Why do people (mostly women) find my preference offensive?

Just to clarify I'm not trying to start any hate with any race, gender, or whatever. Just want to get honest opinions. So I prefer nerdy, short white girls, but I get hate for one reason or another. First I'm tall and black also a bit of the nerdy side. I get hate for preferring white girls, hate from preferring short girls, and hate for just about anything to do with my preference. Honestly why do people take so much offence to what I prefer?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Women get the same though. Some guys are really annoyed if you prefer tall men. And if you prefer white men. I'm black and I'm not into black guys and I've been called a sell out before over this. Black guys have been blatantly rude and disrespectful if I'm out with a white guy they assume to be my bf. (sometimes he is, sometimes he isn't. I have friends too ya know.)

    I don't find it personally offensive. That doesn't mean you're not racist, though. Please don't confuse the two. I don't know enough about you to decide that, and even then subconscious factors beyond your own admission or reflected in decisions beyond my observation would be part of any complete determination of that as well. Even if you were racist, your dating preferences alone don't deeply affect me in such a way that I feel personal offense. I really don't care. But again, I'm not into black guys and I'm not most people you encounter.

    This isn't limited to women. Its just you may be talking to women who don't fit your type. Regardless of interest, someones pride may be affected if you say you're not into whatever they are. The question of, "Well, whats wrong with me?" will arise even if they had no interest in you before. You're rejecting what they are, and that may strike a nerve. It does the same with many men. It's just that you are not attracted to men... Seeing as no straight man would be affected by your preferences in women, or at least not in the same manner, it's not going to have the same effect. No offense, but, Duh. Kind of an obvious answer...

    Also, note that not approving of exclusive preferences is not necessarily the same as being personally offended. It often is, but sometimes they really are criticizing the way you think and your limitations separately from feeling personally hurt or slighted.

    You'll have to learn to get over it. That's life. Everyone will have a comment on your business one way or another, especially if you tell them about it.

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What Girls Said 17

  • Because everyone is insulted when they don't fit the preference.

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  • 31.media.tumblr.com/...m0cd5uK6LD1rqfhi2o1_500.gif

    It is racist lowkey but OMG. Who cares Lol

    "Just live ya life" *rihanna voice*

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    • That's what I'm saying. Why people don't accept who they are? They don't like the label of racist I guess.

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    • Yeah lol so it's not hatred behind it LOL!!! I love everybody! @Red_Dragon

  • It really doesn't matter what you like, it's not racist in my eyes, every single person has some kind of preference when it comes to the opposite sex and their looks. Whether it's eye color, hair color, height, weight, having facial hair or being a certain race. Honestly it's no ones business what you prefer and none of their business why you like it. If you are only attracted to short white girls, then be with short white girls.

    I think people are considering you racist because you are, to them, "going against your own race" But you never said you hated girls of other races or would never date them. It's amazing how many people in the world are offended by interracial couples and think that one race should stick with their own. And amazing how many people will come up to you in public and tell you they think so.

    People like what they like, end of story!

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  • im not offended, I just don't agree with preferring someone who isn't your race. I think people who make a big deal about the fact they are attracted to people outside of their race generally have racial issues and are seeking attention. because why do people like u constantly advertise it? I feel like y'all want people to be offended and give u attention

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    • I think people "make it a big deal" because most people assume that you're going to be primarily attracted to your own race & furthermore proceed to treat you as if you are. Like, there might be a person of another race that you're interested in & that person is highly interested in you, but they don't approach you because they assume that you're only into your own race.

  • Preference is preference. everyone has the right and freedom to prefer anyone he or she feels is better for him/her. this is completely private and no one can and have the right to tell you that you should not have this kind of preference to this kind of people with the certain standards. this is one's most private choice of his private life and an important life changing choice. so anyone who interferes in it, anything that this choice want to be, is violating your freedom of choice and you can/have the right and should act and defend your will and choice. whether the interference wants to be direct with ordering you or wants to be indirect with degrading you with using different negative terms.

    you only have to note this that using an absolute word for preference is not fairly true. innately every race is attracted to a certain type of his own kind. you may not prefer all types that are classified under your race but there certainly are some traits and types that you prefer.

    for understanding of this see the white race for example. near to all of them if not all of them, have their own race into their preferences if they even prefer another race more than them. and it is mostly the same with every race. it is a nature that exists in all.

    but that doesn't mean your preference is wrong. the attraction you have towards that certain type is more than other types and you prefer them if you have the choice to prefer between two types.

    so it's always a matter of more or less, not 'only'.

    in the end, the preference is different with dislike. if you 'hate' every type of your own race or 'dislike' them completely, you are not normal and this is not normal behaviour. you are not a racist and this is not a social issue. but it is a personal problem. you have to consider thinking about it and solving the problem for yourself.

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  • Its because you're black. People still have an issue with interacial relationships, especially when it comes to black and white due to the history of slavery! On the white side its over racism, and on the black side its over chosing a race thats caused your own so much grief, it like to them you aren't proud of being black since you dont want to be with someone who is black. Its tough, there's nothing wrong with it though, its just left over insecurities fron the black community, dont let the haters put you down.

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    • Yeah but see I don't believe in the "sides" thing. None of us are 100% our race. Or at least I'm not. How is it the people that caused "my people" so much grief when both sides are in my ancestry? You know? I'm not proud of being black. I'm proud of being human. I'm proud of the black activists who had strive for equality though.

      That said it's still racist to me for him to only want white girls.

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    • Out of millions and millions. It's ridiculous. To add to that if you prefer one race over another how are you not placing that race above another race? Sure everybody has certain preferences, but racial preference doesn't make sense to me, and I don't see how it's not racist.

      Name a race. Really name a race I'm not attracted to. Thanks for telling me how I feel. You know how I feel better than me.

    • I'll agree to disagree though.

  • When you explain it like that, I take no offence. The real hate appears when you say ''I only date short, nerdy girl'' like in ''just those girls are for me, the rest in = zero, to the hell with them''. See the difference? If you prefer a thing, like in you're mostly attracted to this particular type of woman, it's totally fine. I, for one, am attracted a lot to the tall, brunette guys. I dated other types too, but I'm usually into a guy like this.

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  • It really depends on if your preferences are based on stereotypes. If they aren't then there's really no problem. You having that narrow of a pool can only hurt you, not us.

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  • To be honest, Im black and I dont care if you go for white girls :p I'm a black female and I prefer Hispanics over black males. I totally get what you're saying. Black girls blame white women for stealimg "their men" but it really doesn't matter, you prefer whites , who cares? lol. I mean I'd find it highly offensive if you said that the reason you dont date black girls is bc they're "Ghetto" & "Ratchet" because that is truly offensive.

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    • I really find it funny how people can say someone stole a man or woman. Last I checked I belonged to no one. XD
      But I have dated two black women and honestly those were my worst two relationships. No offence to you or other black women.

    • I'm not offended. Some people do think that all black females are ratchet. but I'm not one of those females. lol. I've never dated a black guy :p I grew up in LA & that's the main reason why I'm into Hispanics :p I guess its just where you came from.

  • Because they mistake it for racism or discrimination... or being close minded.

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  • They probably find it offensive because they aren't what you prefer. It's nothing wrong with you, just their own insecurities.

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  • I don't know. But as a short nerdy white girl, I salute your taste in women. 😊

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  • I don't care at all.

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  • Some people are stupid forget them of you like that type of girl the. You go ahead mate, of you sit there worrying about people you won't even make it out the front door I t he mornings. You just do you and be happy

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  • This is 2014 and you should date whoever you want regardless of skin color.

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  • You like what you like and you don't like what you don't like. I've never had a thing for black guys and its not because I'm a racist. I'm just not attracted to them.

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  • because we all know how thirsty black guys can be.. hopefully your not one of them

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What Guys Said 10

  • There is nothing wrong with your preference AT ALL. Just be yourself and don't listen to them
    Watch this
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t35rEpCur2E

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  • Well from my perspective it's racist to me. I like girls of all races and all different height too for that matter. I also like different styles. Not just nerdy girls.

    But I mean fuck it. Do you bro.

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  • The white girls have been getting lots of people who have fetishes for them over the past few days.

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  • Because you're voicing your opinions and don't "fit the mold."

    People just need to remove the stick.

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  • Having a racial preference isn't racist at all. We can't help who we are attracted to. Calling you racist would be like calling a gay guy sexist for not dating women.

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  • Can/have you *got (ten)* short, slightly nerdy white girls? Because if you have then they're probably jealous... as am i...😊

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  • One word: Haters

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  • because tramps are deluded and brainwashed.

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  • I get hate too, for preferring tall girls. Every time I mention I only date tall ones, I get hate from short ones. No matter your preference, people who don't match them will feel undesired and some will be offended. Just ignore it.

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  • There are three things going on.
    1. A lot of racist people won't like it.
    2. People get jealous when someone likes something that they don't have and can't change.
    3. Political correctness is out of control. Even having a preference is offensive, since you aren't viewing all people equally. Which is a physical impossibility.

    A lot of racists will actually try using political correctness, to show why you shouldn't prefer a race outside your own, by making you seem racist or bigoted.

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