What's a 24 years old virgin girl to do?

I've never been in a relationship or asked out and I sense this must be because I don't look over sexualized and maybe guys feel that I'm not really ready to give it up
The thing is it is starting to bother me, I would much rather wait for someone who I know loves me and whom I love and then once we're official and all have sex with him. The thing is it seems things don't happen this way an longer.
People date and have sex and then they seem to decide to stick together and have a relationship.

This annoys me all the more that lately I've been considering online dating and I don't want to feel pressured into sex if I get on dates with some guy, yet I know this can be a deal breaker because there are many girls out there who are not so stuck up about it.

So what do you suggest?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell me about it. I'm almost 24 myself. It seems like sex is some normal thing that just "happens" for other people. It's something they don't seem to have to struggle with. "I think you're hot, you think I'm hot. Let's F*ck."

    I can't say I'm totally against this. I'm all for people having more sex and not placing tons of restrictions on it. So long as it is safe sex, of course. I also hear this is more common in Europe. Having sex, then deciding if you want it to become a relationship.

    I can understand both sides of what you're saying about it being a deal-breaker. On the one hand, as a guy, I know how frustrating it is to have a libido that blasts in as early as 10 years old, and have women look at you like you're some psychopath because you're interested. But it's unfair to want a woman to just "put out" right away.

    What I've understood about girls I've dated is that their libido is quite driven by things like trust and emotional connections. That is a very good thing. I think it partially works this way for guys, too, but they aren't used to such intimate connections, so many abandon the idea altogether. The thing is that it takes TIME to develop these connections. Historically, everyone knew everyone else they interacted with pretty closely, so this wasn't an issue. These days, everyone is a Facebook stranger. Introverts and homebodys are utterly left in the dust waiting for connections to develop, feeling more abandoned than ever.

    Now honestly, in most cases a girl doesn't need to look oversexualized once the guy knows she's interested. When you like a girl, you see through the clothing. That may sound creepy, but it means he's looking at you, not how you accessorize.

    Also, you don't sound stuck up. "Stuck up", to me, is demonizing the idea that he is sexually interested, and making him run around trying to prove he is worthy of your greatness. Waiting for things to develop is not stuck up.

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What Guys Said 14

  • Just because you are not asked out doesn't mean you have to conform what what you think males want from you. This will be really bad. And you will feel stupid afterwards.

    If you only want sex within a serious relationship then say so. Make it clear for people who you are dating and stick to the rules. 10 guys will leave , one will stick. Begin a relationship with the one that will stick. remember that out of 3.5 bilion men around this world, you only need ONE! This means that it doesn't matter how many guys leave you for not getting sex fast... you only need one that understands that sex will happen when you are official Boyfriend and gf.

    Men will not be your boyfriend because you give them sex. By refraining from sex untill you are offical.. you are actually weeding out the guys that are not serious enough about you to wait.. you understand me?

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  • It sounds like you know what you want sexually, don't let anybody change your mind, if you do you'll never let yourself let it go. You do however need to stop focusing on the sex part and start focusing on finding a relationship. Don't judge too fast either, just because a guy had sex all the time with another girl doesn't always mean he has to have it. A lot of guys will give a girl they care about time until they're ready, it's more a matter of opportunity a lot of times. If it is going to be a while and he is hanging in there, do him a "favor" in some way from time to time because if he's not a virgin it's not easy but he's still doing it to be with you. This also shows him your 'available' just not until the right time.

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  • If you like a guy and he likes you, and the mood takes you both such that you wish to have sex, then have sex. If he's not ready then don't force the issue and visa versa. You don't have to go jumping right in to penetrative sex either, you can give eachother relief with hands or oral sex and such.

    From a guy's perspective:
    You're with your girlfriend and you're getting on wonderfully. You're holding hands and snuggling up and you start to feel a stirring in your loins; you're thinking how beautiful she is and you'd just like to make love to her, perhaps you're kissing her even. Your girlfriend stops you, she's not ready. You have no idea why she's not ready and she seems unable to explain it. It's frustrating. You then have to sit there with powerful sexual feelings, emotional confusion and yet somehow still carry on watching the movie or whatever. But the movie holds no interest for you at this point and you can't walk out even though you need to cool off.

    He may not be emotionally mature enough, or perhaps is too afraid of your reaction to basically tell the God's honest truth: that he needs to either go and cool off, smoke, or masturbate so that it goes away just like releasing a pressure valve. That's how it is for guys. So in that situation maybe you should take the innitiative to let him know that although you're not ready you do understand how he must be feeling; tell him it's fine to go jerk off in the bathroom or whatever he needs to do lol.

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  • Well, it's true that the older you get, the faster people tend to have sex. I don't think there's any magic solution to that one.

    I would maybe try to mentally be prepared to be sexual (hopefully enthusiastically) as soon as you're official, but delay intercourse for significantly longer, till you're much more closely attached. Do you think that balance would work for you?

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    • yep got no time to waste

    • There are alternatives, but they start limiting you to really small subsets of men... and in particular to men who actually you might not be remotely compatible with once you DO start having sex.

  • Age is not an issue. It's not for us men and it shouldn't be for you. Adriana Lima lost her virginity at age 27. Just because people have a SO and/or sex often doesn't mean they are happy. I'm a perfect example. Remain calm and enjoy the little bit of freedom you have left. It's all downhill from there, beautiful.

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    • yes but I'm no Adriana Lima!
      D you suggest I stop wondering if I'll ever meet someone that likes me enough to be patient?

    • Waiting till marriage doesn't necessarily mean it'll work out. Adriana getting divorced

      http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5255780

    • That's exactly what I'm saying. Stop wondering, stop waiting and just enjoy the ride. Belive it or not the right person will show up once you give up looking for him. And Adriana Lima can't hold a candle to you :)

  • I suggest dropping this "no sex till true love and/or marriage" thing. There are no good sides in such attitude whatsoever.

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    • You know I don't even want to wait till marriage or "true love" I just want it to be with someone I'm in love with, someone with whom it feels right.

  • I would suggest when you online date that you state what you just wrote in your profile. It's good that you know what you want and it will help you find the right guy.

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  • I have no idea what you should do. Relationships and love and sex are that side of life that just makes no sense to me. You could try online dating, though I wouldn't put too much stock into it. It's a very hit or miss type of thing.

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  • I'm 24 and still a virgin as well. I've been on a fair number of dates nothing real serious has materialized I don't know I suck or am just a dweeb wish I had the answers for you

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  • Ohhh I want a cutie like u so bad in ma WORLD :c
    I like a cutie who's saving their precious gift for "The One" :3

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  • Go to a male hooker

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  • "I sense this must be because I don't look over sexualized"

    What do you mean by that?

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    • I'm the serious type of girl. I flirt but I guess guys know that I'm not going to rush into sex it that makes sense

    • But you said you don't *look* over-sexualized. What you're describing is acting, not looking, over-sexualized.

  • im 17 and looking to loose my virginity

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  • glad i'm not alone in this, because usually it seems there are more male late bloomers than female late bloomers

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What Girls Said 2

  • It would be deal breaker for some men because at some point, many men don't want to lose time waiting to have sex with a girl. BUT if you feel pushed, do what you want, you can break up if you want to. As long as you're clear about it all, there is no problem.
    I personally don't believe in waiting that much but don't put your hopes too high for your first time, a first time is never as good as we think it will be

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    • I'm going to be 25 so I'm past that stage where clearly I wasn't ready for it. But I don't want to do it with someone because I'm horny and he's horny. I don't want tit to happen with a guy I've known for a month. I just want it to be with someone who I know cares and won't leave once it's done.

    • then good luck (I'm not saying in a sarcastic way, my opinion is just the total opposite)

  • never been asked out? do you at least get approached by guys?

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