Why does my boyfriend do this to me?

Hey peeps, three issues here;

1) If I'm upset about something and I bring it up to my bf he just says "it will be ok" without even asking what the issue is.

2) When I say I miss him, he says "don't worry it won't be long now" (until we see each other, sometimes for nearly two weeks). I ask if he misses me and he says "of course"

3) I messaged him tonight that I miss him and I feel depressed and he responded "well get undepressed baby" and that was the last I heard from him. The next day he would just message me "good morning" and everything from the previous day would be forgotten about. That's with everything!!!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe he just ain't the emotional type like that? O_o

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    • He has been in previous relationships but he is different with me

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    • Thank ya for mho :3 hope it helped!

    • You're welcome :)

What Guys Said 7

  • Sounds like the dude is not taking hints, he needs to get it together lol. It appears when you say something you are hoping for some kind of romantic response to show he feels the same way? And you are not getting it? In my opinion if his actions show that he loves you that is waaayyy more telling than his words. He may jsut be a reserved dude.

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  • Well from neutral lenses that looks like a selfish guy who doesn't care about you or in other words just cares about himself.

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  • This is how guys are taught to deal with feelings. 'Acknowledgement of feelings' isn't obviously a good idea to many guys.

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  • Upset he won't talk to you about your worries/concerns?

    Bring it up in the conversation, he'll probably have more to say then.

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  • There are better guys. It is kinda insensitive. too much insensitive.

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  • I feel your frustration. You want your man to communicate and understand you. The thing is he is thinking complete logic and you want him to feel as what you feel. To get him to understand this, you need to tell him and communicate what you are feeling and why you are feeling. clearly you want more time together and he wants less (though he likes you). This is just a difference in perspective and time spent varies from person to person.

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    • He knows we have problems but doesn't want to do anything about them. He knows what he is doing he says he does but nothing changes. It's weird

    • IF he's not open to CHANGE I would say let him go... that is you are changing and he is in the way of you changing.

    • I'm considering it. He said we have the same needs which makes it clear he is aware of what he is doing and just choosing to be this way, thanks dude

  • He loves you too much to argue and upset you.

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    • Wouldn't it be more appropriate to acknowledge my feelings instead of sweeping them away?

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    • Why ask how I am if he can't deal with the response he might get? Also, I'm not a nagging gf, I give him enough space and time alone as I'm not needy. The issue I have is him to addressing certain issues in out relationship and not being motivated to fix them. He used to in his past relationship but with me it's different, it's like he can't be bothered.

    • You solved your own question "he use to in his old relationship" obviously that doesn't work for him and he doesn't want to screw up.

What Girls Said 3

  • He isn't there for emotional support. A girlfriend (or wife) should always be there for her boyfriend (or husband) to offer emotional and moral support to him and if he decides he doesn't want to talk about it, then she shouldn't make him talk about it as long as he is aware that she is there for him. Same thing goes the other way. A boyfriend (husband) should be there for his girlfriend (wife) to offer emotional and moral support and if she decides she doesn't want to talk about it, then he shouldn't make her as long as she is aware he is there for her. For both people, if the other partner wants to talk about the issue, then they should let them!! If this does not happen, then there is major lack of feeling loved right and feeling completely appreciated and so this creates space and tension between the two partners and as long as this keeps happening, the space will grow and cause resentment for each other and cause issues in the relationship. I feel you need to talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel when he doesn't directly tell you he misses you and tell him how it makes you feel when he doesn't ask you what is wrong or talk to you about your day and stuff. Tell him how you feel about it. He may not even be aware that he is making you feel this way. Communication is key to any relationship. So make sure you communicate your feelings about this to him.

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    • I have spoken to him about all of the above many times and nothing changes, he says he will try but the next day it's back to where we started. I just think he can't be bothered and I'm getting fed up.

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    • Thanks hun

    • You’re welcome!

  • I think he should be alittle more interested in your thoughts and feelings

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    • I know, do you think be quiet possibly doesn't care enough?

    • Honestly, I don't think he cares enough. Especially since you go sometimes two weeks without seeing eachother. Communication is all you have and since you're not together all the time I would think a person would be more curious about their Gfs life

    • He has been working away that's why we don't see each other but still the communication isn't great but he's always distant so it's not like it's different when he's here.

  • He doesn't seem to care much about your feelings, he just kind of shoos them away. It might be time to get a new boyfriend.

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