Less desirable to date?

I was born with a mild hearing loss which has caused me to have a speech problem . I'm quite understandable but it is noticeable . My hearing loss is really only an issue if I'm in a big group of people or there's a lot of background noise . I've been able to have a completely normal life, regular track education, college graduate, professional job .

However, I haven't had much luck in dating . The guys I've gotten involved with have told me that I have the traits that I think make a good girlfriend-sweet, easygoing, smart, hot, nice body, good listener, sense of humor . Yet they don't want to have a real relationship with me and instead date other girls (if you're thinking I put out too soon that's not the case; I don't have casual sex) . I'm wondering if my speech problem makes them ashamed of having me as their girlfriend and don't want to deal with the issues of my hearing loss, such as hanging out in groups at a crowded bar . I will likely not say much because I can't hear the conversation . I did get made fun of for that even in college (aren't people supposed to grow up by then ? ) so maybe they liked me but their friends gave them crap about it .

I guess I'm wondering if I'm on about this . Guys, would it be a problem for you to have a girlfriend with a hearing loss and speech problem even if she can function normally ? Am I always going to have a smaller dating pool because of this ?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's true that your dating pool will be smaller, but I think that in your case, it's a positive . Anyone who can't see past a single difference is probably not dating material . After all, the guys whom you've dated probably have not been 100% perfect either (and who is ? ) .

    I know that you'll be able to find someone who not only sees past any problems you might have, but who appreciates your uniqueness--someone who loves you not "in spite" of your difficulties, but because of them . It's clear that you have a lot of positive qualities . Don't let your self-perceived flaws drag you down . Stay positive and keep moving forward !

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What Guys Said 3

  • Best advise to work on your speech - or, and this is radical, learn another language and move to another country - there people may just think you have a sexy accent or have trouble understanding the language as well - clever mask to the issue I think

    Cheers

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    • As far as working on my speech, I was in speech therapy as a child and I don't shy away from any chances to practice my speech now--giving speeches for work, reading to little kids--even if I feel self-conscious . But my speech is never going to be perfect because of how much I missed during the speech development stage as a child .

  • Well I would say it depends on the guy . For me personally, I wouldn't have a problem at all . But to me, I'm looking for looks, personality, body, character, morals, goals, beliefs, etc . The way she talks wouldn't be a deal breaker . If she has everything I'm looking for, then I would be all for it .

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  • I am taken or took ASL in college. I get mad when people make fun of people who need extra room. My heart goes out to you. Take care

    I wish you well

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What Girls Said 1

  • Forget what this loser said ! I mean just look at him . There are wonderful guys out there who will accept you as you are, but you must accept you as you are first and love yourself . Thank God that you are not totally deaf . It's okay . Don't see this as an obstacle, see it as an overcoming challenge that will help others who face and do not know how to cope . You don't have to run, stand where you are and be who you are, and if anyone has a problem with it, that's their problem, not yours . Men, though they won't admit it, actually look at the heart of a woman and choose their wife from that standpoint . So love yourself, and be loved, and the right guy will come along ! God bless you .

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