Hi, so I've had a couple of coffee dates with this guy. Turns out he's 50. I'm 40. He's a really nice guy and we have a lot of interests in common?

He has a depth and calm to him that is really intriguing. I'm not super attracted to him physically although he has a lovely smile. So am I being superficial or does physical attraction really matter?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Physical attraction does matter, of course. I think what you're asking is, "Should I compromise?" My answer is that you should do what's in your rational self-interest, which involves compromising on some things and not on others.

    For example, if your goal were to date Tom Cruise, I would say that you should abandon that goal, because the chance of success would be virtually zero. On the other hand, if your goal were simply to date someone who has a job, the chance of success would be vritually certain; so, I would recommend pursuing that goal.

    This particular issue that you have is somewhere between those two extremes. Where exactly, I don't know. You should try to get an idea of what your chance of success is, and what chance of failure you are willing to risk, bearing in mind the potential reward.

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What Guys Said 2

  • At our age, if you go around demanding physical attraction as the most important in a relationship, you'll be desillutioned and disappointed. We're old enough to enjoy the company of people for who they are beyond that, and how they make us feel when we just sit and watch the fireplace together.

    We're at an age where we might still have our physical condition kept up if we work at it every day, but most of us are on a steep downhill roll when it comes to physical condition. If you crave phsyical attraction, this guy is not the guy. But if that is not your main focus, then be happy and enjoy companionship.

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  • "... does physical attraction really matter? " - To whom? It doesn't matter whether physical attraction matters to anyone else, it's whether it matters to you, and you are the only one that can answer that.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It is what you want it to be. At the end of the day you choose if you're attracted to this gentleman purely on his intelligence and if that is the case then are looks are an important factor for you as well? Would you see yourself sexually attracted to him? If not then make your intentions known that you like him strictly as a friend. At the end of the day, it's what's important to YOU.

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