Tough Choice? HELP! What should I do?

My best friend and I are really close and we really really care for each other. I've been there for her during hard times and you know what I mean. Recently, about 4 months ago after her ex broke up with her, me being there, I fell in love with her. She loved my personality and she really goes out of her way to see me. We do dinner and movies and hang. But Her response was she doesn't see us dating. I asked for a chance but she rejected. So I continued casually, until recently I learned why she didn't want to date me. She started to have feelings for her first ex. They have been talking a whole lot now and I feel left out. Note, her ex doesn't want to date her nor does he have feelings for her anymore. But she has false hopes that being with him more will change his mind. Now she doesn't want to hang or talk with me often, but she does. We got into a huge fight because I got mad. She said, even if she started to have feelings for me, she will stop it and try to keep the feelings for her ex. That hurt me knowing she won't let it happen naturally. She said she needed her space and it's been 3 days since we talked, but I see her talking to her ex. She wants me to be her best friend still. But I can't. I can't watch the girl I love, love someone else, even though her ex won't take her back, they're just friends now. I plan on telling her we can't be friends anymore because my feelings are too deep for her and she won't let the chance happen, it hurts me to even try to be myself when there is someone else she would like it from. She said I am the only guy who cares for her. She cried very hard when I said we can't continue. Guys and girls, what should I do? Is it the right choice to leave? Am I being used? Please help me out!!


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What Girls Said 1

  • You seem so sweet, and a good friend, and a awesome person to be honest there is not much you can do except just be by her side. maybe she is having feelings, but won't want to try it because she's scared it will ruin, your realashsonihip or maybe not but don't push her because maybe you might end up loosing, her best wishes to you.😊

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    • Thank you! I've been told I'm a great guy and people will regret losing someone who really cares because there are not many of people like me out there. But how can i be by her side, watching her love someone else, and having false hopes? She is wanting her ex back while she has an amazing guy right next to her... And like I mentioned, even if she developed feelings for me, she said she will stop it from happening. I'm so lose and don't know what to do. Right now I'm giving her space but I'm sure she is having a blast with her ex.. =(

    • Well then I think you should maybe try to find, someone else I know it's hard to say, goodbye but trust me you will find an awsome girl😉 and I doubt your bad, looking so hey go meet people.👍

What Guys Said 1

  • what should I do?
    I think you should give her space. if you can't be just her friend then maybe you can't be in her life

    Is it the right choice to leave?
    for whom to leave you? I think the smart decision is to give you guys space. She doesn't see you the way you see her.

    Am I being used?
    No. you feel used because you had different feelings than her, but it seems clear that the entire time she felt you guys had a platonic relationship, whereas you perhaps thought there was more

    I know you're feeling crummy right now but you'll feel better. What essentially happened is the age old friend zone scenario. you probably felt getting close to her as a friend in the beginning may turn into a more romantic relationship and it seems that she never felt this way... nothing more you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on

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    • Thank you for taking the time to write this out! Yes i understand and I think I am doing the right thing and give her space. BUT!! Doesn't asking for space mean 1) I want to see if I can live life without you. 2) It's a way of letting me down without hurting me even more? 3) Isn't it an insult to ask for space? Because it shows that person doesn't care about you?

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    • Once again thank you, the 2 comments are very helpful. May I contact you again via message? I will be seeing her again this Saturday and I would really appreciate it if you can guide me through some more information that are unknown to me

    • always glad to help if I can

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