If a guy/girl is too smart, is that a turn off?

I am a 19 year old guy and girls always say that they want to be with a smart guy, but I have found that it isn't really true. I think when a girl says this, they mean a guy who is as smart as they are. I'm not trying to be arrogant but I am simply very smart. I read all the time and enjoy learning. On top of that I have a very good memory, so I know quite a bit of stuff.

My last girlfriend used to come home from uni and tell me this cool thing she learnt in psychology class and she would get angry that I already knew it. She would get angry if I told her I already knew and she would get angry if I knew and didn't tell her because it was 'patronizing'. It was something that came up all of the time. It may not seem like a big deal but this ended up being the reason the relationship ended.

  • Yes, it's a turn off
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  • It doesn't matter, but it would get annoying
    33% (7)6% (1)22% (8)Vote
  • It doesn't matter
    29% (6)19% (3)24% (9)Vote
  • Turn on
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  • See answers
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Intelligence, being interested in stuff and overall knowledgeable are good and attractive traits. However, it can get really annoying if you act like a smart ass and deliberately make everyone around feel intellectually inferior.

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What Girls Said 12

  • It is definitely one of the biggest turn-ons, but a guy really needs to be humble about it. The more of a surprise quality it is, the better! She probably just got embarrassed about it all. If it is a talent that a girl is insecure of herself, I wouldn't flaunt it too much.

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  • You don't have to tell someone that you know something already but you can engage in conversation about it. Perhaps she just was excited to share something with you and felt like you shut her down when you said you knew it already.

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  • I don't think it would be a turn off unless the other person had insecurities about their own intelligence, or if the smarter person was regularly condescending towards the other person for not knowing something.

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  • I like my guy smart. With that I could learn from him. But when he gets all arrogant about it and becomes so wrapped around himself? Nah. Nvm.

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  • I prefer a guy to be not too smart/not too dumb. I don't like him to be better than me yet I don't like him to be lower than me either.

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  • Intrinsic intelligence is a turn on, providing he does not feel like he has to demonstrate it. Surprise me with intelligence, but don't force your intellect on me by having to engage in debate after debate, for the sake of a battle of the wits. =)

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  • If a guy is arrogant about being smart it's a turn-off. If he's constantly making you feel stupid because he has more knowledge than you that's obviously not something most girls want.

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  • I think it's okay when he has a higher IQ, but I hate people who brag about it. I don't care if you already knew that. I'm just enthusiast about what I learned today. So it's definetly a turn off. I wouldn't go out with a guy like that.

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  • It doesn't matter :) But in my experience people are most often attracted to persons with an IQ similar to theirs of several reasons

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  • as long as you don't brag and like shove it in my face, i think it's pretty hot.

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  • i like it actually but i can get insecure if they know a lot about a lot and i can't keep the conversation going, i can be a listener and make a few comments and all but i dont have a personal pov on the matter

    but yea some of those self claimed "smart" guys are usually guys who like to state the obvious, which is annoying
    or they have a condescending/arrogant tone when they talk... major turn off

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  • I am certifiably a genius (won't state my IQ, just say that it's over 150 by far) and the way I see it, if a guy can't match my IQ, he can't match the rest of me.
    Bye bye. ^_^

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What Guys Said 6

  • It's fine to be smart and knowledgeable, but it also behooves you to shut your mouth about all the things you know now and then. Nobody likes to be constantly reminded that you're more informed than them.

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  • this is what a guy told me YOUR CUTE BUT YOUR A NERD im like huh i make average grades lol

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  • I met this one girl who liked smart guys. But the problem was her version of a smart guy was "Breaking all the rules he wanted but was smart enough to find ways to get away with it"... yeeeeaaa I'm not friends with her anymore.

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  • When people say they want someone smart, they're usually talking about "socially accepted" metrics of intelligence, and not actual critical reasoning skills.

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  • I'm good with it. And as @koko124 said, there's a difference between "smarts" and reasoning.

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  • if she knew something that you already knew, wouldn't that make for a good topic of discussion, chat about it or evens make jokes on it?

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