Am I being shallow with men's heights?

I keep seeing posts around the internet shaming women (especially short women) for preferring taller men, I don't want to hurt shorter men's feelings, but I don't find guys under 5'10 physically attractive to the point where I don't even see them as potential partners. Guys above 6' especially 6'2-6'3 are simply much more attractive. I can't help it, I feel what I feel. Am I being shallow?
(I'm 5'3)

  • I am being shallow
    50% (7)57% (16)55% (23)Vote
  • I am not being shallow
    50% (7)43% (12)45% (19)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think all this talk of 'shallowness' is silly.

    You should do what's in your rational self-interest, which means compromising on some things and not compromising on others, all of which should be aimed towards the maximization of your happiness. To give a couple of examples, the goal to date Tom Cruise is virtually impossible and therefore obviously irrational and therefore should be abandoned if you had it. At the other end of the spectrum, the goal to date a man who has a job is very possible and therefore is obviously rational. The goal to date a tall man is, I think, somewhere between those two extremes. To decide whether it is a rational goal or not, you need to contextualize it in terms of the difficulty and likelihood of success versus what it would add to your life.

    One thing's certain, though: you don't owe anyone anything. But, the corollary of that is no one owes you anything either. As long as you respect every other individual's right to pursue his own happiness, you should not feel guilty for pursuing your own.

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    • To put it another way, someone's ill fortune, even if not self-caused (such as in the case of shortness), does not impose an obligation on you.

What Guys Said 20

  • Is it a shallow preference? Yes. Are you allowed to have it? Sure.

    Height gets people (usually guys) bent out of shape because it's not something that can be changed and the preference for taller guys is almost universal. Short guys have to deal with "I want someone taller" quite a lot, even from short girls, and it starts to get old pretty quickly.

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  • Everyone's shallow, we just don't like being called out on our particular shallow tendencies. I'm 5'6'', whoopty fuckin' do. If that is a deal breaker for a girl then we wouldn't have lasted very long anyways, so there's no reason for me to bitch about it.

    Fact is, we all have standards that we can't really decide whether or not we feel. Fuck, if we could choose what we wanted to like, or who we loved, life wouldn't really be worth living because everything would just be so damn simple.

    So yeah, it's shallow. But who gives a fuck? We all have our preferences, and we all have certain things that we like. I prefer small breasts, and am more likely to be attracted to a girl who has smaller breasts, if that's wrong than so is liking intelligence, or height, or eye colour, or any other of the million and one things that make up who we are.

    The point is, everyone is just as shallow as everyone else, we just like to keep a holier than thou attitude about this shit.

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  • You are shallow. I can understand u wanting a man taller than you, but you are short so you shouldn't be so picky. It shows your immaturity, and I've known many girls like you end up alone, or with a gross dude. I'm 5' 10" so im not taking it personally, but I can't stand when average to below average women have attitudes.

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    • Then let her die on her own.

      Why does her preferences bother you? I'm the short guy here and her ruling me out because of my height so it shouldn't bother you and how do you know this girl is average or below average?

    • Show All
    • If OP doesn't date people under 5"10 because she's had a bad experience with someone short... That's shallow... But if she just doesn't date them because they're physical unattractive to her then it's NOT shallow. Just like the fact I wouldn't date a transgendered person... Not because they're transgendered, but simply because I'm not attracted to them... Yes I've met a lot of them and I haven't felt anything for any of those that I have met.

    • @Mr_zoomzoom.. completely incorrect you are. If the op had a bad experience with someone shorter that may be considered NOT shallow depending on the reason. If she's not dating them based only on physical appearance that IS SHALLOW. Its a pretty basic concept. You like many other males of our generation may have been conditioned to accept and conform tto these baseless demands from women. Sort of the beta male thing. In any case these type of woman are hypocrites. Tell them you only date women with big tits and see what they say my friend.

  • Yes, but I forgive you.

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  • I'm a tall guy and people (especially on here) try to shame me for only dating short girls. They way I see it is that it's not my problem. Most often the reason why people shame you is because you have already rejected. So they get piss even if they don't have any interest in you just for the simply fact they aren't you time. Take it from m: FUCK WHAT EVERYONE ELSE SAYS AND JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE.

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  • Kinda sucks for some men because 5'10" is above average, but whatever. The only thing "shallow" about your preference is if you wouldn't date a guy was perfect in every other way but less than 5'10".

    Either way, preferences are preferences. I prefer women be at least 5'2" and shorter than 5'10", with 5'4" being my ideal.

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  • You have your preferences, you're entitled to them.

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  • No, you have preferences. Everyone does. Don't let embittered people make you feel guilty because you can't help but find some things attractive and others not.

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  • Only as shallow as a guy not dating a girl because of her weight...

    I saw something the other day that said only about 14 percent of men are over 6 feet tall,

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  • I'm 5'6 and I don't find your preference for a taller man a problem and I don't see why any right minded person would have a problem with a preference.

    If you're not attracted to any man under 5'10, then that's all there is to it. You cannot force attraction, so don't bother trying is my motto.

    The only reason people will criticise you for your preferences is when they disagree with them or do not fit them. But ignore those people and carry on.

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  • I mean it's your preference. I'm 5'6 so I've gotten my fair share of hate from girls. The funny thing is I want to hate you for being another girl who will only go for tall guys but I can't because that's your right as a woman. You should be able to choose. Let me ask you this. If you bf was 5'10 and a 6'2 guy showed interest would you consider cheating or leaving for the other guy. Because I know several girls who would or have done this.

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  • The simple fact you're basing a persons attractiveness on 1 thing, is rather shallow. BUT saying that, we all have preferences.

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  • Well height is one of the few thing on your body you can't change so maybe a little, but then again everyone has their preferences and I can't blame you for that! :)

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  • Yes. So if they ask you out on a date, it's an "auto-out" huh?

    You have preferences as we all do.

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  • You are being shallow, but everyone has thier standards.

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  • Just because someones tall doesn't mean they can protect you.

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  • Send him a picture of a positive HIV test.

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  • Yes you are being shallow. Here is the good news. There is nothing wrong with being shallow. Every last person on the planet is only interested in people they find attractive. If someone doesn't have a trait you find attractive they take it personally and attack you for your preferences. No one should be shamed into dating someone they aren't attracted to.

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  • Yes, but we are ALL shallow. We all care about looks, although some more than others. However, sometimes you meet someone who doesn't match your ideal, that picture you have in your head, and you stop caring about that at all.
    I'm a giant myself and I've always wanted an amazon 6' or taller girl. When I met my girlfriend who's only 5'8, I stopped caring about a girl being super tall and decided that her height is just fine.

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  • There's a difference between preferring (having a preference) and limiting. Once you refuse to be with a guy under 5'10 you are just because they are under 5'10, you are, by definition, being shallow. It is your life and you can be with whomever you want to be with. There is no law that states you have to find guys under 5'10 to be attractive. The thing here is you have to find out why you find guys under 5'10 to be unattractive. 9 times out of 10 there is an underlining reason as to why. Which once corrected could open your eyes to guys that are shorter than 5'10. However, if there is no underlining reason... (which you would have to look hard for in the first place) then you are being pretty damn shallow. So, if the guy is amazing/perfect in every way except he is 5'8... then he's no good.. that's shallow.

    A preference would be you prefer guys to be taller, but if a guy is amazing in every way other than his height, then you will overlook that and still be with him.

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What Girls Said 10

  • look if you dont find them attractive then it is what it is. there are plenty of guys who wouldn't like you and thats their business. you can't like every guy or give them all a chance. dont feel bad about it

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  • You can't help your preferences, that doesn't make them not shallow. (we all have a few, nbd)

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    • If I made a thread here stating that I only like girls with big breasts and wouldn't accept anything under a D cup, and only look for D cups the women here would roast me alive. Just saying.

    • Most people are hypocrites that's why. They'll say yeah that's your preference and then when someone states something about them which they consider to be a deal breaker they'll get very sour. It's human nature.

  • I don't really find your preference shallow, I've liked guys who are my height (5'2 1/2) and taller guys, I actually find it weird when I like a guy who is really taller than me, but I don't really care about height much in all honesty.

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  • You're not being shallow, you have preferences just like everybody else.

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  • Everyone has their own preferences.

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  • It's a preference. You're allowed to pick who you prefer.

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    • She can pick who she prefers however she's doing it in a shallow way.

  • I wouldn't call it shallow. Everyone has different opinions and preferences :)

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  • No, there's nothing wrong with having height preferences.

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  • to each his own...

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  • When you start focusing on a guy's specific height to the point of stating that anything just slightly under and you don't find him attractive then yes, it can be seen as shallow.
    I know people that have preferences but they don't have that absolute rule that it has to be that way or else not.

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