Is it a red flag if a guy has slept with15 girls?

there's a guy I met. We have a lot in common and he always talks about how he likes me not just because of my looks but also because of my intelligence and he thinks I'm a pretty cool girl over all. He's super nice and giving, like a prince charming. But he's so attractive and we've kissed very sensually (no sex or anything close to that but very sexual kissing) we also cuddle and watch movies sometimes or go on walks. One time we got drunk and cuddled then I went home early in the morning while he was asleep. He said he wished i stayed for breakfast.. and was being super friendly. I'm just having trouble understanding what he wants.. like does he just want sex? or do you think he actually likes me?

I've had too many similar experiences, where a guy turns out to only want one thing.. but we click so well and are very alike, so I could see why he would want more from me but I'm afraid he doesn't. Oh and by the way, I found out he's slept with 15 girls. :/

Any tips? What do you think?

Thanks.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel like I say this way too often. Stop putting yourself on the sidelines and making him the star. Instead mulling over what he wants in your head until it drives you crazy, you tell him what you want, and see how he reacts. You will know right away his intentions. If you want to find out some roundabout way or somehow "get it out of him" THAT is how you will get lied to, manipulated, used, told what you want to hear, and confused. If you have clear intentions make him aware of them, as you would want him to do to you but hasn't. Why aren't you being clear with him? UGH, it is getting frustrating saying the same thing to everyone. No, it is not any harder for you, your case is not special. Don't you know the basis for ANY healthy relationship is HONESTY and COMMUNICATION. Neither of which you are doing successfully at the moment. That shows me a red flag that you are not ready for a relationship. And if you fear rejection, that shows me even more that you are too immature for a relationship.

    Sorry if I sounded mean at all, I'm sick of answering these types of questions because there are about 40 of them posted every day and the answers are the same. This is the best way. Get on it!

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    • Oh, and I wouldn't worry too much about 15 girls either. That really isn't that many.

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    • That is good, I feel like I took some of my frustration from other girls out on you :) hehe sorry! I am glad you are being mature about it, but I think my advice still stands, honesty and communication is the ground work for any healthy relationship. Yes feelings can get hurt that way too but you need to take that risk in life. Also, there is a a large gap in between being completely blunt and beating around the bush, there is probably something in the middle that gets the point across honestly without coming off as aggressive lol.

    • Haha its okay. But I think I'm a lot different than I came across on the question. It's hard to really show what kind of girl you are through this website. But yeah, I need to find a way to figure out the intentions without scaring him off. Just gonna wait and let it happen on its own.

What Guys Said 8

  • Depends if he was hit and running or just engaging in casual sex. There's no reason got a guy to not bang who he wants to bang when he's single. Two consenting adults who want to engage in casual sex are free to do so. If he likes to be casual when he's single, then I don't see how that makes him a bad guy.

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  • I honestly think nothing ventured, nothing gained. Only he knows what he's really after here, but given you've done so much non-sex stuff together, he probably *like* likes you.

    I would carry on as you are, and see how it goes.

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  • If he really slept with that many girls, yeah, I'd be concerned. That's just me and my values.

    From what you've said about he acts with you, though, you're happy and not looking to change anything.

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  • I think the main concern here is you're afraid he's going to dump you if he has had sex w you, finding you not sexual compatible afterwards, the fact he's so charming and he can get whatever women he wants!

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    • he could. and I'm pretty attractive myself but still its iffy.

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    • look at what's his preferences.
      But since he has had slept w 15 girls.
      He's probably that kind of guy who doesn't settle down early.

    • True. He's had like 2 serious relationships. So i'm assuming they have to be special.

  • Yep, I would consider that a huge red flag. Unless you are into that sort of thing.

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  • There's nothing "wrong" with him and his sexual history. However, if that's against your preference don't go on. Personally I wouldn't date a girl with that many sexual partners.

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  • no it's a green light. it means i'm going to be number 16. cha ching.

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  • I've slept with 14 . I hope number 15 will be the last girl xD. Depends on his age as to what he wants

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What Girls Said 5

  • For me 15 would be a bit much, sounds like he operates fast too. I don't think I'd go for that kind of guy in the first place. If it doesn't bother you the it's up to you.

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    • Yeah he already likes me and we've only hung out 5 times, two of those times hanging out with just each other.. so maybe he has a tendency to move fast then lose interest.

  • run as fast as you can.

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  • It depends on what his age is…
    I'd say if he's under 22, then it's a bit too much.

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  • That's too many for me to handle personally, being a virgin. It's up to you if that bothers you. But you need to determine why he chose to sleep with those women and if he was a good guy.

    If he deceived them or something like that then he's clearly a jerk. Hopefully everything was consensual at least.

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    • Maybe the way he sees sex might not match up with you. I'm saving myself for a guy who I really love and trust so a guy that did lots of casual stuff with girls wouldn't work for me, maybe you're different.

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    • Good thinking.

    • Good luck!

  • Not really. But I think that's too much. It'll make me question if it's still safe to do it with him.

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