Guys and Girls: Would you be able to date/love someone who self harms?

So I just started dating this guy, and he saw the scars on my thighs. I worry that if he knows about what I used to do he might bail. Thus I was curious... if you knew the person you were dating was a cutter, bulimic, anorexic, or any other type of self harm would you still date them? Could you still love them. Tell me what you think.

  • Yeah. Of course.
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  • No. I don't think I could.
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  • Maybe, it depends.
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  • I have no clue.
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • no i could not and not because of the self harming per se but because people that self harm are shy, emotional, and pessimistic and those are simply not qualities i wan't in a date.

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    • oh and one more thing the people that do these things they are looking for a person to date as a lifesaver as someone that will motivate them out of their state of being they wan't a savior soemeone who will show them the world in a different way so some are desperate for a boyfriend and anyone who commits to a relationship with someone like that will be dragged down and constantly bothered by their neediness

What Guys Said 5

  • I've had a girlfriend who cuts before, and it was the worst experience of my life. being around depressing people makes me feel kind of depressed and I don't want to feel depressed. is like she would purposely tell me depressing things to make me sad and that's bullshit. I'm not okay with other people trying to make others miserable like them. so I dumped her.

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  • Dating a cutter and letting them get away with it is reinforcing bad behaviour. What's next? Giving a dog a treat when he pisses on the carpet?

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  • It depends on how bad it is, and how far gone she is. I would be understanding of that type of situation, as long as she was actively trying to stop.

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  • Yes, we all have "scars", on some they're just readily visible.

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  • As long as she was seeking help to stop. Otherwise, no.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You never know what the other person has gone through and not many are that understanding if you self harm or otherwise. Since I don't know the story behind of why they may do what they do, it might be difficult at first but I'd have to wait till the other is willing to talk about their scars. If they're on the road to recovery, I'd be there for them. Any kind of disorder is hard to deal with but I'd be there for them to know I care and I'd be every step of the way with them.

    Recovery is a huge step and difficult for what I see with friends who I've seen struggle with their hardships of that nature. Yet it wouldn't make me turn my back on them or stop loving them. It'd make me want to be there even more and if they're ever ready to tell why of what they do, I'm all ears. Like I said, some know what to do but people know their limits and what they can or cannot handle.

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  • My boyfriend told me he would bail if I started starving myself again, I ended up relapsing and he's still with me and helped me get better. I think if you love someone enough you'll stick around and help them. If he leaves you because of it he isn't worth your time😊

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