't been working out. I feel as though I've fallen in love with her, she's been a long time friend. I know her very well. I just wish I could be with her, so bad, I'd be so happy, but she's always been with someone else or other reasons... I think she's the most beautiful girl in the world. I want to keep fighting for her.

I won't rule out other girls, but so far, she is the one girl that I've REALLY felt something for in life, but if some more girls come along, I won't pass them up either...

Anyone else ever get attached in someway to someone you never dated? How did it work out?

Why do you think I've grown so attached to my female friend?

Any stories about yourself, tips, or advice would be greatly appreciated!

Updates:
The whole situation, does cause me a bit of pain, but I really care for her and I want to make myself known that I can be "that guy" for her.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I did and I think it's not that uncommon at all.

    Best advice I can give you is:

    If you are sure about your feelings, tell her. There's nothing worse than falling in real love with a person who just does not see you. So you should tell her simply to know what she feels for you.

    Even if she doesn't have "these" feelings for you, it will be easier for you to let go ;)

    If your friendship is strong, you may even stay friends, but it will be a hard time if it doesn't work out. Mainly this depends on how YOU act with the coming situation.

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What Girls Said 8

  • I did that- I fell really hard for one of my close guy friends- he'd just gone through a really rough break-up and we spent a lot of time talking and just hanging out. I was totally in love with him for a long time and a lot of the time I was pretty sure he felt it too- I fell asleep in his arms one night and woke up there, he freaked when I had a car accident and insisted I keep the bear I'd given him for Christmas with me since he couldn't stay with me, he'd buy me dinner when we all went out together, keep me warm etc. It went on for a year, our friends called us an "almost" couple because we never crossed the boundary of friendship even though it was always there under the surface. Then suddenly, he pulled away from me and stopped wanting to hang out so much, a few months later he had a girlfriend. It sucked, it hurt a lot and it was hard to get over because since we never really acknowledged how we felt, I didn't feel justified in being upset and getting over it the way I get over most breakups. There was a distance between us for awhile, but I genuinely liked his new girlfriend and was happy for him. We're still friends now and we've both moved on from each other. I hope your situation works out better, but if not it's still possible to remain friends.

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  • my guy friends, one of them, I know he has a crush on me and he knows I have a boyfriend now. he's backed off completely as of that point and that further proved he liked me.

    the problem with that is I always viewed him as friend. I was never attracted to him in that sense. although he grew attached, I didn't. We'd do fun things together, silly things with his buddies like paint ball but that's about it. attraction needs to be two way to have a relationship

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  • It's better to tell her how you feel than to never say anything and always wonder "what if." Sometimes it's better for some people to just stay friends, but sometimes it can also be better to date your best friend... Just tell her. And if she doesn't feel the same, at least you'll know you tried, and you'll still have a close friend.

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  • yeah I fell for one of my good guy friends over period of past six months but I waited too long to tell him how I felt.Before I knew it,he got a gf.So my point is that if you want to be with her,don't wait around on telling her how you feel.She probably doesn't know.

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  • i fell really hard for a good guy friend once. I had always been quite fond of him but a few years ago I had had a really tough yr, 3 of my friends had passed away and a bunch of other stuff was just going all wrong and he was always there for me. I think being really good friends before a relationship is really good. if you;re sure of how you feel about her then my advice would be to definitely tell her. there's nothing worse than living with a 'what if?' for the rest of your life. if she says she would like to give a relationship a go then great, if not, if your;re really close friends this shouldn't take away from it. good luck!

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  • this is really sweet!

    being there for her whenever possible is good, but just remember that girls also need some breathing space too. (you may have known that though..)

    well for myself, I've never been in love, but I've become attached to people like I can't ever stop thinking about them. like they are ALWAYS on my mind. I know young girls are like that though. so I know its not really attached or in need of the person. or in love. for me its all infatuation.

    but for you, youmay have just become attached becuase she may have been really unique and there isn't any girl out there like her. she may have taught you something useful in life or demonstrated something for you (like a characteristic in her that you saw). she may have done something for you...idk really becuase I don't know the two of you, but I'm guessing its becuase of something she did or how she is.

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  • I think that you should tell her how you feel. Because at least that way she'll know.

    As for me, I had a huge crush on my best friend's brother for the longest time, and it was too taboo for me to do anything about. It was painful then, but now I'm glad that we are just friends.

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  • You need to tell her!! You would be suprised by what she really thinks and feels!!! There was this guy I liked/loved for 11years and never told him and he never told me we were the best of friends and when I had got a serious bf he decided to tell me his true feelings for me but then it was to late!!!

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What Guys Said 4

  • Dude, I had the same exact problem and here is the deal, when I talked to her, actually hinted at it, she IMMEDIATELY said she wasn't comfortable and didn't want to talk to me or anything until she felt better. I was still on her contact lists, but no responses. When you get into the friend zone with certain girls, it can be very dangerous to move out, because she may think that eveyrthing you did for her or with her was trying to get close to her or so on as a lover and not as a friend and then she will get freaked out and not want to spend any more time of any sort with you, and she may not know if you really are just friends if you tell her it is okay to just stay friends because stuff may fele weird for her :). I mean, that was my experience, but you could always try it and see ... :D

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  • Maybe you fell for her because you think she's one of the feel people who you have a deep understanding of one another. Yes, I've fallen for a high school friend because she always invited me places. Even if I didn't want to go (because I felt depressed in high school), I still appreciated the gesture, and it made me feel wanted.

    We didn't end up getting together; she fell for another guy (I possibly could have prevented it if I acted on my feelings more quickly). My advice: if you're willing to risk the friendship, go for it and don't delay!

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  • You have to tell her so you do t have the " what if?" factor over you're head. I've been in your situation and if she says yes it goes one of two ways, it either goes great or ends horribly and you quickly reach the point of never talking again. You have to weigh out the pros and cons.

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  • I can definitely say I know how you feel. It's happening to me as I type this. Sorry but I don't have any advice besides hang out with her and flirt a bit and see how she reacts.

    Good Luck, Wish me luck too!

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